Concerns at work

[lavenderlove]

Hi, I really need some advice on what I should do at work regarding my colleague and management..

Today my colleague got very upset and broke down on me saying she feels unsupported at work. I supported her and then spoke to management alone about how upset she was and voiced her concerns for her. They basically disagreed with everything I said, blamed my colleague saying she wasn't doing her job properly and then at the end one made a comment that made fun of her for crying.

I do agree that we are all badly managed and supported. I don't need support as much in my role but my colleague does and she isn't getting it. I don't know whether to go higher and speak to senior management or whether I should just let my colleague know that if she wants to make a complaint herself I'll back her up?

The comment they made about her making fun of her has really angered me and I really want to make this known but for some reason I'm scared to! I know that's silly.

Thanks

That's is horrible. Hopefully someone ore knowledgeable.

I'm not an expert.

It's very hard situation. Be prepared for it not to have a good outcome and your colleague to be in an untenable situation. Be prepared not to get embroiled.

You can complain to you superior about the way they spoke unprofessionally about your colleague. She can complain/grievance that she is not being adequately supported.

However, Support can be manipulated to mean the colleague is weak and needs support. So be careful.

Bullying in the workplace is awful. I'd advise her to look for another job

@mrsjimhopper that's what I'm worried about, that it won't have a good outcome for my colleague! I would really hate for her to find out they were making fun of her too. You're right that they try to spin it as if she is weak all the time when she is the opposite in my opinion.

My colleague is actively looking for another job so I'm pleased about that.

Did your colleague ask you to speak to management because if not you may have caused her a lot more grief.

I understand your sense of injustice but I can't see any good will come of trying to do "something" about it, especially if your colleague is already working on her exit anyway.

@Crinkle77 management saw her upset so she knows I explained why. I hope I haven't caused her any more grief.

@tickticksnooze that's true. I just hate to think of them getting away with being so horrible to someone!

You seem to have got a good handle
On it. I'd not say anything else.

Just try and emotionally support her but that can be a very draining task if she is in a poor frame of mind and needs constant cheering up. Can be quite easy if she just need a good laugh and cup for tea!
And now for some idioms
"Don't let the bastards grind you down" . And " just because you think they are to get you doesn't mean they are NOT"

For you and your colleague.

They absolutely shouldn't have made fun of her, that's both unkind and unprofessional. They shouldn't have discussed her performance with you unless you are in some way responsible for her.

It's difficult to advise without knowing your sector, business size, model etc but I personally wouldn't get involved in fighting someone else's battles unless you're sure you have full facts and are prepared to leave yourself if it doesn't go your way.

I think it sounds the right thing for her to move on. It might be worth you considering this too if you feel that the culture isn't great. Unfortunately it's not always possible to challenge or change this if the leadership isn't in the right place themselves.

Having taken step one and explained your co-workers feelings , you should now stay in your lane and step out of this situation.

They may think that your co-worker is not doing her job, but they may also conclude that your are instigating conflict. An adult who cannot articulate on their own behalf, is not necessarily going to inspire respect for her critical thinking and situational decision making.

You have done your good deed any more action on your part may brand you as a busy body.