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Original poster

So silly but can't stop the tears

17 replies

forevercooking · 10/10/2022 21:11

I have twin boys who are 5. No more children for me as husband and I are separated. I didn't have more children due to severe PND causing me to think something bad would happen if I did.
Now we are separated so no more for me. I still have every item of baby stuff. Just couldn't bare to part with anything. It's taking up all the cupboards and shed and I know I need to let go. I am now as of tomorrow, through my work volunteering at a baby charity so have decided I need to donate stuff. I've told work and the baby charity I'll be bringing loads with me tomorrow. Now I'm bagging it all up I can't stop crying. Remembering them wearing it and the smell of it all. Boys are at their dads and I'm sat in a mountain of teeny baby clothes sobbing like a mad woman.

No point to this post except I have no one in real life who will understand. My few mum friends are much more ruthless and got rid of their stuff ages ago and don't understand my ridiculousness.

Sigh! Oh well best crack on ...

OP posts:

Bibbetybobbity · 10/10/2022 21:13

Awh OP, that sounds hard. Can you keep a few tiny things that were more precious to you? I get it. I have one dd and have kept various things over the years.

Original poster

forevercooking · 10/10/2022 21:17

Bibbetybobbity · 10/10/2022 21:13

Awh OP, that sounds hard. Can you keep a few tiny things that were more precious to you? I get it. I have one dd and have kept various things over the years.

I've put aside quite a few. Already kept their first hospital outfits, coming home outfits, christening outfits, first football tops. Hats from hospital etc.
I know I can't keep it all but my heart wants to.

OP posts:

kateandme · 10/10/2022 21:21

Make a little special box for each.decorate it,add any other bits,it will help with the moving on. You can keep adding to it to show them in the future.
mum did CNN mine and I’ve carried on adding.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 10/10/2022 21:24

I kept a tiny pair of jeans, some weeny li'l socks and the christening outfit that both my boys wore. Every so often when I'm feeling drunk emotional, I get them out and have a slightly awkward ahhh fest... Don't judge me 😉

KangarooKenny · 10/10/2022 21:24

Well done for passing it on to those who need it.
I’ve kept some of the special things for mine.

Mossstitch · 10/10/2022 21:35

Awww😢 mine are all in their 30s and I have a tiny firstborn cardigan and hat that all of them wore, I well up just looking at it everytime😭...... (not discussing the loft full of favourite toys which I kept with the excuse that they would do for grandchildren that don't look forthcoming a time soon) which have the same affect🤦

Cantthinkofanewnameatm · 10/10/2022 21:35

You’ve done well sorting out the things you want to keep.
You know you aren’t going to keep it all.
Now sit for a few minutes and think of the mums and babies who’ll receive your gifts. How adorable they’ll think their babies look in their new clothes, how warm and cosy they’ll be. It’ll be like you’re giving gifts every day.
And in turn those mums will be happy to help other mums and babies ( it’s been proven that if you have kindness done to you, you’re more likely to pass it on and more than once)
Google Jaime Thurston, she writes a lot about kindness and it’s effects.
You’re doing a lovely thing. 💐

PinkButtercups · 10/10/2022 21:44

You can keep most of it if you want to and have a nice quilt/blanket made out of them.

Original poster

forevercooking · 10/10/2022 21:45

Thank you everyone. I now have a huge suitcase and 8 large bags for life to load into the car. I must admit I also have a large bag for life of stuff I'm currently not ready to let go of. I also have a huge bag of Muslins, another of blankets and all their cot bedding. I'm a wreck.

OP posts:

vipersnest1 · 10/10/2022 21:47

Keep a few special pieces of clothing.
My DC are now in their twenties and I still have theirs.
As long as you keep some special things, the rest can go.
There's nothing wrong with having a few tears over the fact that they will never be like that again, and while you are proud of who they are now, they are not those little people who needed you so much.

Prawnandcrocktail · 10/10/2022 22:11

It’s a very different thing to get rid of baby stuff when you have the chance to have another child. Quite another when you are separated and know you won’t have any more. I found it so incredibly difficult but people are right, it’s lovely to hope that another mum will enjoy seeing their child dressed in lovely clothes. Motherhood is the definition of bittersweet!

Original poster

forevercooking · 10/10/2022 22:43

I know the babies the stuff is going to so desperately need it which is one of the only reasons I have managed to even think about it. I know I'm being ridiculous. Unfortunately knowing it doesn't make it any easier.

OP posts:

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 10/10/2022 22:48

It is hard, I remember when we have DD’s pram to the charity shop I was really sad and felt daft that I felt like that. It’s not ridiculous, it’s valid feelings.

Original poster

forevercooking · 10/10/2022 22:50

PinkButtercups · 10/10/2022 21:44

You can keep most of it if you want to and have a nice quilt/blanket made out of them.

I looked into this and every company I contacted never got back to me. Is that a sign?

OP posts:

katmarie · 10/10/2022 22:51

It's not ridiculous, it's how you feel. You're doing a wonderful thing, which is coming from a place of so much love. I hope that helps a bit, but remember it's OK to feel your feelings.

Original poster

forevercooking · 10/10/2022 22:53

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 10/10/2022 22:48

It is hard, I remember when we have DD’s pram to the charity shop I was really sad and felt daft that I felt like that. It’s not ridiculous, it’s valid feelings.

I have the double pram and 2 singles in the shed 🤦🏼‍♀️ ex says he will sort the shed out at some point for me to get them out and donate them too. Fuck I'm such a mess. This feels like absolute reality that having babies is over. As I had twins I also feel because I only got to do it all once it's even harder. I love having twins but I always thought one day I'd have more.

OP posts:

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 11/10/2022 12:56

forevercooking · 10/10/2022 22:53

Show quote history

I felt the same way, we always wanted another child but it never happened (took a lot to have DD). I’m still terrible at letting go of her things and she’s 10 now.

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