So overwhelmed

[CanIusethisnameplease]

I tried to type this message for the last three days.

months ago my daughter was badly sexually assaulted.

we have only just found out

lots of agencies, police , social workers, school ect are involved

I am hoping we are being supportive to her , and she definitely seems much brighter that she’s spoken about it

I keep telling myself that it’s all about her and I need to be stronger

but the truth is I am completely overwhelmed. Devastated. I don’t know how I’m keeping going at this point,

I don’t even feel I can tell anyone for support. My closet friend knows , but she’s having a hard time herself atm.

I can’t comprehend how I’m going to work every day and smiling and getting on with it , nobody knows what’s going on at home

I wouldn’t dare tell my mum , she wouldn’t be the most supportive, after she had told me off , it would only give her sleepless nights

I don’t even know why I’m posting. I just needed a moment to say it’s not fucking fair
my poor daughter is so young to be going though this

and now she is fast asleep in bed I just wanted to say I’m not coping at all

Of course you are. The poor little poppet. And you. The pain you feel for your child's pain is immense.

You do have to get on with life which you already know. So does your wee girl and she will. Try (easier said than done) not to dwell on it except in situations when you have decided to discuss it or need to.

Don't make the recovery and aftermath worse than the event. Dealing with the fall out from these things I gather can be worse. In the old days they just ya know in the war and out of war people have had to deal with unspeakable things and still got on with life. Look for coping mechanisms for her and you.

Your poor daughter, I’m so sorry for both of you.
I have a friend going through something slightly similar, and she posted this the other day.
Apologies if this sort of thing is irritating shite to you, I know we’re all different. I know it doesn’t fix anything for your daughter. But even if it’s not words you find helpful, at least know a stranger online wanted to give you something 💐

Rain

This sounds awful. No wonder you are overwhelmed. You have suffered a trauma too. What happened to your daughter is devastating. Not just to her but to you too. I don't have any words of wisdom. You are trying to be brave, strong and be ok for your child but you need to process what has happened too. You can only run on adrenaline, being brave and strong for so long. You have to look after yourself as well as your daughter.
I cannot imagine how hard this is.

How awful for your daughter and for you. Sending a hand hold for both of you xxx

It’s so lovely to get responses

Don't make the recovery and aftermath worse than the event

thank you- I actually think I needed to hear that

Well done for posting after trying for 3 days. It’s good to get it out. Do you want to talk more? Tell us how you’re feeling if you like. Or another way might go to journal it all - just get it all out on paper, everything that happened and everything you felt about it, in private so you can be totally honest. Maybe try using a feelings wheel to help you find some words, and notice where you feel the feelings in your body.

It might take lots of talking/writing it over and over to process what’s happened. Right now it sounds like you have it all bottled up inside of you so no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Things will start to feel better as you sort through it all and let it all in bit by bit. Go as slowly as you need to - the overwhelm and any freeze/numbness you might feel are your body’s way of protecting you.

You are not responsible for the actions of others. None of us can live life keeping people out and none of us have any way to know for sure who the dangerous people are. All we can do is our best.

I'm so sorry, OP. Both you & your daughter are going through a horrendous ordeal.

We're here if you want to ramble, shout cry. Sending hugs.

Thank you

I don’t feel quite so alone

realistically I know I’m not , but gosh it’s hard sometimes