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Original poster

Smear test dread

48 replies

bakewellbride · 10/10/2022 06:30

I've got my smear test today and I'm absolutely dreading it. I woke up this morning crying about it and I'm crying again now which I know sounds pathetic but it's true.

I don't want to cancel but how can I go ahead with it?

I have no body confidence since having my second baby and can't stand the thought of anyone seeing me intimately. I know they don't care but I can't help feeling the way I do. Dh just tells me 'not to worry' about it but it's not that simple.

OP posts:
PinkButtercups · 10/10/2022 09:27

cookiecreammmpie · 10/10/2022 09:23

I asked about this at my last appointment. They only look for HPV and if that is positive they look for cell changes. The nurse said that you wouldn't have cell abnormalities without HPV. I said but what if your last test was negative and you have the same sexual partner, what are the chances of getting it? And she said its still possible. But I think maybe it's the fact that you can't put your health in the hands of someone else ( cheating partners).

Not only that but it doesn't matter if you have had the same partner for 20+ years HPV can lay dormant for many many years.

Wildlynx · 10/10/2022 09:29

"The sample is checked for certain types of human papillomavirus (HPV) that can cause changes to the cells of your cervix. These are called "high risk" types of HPV.
If these types of HPV are not found, you do not need any further tests."

www.nhs.uk/conditions/cervical-screening/

ittakes2 · 10/10/2022 09:37

I don't understand the whole they only check if you have the wart virus thing. I had CIN 3 and had an inch of my cervix taken off - I did not have the wart virus.
Honestly, you need to suck this up. I thought you were going to say you found them super painful, they were triggering due to past assault etc. You feel embarrassed about your bits? Your lovely new baby and your husband need and want you - this test is just making sure you are not on a pathway to cancer and it only takes a few minutes just get it done and move on with your life.

Interested in this thread?

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LT2 · 10/10/2022 09:38

@mamabear715 and @CremainsOfTheDay they changed the procedure in 2019 to only look for HPV. They only investigate further if positive. See link below. That's why I and many others choose to do HPV tests at home now, since that's all they do. I don't think the change is widely known (hence you didn't know), which I think is bad. The amount of women who aren't going for smears- I imagine a lot of them wouldn't hesitate if they knew there was an alternative they could purchase instead which does exactly the same as a smear test.
yorkshirecancerresearch.org.uk/news/cervical-screening-whats-changed

LT2 · 10/10/2022 09:40

PinkButtercups · 10/10/2022 09:27

Not only that but it doesn't matter if you have had the same partner for 20+ years HPV can lay dormant for many many years.

Show quote history

What if, like me, that partner (and i) have never been with anyone else? 🤔 health professionals have tried to convince me it's still possible but I can't see how. It's surely the same risk as a virgin?

VenusClapTrap · 10/10/2022 09:40

The amount of women who aren't going for smears- I imagine a lot of them wouldn't hesitate if they knew there was an alternative they could purchase instead which does exactly the same as a smear test.

Yes, me. 🙋‍♀️I haven’t been for a decade because it’s so painful and traumatic. I didn’t know there was a home test. I will look into this.

FunnyTalks · 10/10/2022 09:51

One reason to do it at the surgery rather than home test is the nurse also performs a visual check on your cervix while they do it (so definitely aren't focusing on your vulva or your pubes or your thighs).

I find these excruciating (trauma reasons) but have also lost a loved one to a HPV cancer. People can be born with HPV and it can lie dormant.

My solution is to always choose a female nurse (female because trauma and shared experience of anatomy, nurse because I generally find them warmer and more competent at tests because they do more of them than doctors) and chat to them. Tell them I'm nervous. They have always put me at ease. I definitely preferred it when my kids were tiny enough to come too as it meant there was something else to focus on. Although there was the time a helpful 4 year old, who'd been handed my phone, decided to take photos....

FunnyTalks · 10/10/2022 09:53

VenusClapTrap · 10/10/2022 09:40

The amount of women who aren't going for smears- I imagine a lot of them wouldn't hesitate if they knew there was an alternative they could purchase instead which does exactly the same as a smear test.

Yes, me. 🙋‍♀️I haven’t been for a decade because it’s so painful and traumatic. I didn’t know there was a home test. I will look into this.

I was told at my last smear that putting your fists under your bum and raising your pelvis up helps with pain and it did. I'm tall, I think my cervix is a long way away!

mamabear715 · 10/10/2022 10:01

@LT2 Thank you so much for explaining, that's very much appreciated. :-)

Original poster
bakewellbride · 10/10/2022 10:03

@FunnyTalks thanks that's really interesting to know about the cervix check. Great post!

OP posts:
beingsunny · 10/10/2022 10:15

Please don't be afraid, I had abnormal cells which required laser, I then had my 12 month test a few weeks ago and looks like it's bad again.

I'm a single parent to a 10 yo boy, the sleepless nights I have had for delaying it by a couple of months because I've been too busy to make an apt have been awful.

It's undignified yes but it's over so fast and worth it for your health and future self.

Original poster
bakewellbride · 10/10/2022 14:26

Thanks all. I got it done. It was fine but I cried so much afterwards. The nurse was nice and said everything looked good and normal which helped but I'm still a way off feeling completely body confident and sexy.

OP posts:
MuddyLuddy · 10/10/2022 14:57

Well done for getting it done . I don't think anyone goes off for a smear test feeling body confident and sexy .
it is done now so breathe out and relax .

paisley256 · 10/10/2022 15:03

Well done I'm so glad it's over for you.

I had mine last week and my coil removed at the same time, it was absolutely fine but I was dreading it.

I took paracetamol beforehand just incase of the pain.

Breezycheesetrees · 10/10/2022 15:05

Well done for getting through it OP. It doesn't half make me gnash my teeth when people start wittering on about how there's nothing to be embarrassed about, they've seen all sorts etc. The reason I cry before, during and after smear tests isn't because I'm worried about what my fanny looks like FFS, it's because I find the whole process incredibly painful and traumatic. I'm glad some people find it a breeze but please don't patronise those of us who don't.

BertieBotts · 10/10/2022 15:13

Well done. I hope the nurse was kind. We all find different things difficult - a smear test is easy for me but I have to take anti anxiety medication to visit the dentist. I wish we could swap the bits we don't like!

Skala123 · 10/10/2022 19:06

bakewellbride · 10/10/2022 14:26

Thanks all. I got it done. It was fine but I cried so much afterwards. The nurse was nice and said everything looked good and normal which helped but I'm still a way off feeling completely body confident and sexy.

How do confident and sexy even come into a conversation about a smear test?!

Original poster
bakewellbride · 10/10/2022 19:16

@Skala123 I felt bad about letting the nurse see and was sobbing that it looked bad after having 2 children. It was the first time anyone had seen me intimately in nearly 7 months as I'm not confident enough with my husband yet. The nurse was kind and reassured me that everything looked normal and that made me feel a bit better. I don't know what's hard to understand tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
bakewellbride · 10/10/2022 19:17

Thank you @BertieBotts @Breezycheesetrees and others for your kind words.

OP posts:
maslinpan · 10/10/2022 19:22

I'm glad it's over and done with for you today, well done. I don't know if it helps, but I am having a mammogram tomorrow and I find that much more uncomfortable and undignified than the smear. But I just think of my grandma who died very young from breast cancer and grit my teeth.

Lady929 · 10/10/2022 20:22

Boycotting this thread (sorry)

I’m overdue my smear now. Last one was 2019 and the doctor managed to do it for me (I had to have half a bottle of wine, I still can’t believe she managed it) the first time I tried having one was excruciating.

I have vaginismus which makes internal examination/sex extremely painful. I’ve had a baby (by elective c sec) due to being scared of not being able to get through sweeps, internal efc during labour. I’m now past the 3 month post partum mark and due my smear. I haven’t even had sex for over a year, all my insides feel incredibly sore and the thought of the pain is scaring me to death, knowing they probably won’t even be physically able to insert the speculum and it will all be a traumatic waste of time ☹️ I’m scared I’ve got cervical cancer now anyway as my pelvis and back have been really hurting the last few days but in my experience not many health professionals are sympathetic when it comes to vaginismus.

has anyone managed to be sent to the hospital if the smear is unsuccessful at the gp?

please don’t message saying it would be worse to get cancer treatment, just go it’s nothing to be embarrassed about etc. I get point to the pain where it’s physically impossible to even get close to doing the examination and it’s so hard to find anyone in real life who relates 😢

J0y · 10/10/2022 20:32

I didn't know there was a test you could buy in a shop?? This hasn't become available in Ireland yet that I know of.

I have to buy a new bag to reward myself for having endured a smear test. Get up there, put your hand over your eyes, count backwards from ten thousand, nine thousand, Todds, Balenciaga, tom ford, celine, Saint Laurent, Gucci, Loewe, stella mcCartney, is it over yet!

You can do this with a lower budget tbh, the last time my reward was a coccinelle messenger bag.

MrsPnut · 11/10/2022 08:25

Lady929 · 10/10/2022 20:22

Boycotting this thread (sorry)

I’m overdue my smear now. Last one was 2019 and the doctor managed to do it for me (I had to have half a bottle of wine, I still can’t believe she managed it) the first time I tried having one was excruciating.

I have vaginismus which makes internal examination/sex extremely painful. I’ve had a baby (by elective c sec) due to being scared of not being able to get through sweeps, internal efc during labour. I’m now past the 3 month post partum mark and due my smear. I haven’t even had sex for over a year, all my insides feel incredibly sore and the thought of the pain is scaring me to death, knowing they probably won’t even be physically able to insert the speculum and it will all be a traumatic waste of time ☹️ I’m scared I’ve got cervical cancer now anyway as my pelvis and back have been really hurting the last few days but in my experience not many health professionals are sympathetic when it comes to vaginismus.

has anyone managed to be sent to the hospital if the smear is unsuccessful at the gp?

please don’t message saying it would be worse to get cancer treatment, just go it’s nothing to be embarrassed about etc. I get point to the pain where it’s physically impossible to even get close to doing the examination and it’s so hard to find anyone in real life who relates 😢

I would ask your GP to be referred to the gynae department. I had an examination under general anaesthetic as my consultant couldn't insert a speculum otherwise.
Mine is due to damage caused by treatment for vaginal cancer but the outcome should be the same.

Hopefully you can get some help for the vaginismus at the same time.

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