Have I been ghosted by friend?

[GhostedTheMostest]

I'm completely and utterly baffled.

Had a really good relationship with ex colleague. Last few times we met we had a nice time, nothing unusual. Dinner and catch up, walk and catch up.

I sent her a message a few weeks back and it occurred to me I'd never heard back, noticed the message on WhatsApp hadn't been opened but that she had been online, no problem assumed it has gotten swallowed up/missed/forgotten about.

Sent another message, exact same thing. I can't really think of any reason why.

I'm being ghosted aren't I? I'm not sure if I should try again, catch her husband (we cross paths semi regularly) to ask if everything is ok, send an email incase its technology failure, although I can't see how it could be. Or do I just leave it?

I feel really quite confused, have wracked my brains incase I unknowingly offended her but I know I didn't say anything. I'm not really sure what to make of it. It would be so out of character for her.

I'm so glad you did @GhostedTheMostest . I sincerely hope your meeting has a positive outcome in terms of your friendship.

@Metabigot

I've seen , and experienced it myself, that when in a crisis a friendship can go to pot.

Similar to you, I had a friend- one of my oldest and closest friends- abandon me when I was going through a crisis and show not one iota of interest or concern.

It killed the friendship as I couldn't get past it. Maybe my expectations were too high but we'd been friends for years and I'd been there for her in times of need.

I found myself withdrawing and almost testing her to get in touch to show some concern yet she did not.

I totally feel your pain. It's really miserable isn't it? & it adds a nice layer of faeces to a crappy situation in which you are already drowning.

In a weird way, although you'd think you couldn't be more depressed than you are if you are bereaved by the loss of a parent you were really closed to, it's amazing how abandonment by a friend you thought were close hurts SO much. It's like having needles stuck in you.

It is, and a mutual friend sided with first friend (she is closer to first friend and I think wanted to show her loyalties) so I lost 2 supposed friends at once.

It has really affected me, I thought I'd left that kind of stuff behind at school. It all ended in a nasty confrontation (from former friend) and I was crying for days afterwards. Still wake up in the night questioning why it fell apart. People say so casually, oh just ditch your friends if they're not meeting your needs, but after 20 years of someone being in your life its not as easy as that.

I'm not sure, I got the feeling either something serious is going on with her or I've done something however, the fact I just can't see that I have and that she was at her volunteer role when I called makes me think it must be something going on with her.

I now hope I have said something to upset her though because the alternatives could be far worse 🙁 I'm now far more worried for her than me.

You win the prize for voice of reason 👌

Could it be that she's accidentally archived your thread? I've archived messages on WhatsApp before, then when the person has messaged me again months later, it's gone into the archive rather than me have a fresh message appear!

Male or female OP, maybe husband got the ick?

What happened OP?