Safeguarding alert raised - what happens now?

[User6677]

Struggling with PND. HV didn’t take me seriously and struggling to get GP appointment. So called 111. The call handler has raised a safeguarding alert for the baby. Does anyone know what happens now? Panicking.

I don’t honestly know but didn’t want to leave your post unanswered as you sound distressed. I imagine this means NHS and perhaps Social services will act together to get you the help you need, which would be a good thing. I certainly don’t think anyone is about to take your child away from you, in case you’re worried about that.

Sending all my best hopes for you that you can soon receive whatever treatment you need. 💐

Please don’t panic. You’ve done exactly the right thing. I had horrendous pnd with 2 of my kids (narrowly escaped being sectioned at one point). It’s just something they have to do. Social services may or may not check in on you. They are there to support!. I was given the option of having a nursery paid for by social services while my anti depressants kicked in. If they even come at all (they are so stretched) they’ll be looking at ways they can support you. I know just how much that call took. Be proud of yourself x

Try not to panic, no one will swoop in and remove your baby, this only happens in the most dire cases and even then not often. This is a good thing as hopefully you'll get the support you need. It does get better 💐

Thank you. The call feels like such a mistake now. I can’t imagine they’ll take the kids but I hate the idea of surprise inspections and stripping the kids off looking for injuries or getting the older two DC school involved or whatever. I feel like I’ve heard horror stories. The guy on the phone just wasn’t taking me seriously. He said having a baby was hard and there wasn’t a magical way anyone was going to make that easier for me. My mind just keeps going to dark places. This baby is so much harder than the other two that I sometimes do wish me and him weren’t here for the sake of the rest of the family. But I’d never act on it, that’s just where my mind has gone. And I was calling for help because I don’t like the fact my mind even goes there. I just wanted some talking therapy or antidepressants!

DD was struggling with her mental health, to the point she had thoughts of suicide, and school recommended I take her to A&E for an emergency assessment, which I did.

That triggered an automatic safeguarding referral.

Honestly, OP, try not to worry, I know that is easier said than done especially with PND, but they don't go in looking to take your child away (it is hugely expensive and there is a shortage of placements, apart from everything else...).

They basically need to check that you are able to care for your child adequately, and see if there is any extra support that you need. Don't feel scared of asking for support - I did. We had a lovely support worker for a few months, and she was able to advocate for DD to be prioritised at CAMHS and with post-adoption, was genuinely supportive and reassuring.

It did feel a bit weird to let complete strangers know all about our life, and quite vulnerable because there was the chance they might be critical about something. But they weren't, and the focus was on supporting myself and DD to get into a better place.

None of that may happen, they might just refer you to the GP. Go and make a cup of tea and try and get out for a short walk, it'll help put things into perspective.

Tell them what you put here about struggling to get a GPs appointment - that is the sort of thing they can help with because they can escalate it for you more easily than you can for yourself (especially when you are struggling already).

I don’t think anyone can say what will or won’t happen but yes they may want to visit (depends on the concerns) if they do it is standard to look in the children’s rooms, never had them asking to look at the children’s bodies unless they have a reason to believe they are being physically harmed? But that is not done as standard, they will want to contact your children’s school and hv and gp to make sure none of them have concerns but it will most likely be passed down to early help if they have decided there are no safeguarding concerns

I have been reported under safeguarding concerns 5 times. 1 for a bad relationship, all the others under mental health concerns (by a variety of professionals from psychiatry, to a college wellbeing person). The only concerning one was the relationship one - and that was easily solved with a posted, signed agreement and 4 phone calls. Of all the mental health ones, I have had 3 phone calls, that's all. I imagine you will be phoned (probably by family first rather than SS), possibly a brief visit.

They will want to talk to you (and potentially your children if you have any of speaking age), they will probably be patronising and a bit rude, they may not have even bothered to look at the referral enough to know your name... (Has happened twice.) They will not want to do any of the things you were worried about. If your children are at school or nursery, they will probably also want to speak to them.

You did the right thing. This is not going to end in a cascade of intervention and interference. They didn't even do a visit when I was reported by psychiatry as psychotic and suicidal - just wanted to make sure I was still parenting and that the DC would not be able to ever see me self harm (I am unsure how they decided this by phone, though happy that they believed me). At most, this will be a couple of visits, but I'd expect a lot less. It will be OK. I hope you get the help you are asking for soon.💐

(When I say speak to school, I really do only mean that. My DCs school told them I was a fabulous mother and they would help if there was ever a need, but that they had no concerns at all. That was the only SS involvement with school.)

Hopefully you will be offered support to help you cope with motherhood better. Try to think of it that they are on your side, and not trying to trick you or catch you out. If they wish to examine your children, or talk to them, see it as a good thing that they are doing their job properly. It will be obvious them that your kids are being looked after and not abused, but think of the thousands who aren't. They need to be thorough for their sake.

I'm so sorry that you are struggeling. I had PND really bad and really struggled too.

You have done the right thing and hopefully you will now get the help and support you need. Please try not to panic. Being as honest as possible gets you to the right person and the right help, from the right person, at the right time, can be the difference in recovering and not.

I hope you are ok. Sending you love & strength. And as someone who has suffered like you are, I can promise you it does get better. Suicide is a very permanent answer to what will be a temporary problem/illness. Keep reaching out and speak to family & friends in RL.