DM died. Present to care home?

[Byfleet]

DM died in a care home a few days ago. I was with her for her last 48 hours and the staff were incredibly kind to us both. In fact they have been great with her for all the 5 years she was there with dementia.

I have given various boxes of chocolates and cards etc over the years for Christmas and occasions ti thank them for extra care. I’d like to send something to them all now, along with a nice card and message. I can’t really think of what to send though. Is a posh box of brownies a good idea? It would have to be a delivery service as I live about 300 miles away.

Any experience or ideas?

Yes posh brownies or a posh cake from a posh bakery would be nice. I think they would appreciate it

OP, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your lovely Mum especially to such a cruel disease. It's really lovely of you to think of doing this when you are grieving yourself . Having worked for most of my life in care homes and with the elderly I can honestly say that a card of sincere appreciation for the care given will mean so much and of course the Brownies will be well received by everyone. When this happened to us we used to sit round the table with our mugs of coffee, enjoy the cake/biscuits/chocs or whatever and make a point of sharing our memories - there would be lots of "do you remember whens" and laughter. The thing is OP, our residents were part of our "work family" and we always felt the loss keenly especially if it was a long term resident that we had grown to know and love. So, yes I promise you any gesture will be appreciated!

@recklessgran thanks so much for your reply, it’s really helpful. I will order something nice now!

What a lovely reply recklessgran - comforting to know people like you care for our loved ones My late granddad had similarly kind carers in his final days and we are so grateful

When my grandmother died - resident fir a similar time in a lovely, friendly care home - they appreciated a donation to their discretionary fund, which they used to make sure residents all got a present at Christmas and on their birthdays, and for other activities or little touches like that. So you might consider asking if they have something similar, along with the delivery of cake to share?

So sorry for your loss OP. Brownies sound lovely and much more easy to deliver than cake.
As I was local, I got the staff a big cake and some nice hand creams as it was in peak covid hand sanitiser and gloves time.
I also bought a cheerfully decorated bird box for outside the lounge area as the residents like watching the birds at the bird table and I felt that was a nice personal reminder of my relative there too.

Also, write them a testimony - something they can share with people considering using them in the future, and show to CQC when they do inspections. That’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Sorry for your loss.
And thank you for showing your appreciation to the staff.

In my experience, we love chocolates. Brownies and similar are also amazing, just as long as there's enough to go around, and to save some for the next shift too. It's just better to be something convenient to eat as we've usually got only a few seconds to spare! So for eg a whole cake that you have to slice, and has messy icing, it's always very much appreciated of course but just makes enjoying it a bit tricky!

A box of flowers are also lovely because they can be put on the desk and every staff member always stops to see them and ask who they're from, and then we love to reminisce about the resident and their family. The other residents also get enjoyment from looking at the flowers, especially in a dementia unit.

But most of all, we love a beautiful message in a card. Makes our heart melt. It's just so meaningful, especially as we're usually running around like crazy, cursing how hard our jobs are... to stop and read a message like that just makes everything worthwhile.

I was a carer things we always appreciated include coffee, tea, milk, biscuits, and takeout vouchers. When covid was big Dominos used to send us meals. That really cheered us up.

Individually wrapped items are better than cake as we didn't always get breaks so items that were wrapped could be rewrapped and saved for later if our break was interrupted.

Very sorry about the loss of your mum. I think a card and posh brownies sounds perfect and you won’t realise how much of an impact you saying thank you will have for them. Huge.