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Multiple traumas have left me with low confidence and antisocial

3 replies

Beautifultrees · 14/10/2022 19:00

Changed my username for this. I am someone who by nature is extroverted and always enjoyed meeting new people and had jobs with plenty of customer and client interaction. However I was orphaned as a teen, had two children with cancer (recovered) and then had cancer myself right before COVID. I also recovered although it took about 3 years as it was very serious.

As a result of relocations and all the family illness, I haven’t worked for over 20 years. I am happily married and my husband is great. I had so much ambition and motivation and it now feels like it has completely left the building. Now I have found that I find ordinary social events quite overwhelming and I am avoiding them.

My husband just texted me from work to ask if I would lime to go to the coast for the weekend (we live in the US). Of course that sounds lovely but I find myself not even wanting to leave the house. I have a psychologist who since COVID I talk to remotely, I have only recently been able to talk about all the trauma I experienced to her as I have been so focused on making sure my young adult and teen children are OK and thriving and spent my time with her talking about them.

I am guessing logically that all these insane events on top of each other have obviously caused my change in how I feel, but I don’t know how to change it. I feel I have always had to emotionally pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep going. I have never had the luxury of falling apart as I had no family to turn to and I don’t want to put that all on my husband who has been fantastic through everything.

I don’t know how to change anymore. Twice I was at Uni completing my Masters Degree and had to leave because a kid had cancer. I have really tried but now just feel I am running on empty completely.

OP posts:
Ghostlygirl · 14/10/2022 23:23

I can’t believe how much you’ve gone through. I’m afraid I don’t have any practical advice, but I sympathise hugely.

MoreTeaLessCoffee · 14/10/2022 23:30

Have you learnt about survival mode op? This is something I'm struggling with as I've had a succession of traumas over the last 5 years. I don't have the answers yet but I've found it helpful to name what I'm going through.

Beautifultrees · 15/10/2022 03:44

Thank you so much for even answering me. I feel most of the time people don’t know what to say, or think everything is great because it was “way back then” and everyone recovered. I just feel very alone at the moment. The events and our relocations have left me with almost no friends although happily I get on great with my kids and they all have successfully made friends.

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