Teenage weekends

[daffodilandtulip]

DC are 13 & 16 and quickly becoming hermits! Our weekends used to be filled with parks, national trust, road trips, meals out etc etc.

DD has a job for half the weekend, which is fabulous, I don't mind this at all. DS occasionally meets friends but mostly has online (as in, with school mates) gaming sessions and Group FaceTimes.

Part of me feels grateful for long lie ins, afternoon baths and time to potter in the garden. But then the other half of me gets to Monday and feels guilty that I wasted the weekend, and that we don't have much family time anymore.

Don't get me wrong, we see each other - we'll have a takeaway, a pizza night, watch a film, watch Saturday night tv etc ... but we barely leave the house.

What do other peoples' weekends look like? Do I need to get more imaginative to get them interested, or is it just the end of the road for spending time with boring old mum? Is it normal to just laze around every weekend or am I just being a lazy parent? This isn't about comparing myself to social media, I genuinely wonder what others do, and if I should be a better parent.

My weekends can be similar OP, my dcs are 12 & 16 and would very much prefer to laze about in pjs all weekend. They enjoy playing board games with us or watching a movie, but I’ve given up trying to drag them out for walks (they occasionally come).
My dh & I usually enjoy a walk together and grab breakfast on a Sunday before they’ve even woken up.

I really miss the days out years too.

Day trips, castles, following trails....

Even with my DS age 9 I wonder this! He likes to do his own thing and gets engrossed in audiobooks or Lego etc in his room, so no bad things, but I do wonder if we should have more family time. Though is a bit different perhaps as it’s just me and him in our household.

Does everyone in your family seem happy? I’m just wondering if it’s purely a bit of mum-guilt or worry on your part - a sort of top down/rational thinking ‘should’ be doing something better/different - rather than an organic need arising from you or other family members that points to anything that needs to be change? Could it be a stage of empty-nest anxiety as your children are becoming more independent?

My DC is 14. I just leave him to it. We have a takeaway on Friday nights then he goes out with his friends on Saturdays. Sundays he lazes around, gaming and does homework.

@B1pbop yes they're very happy. When I ask what they want to do they say things like sleep or not get dressed. Definitely mum guilt and quite possibly the beginnings of empty nest!

I'm glad this is "normal". Even if it makes me sad.

Sounds like you are still spending more time together than we did at that age.

By that age, my teens would let me take them to their sports, but other than that would be away with Scouts / Explorers, at work (once 16), or in their rooms.
It was rather nice to get more time back to myself.
Very, very normal not to want to be "going out with Mum" as teens. They come back once they are older

Very similar here OP - you're not alone. It's a weird adjustment.

my weekends are similar too, eldest is almost 15. youngest 10. 10 year old will go out to play with friends sometimes but they are happy to laze about gaming etc. this past weekend I spent mostly in pj's. we rarely seem to venture out these days at the weekends. I actually think the covid lockdowns had a lot to blame with us as we spent that much time at home that we now lack the motivation to get up and go. I too sometimes feel we've wasted the weekends.

Mine are 15 and 12, and the less "mum mode" I'm in , the better the weekend goes, last one felt more like student digs, very bizarre with darts games and guitar hero.

Ds 15. Gaming with mates

Hates going out with us. Will go occasionally if interested car show etc.

Dd 17. Taxi service for friends meet ups parties plus part time job
Then in room Phone films napping homework a levels
She will come out with us to shopping meals zoos etc if we ask and has time.

Dd being able to drive will be very welcome. Rural and no bus on weekends 😡😡😡

I guess it depends where you live. DD is 14 and her punishment on Friday was staying in after school. She has easy access to London and is in and out most of the weekend.

I found it to be very hard to adjust to. It seemed to happen overnight. We managed to lure them out with meals which actually meant chatting but it can be an expensive way to just spend time together.

Suburbs of a midlands town with few facilities. DD is happy to meet mates for meals and cinema (parents club together to share lifts) but there's nothing about that interests DS to go out with his friends. Plenty in a reasonable drive away that we used to do together, so it's not a "can't".

@Doingmybest12 yes yes to the overnight feeling! We went away in July and has a fabulous time...before that we always went out at least once over the weekend.

During lockdown we really embraced the outdoor life and did more than ever out and about (that was allowed!!) so yes, it just seems to have changed overnight.

@whenwillthemadnessend totally torn on the driving one ... get really fed up with being a taxi but then I'm like, this is the only time we chat 🤣. DD says there's no point learning to drive until after uni anyway so...

Ours are 13 and 15 and exactly the same. At weekends DH and I get up, pack a picnic and take ourselves to the beach / city / NT place - leaving them to chill at home. We miss them but it's nice to have the time for just the two of us after all these years. Other days I'll meet a friend, go for a swim, cinema or whatever. We'll catch up with the DC in the evenings over a film or dinner. So our weekends are still full - it's just different.

My DC are similar ages. We do a family thing once a month - meal out or movie or theme park or sports event or outdoor activities. Costs vary depending on how much we can afford but it’s booked into the calendar. So far, they’ve been really on board and we’ve had some good times. It suits us because I feel we’ve had some quality time and it takes the pressure off for the rest of the weekends if that makes sense? 😂

I am basically a taxi service at weekends!

Friday evening: football training
Saturday: often a school match in the morning. Meets his mates in the afternoon.
Sunday: Goal keeper training

Can you remember what you were like as a teenager - I loathed 'family time' and had a part time job in a restaurant and the rest of the time was just chatting with friends or listening to Radio Caroline . I think it's pretty normal.

Our DS was/is big into cricket so we spent endless weekends driving him round the county to matches ... which go on for ever but a great way to be out in the fresh air and enjoying being part of a team ... and I've learned loads about cricket and quite enjoy doing the teas ....

The other thing we all love is board games and cards ...plus cooking nice meals at home.

I have three teen DC. They all play sport, so DH and I drive them to matches at the weekends. They meet up with friends, and like you we spend time together watching a film or TV, but the days of National trust style days out are long gone. We do sometimes go out for a meal as a family.

15 and 12 year old here. Exactly the same, no one interested in going anywhere except for food! Both play lots of sport, so they are getting out and they do other stuff with friends too.
The thing I find difficult is that they aren’t old enough (12 year old especially), to just leave for hours on end so we seem to spend a lot of time hanging around!

What self-respecting teenager wants to spend time with their parents? None of us ever did! Enjoy getting your life back.

@Hbh17 very good point!

DD texted about a different matter earlier but her reply was "have you ever even met a teenager" 🤣

I'm glad you are all "wasting" your weekends too! I feel so much better now