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Original poster

Part time Nanny?

11 replies

nannyquestion1 · 09/10/2022 21:43

I've nc for this because it could be quite outing.

I'm due to give birth to my third dd in a month. Third for me and first for DH. There's a huge age gap between this little one and my other DDs - youngest is 15.

Since I last had a baby I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'm completely stable but I take a LOT of medication to keep me this way, some of which is designed to make me drowsy so I need to prioritise sleep. Changing/cutting down meds isn't an option.

DH is a doctor and works long, demanding hours. He's determined to be as involved as much as needed, but I do worry about him burning himself out.

So - part time Nanny could be a solution? If you are one/have one, how does it work? Do they base themselves solely in the house? Do you get to pick the hours or do you take what's offered? What would people suggest as being the most comprehensive type of support in this situation?

Gosh - so many questions! Sorry. I've never had a Nanny before so I'm totally clueless!

I'd be very grateful for any advice.

OP posts:
IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 09/10/2022 21:46

You can have live in or live out (live out less common for part time but still doable)

You decide which hours you want and look for someone to fill them but if you have flexibility than that can be helpful

You could look at a maternity nanny for the first 6-12 weeks who would do nights if sleep is your priority

CatGrins · 09/10/2022 21:50

A mother help seems to fit the bill better if you are largely around and just need a hand rather than full sole care.

DownToTheSeaAgain · 09/10/2022 21:51

I have bipolar and we paid for night nannies after all my DC births. It cost a small fortune, we had to borrow to make it happen and we only did for a few weeks each time but was enough to get over the initial stages. After that it was all about routine and sleeping when I could.

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Original poster
nannyquestion1 · 09/10/2022 22:27

DownToTheSeaAgain · 09/10/2022 21:51

I have bipolar and we paid for night nannies after all my DC births. It cost a small fortune, we had to borrow to make it happen and we only did for a few weeks each time but was enough to get over the initial stages. After that it was all about routine and sleeping when I could.

That had crossed my mind, actually. How much did it cost, if you don't mind my asking? We're not short of money but not rolling in it - especially since I'm self employed and have had to cut down on my clients for the foreseeable future.

OP posts:
Original poster
nannyquestion1 · 09/10/2022 22:28

CatGrins · 09/10/2022 21:50

A mother help seems to fit the bill better if you are largely around and just need a hand rather than full sole care.

That's exactly it, I just need someone to help me, rather than actual, organised childcare. Yes, I will be around at the same time.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 09/10/2022 22:31

Choose wisely. Set clear boundaries and don't be too grateful or impressed. I had to have a nanny and she quickly became overbearing and extremely irritating.

kateandme · 10/10/2022 07:16

Well done for being so responsible op.and for knowing you need to be on that level of meds for yourself and child’s health.
do you have any mental health charities you have talked to previously or help?im only thinking because they might have better specific knowledge on this.of course those with bpd can be helpful on here too.
do you have help from support worker with any extra or key support you can be given after the birth anyway?

DownToTheSeaAgain · 10/10/2022 08:45

@nannyquestion1 at the time it was about £110/night. More for twins. However this was almost 20 yrs ago.

The other thing I did was get a cleaner to come more often. Once again ££ but was with it for preventing me getting really ill.

I still had puerperal psychosis and with the others PND but it was doable with a bit of extra support. My mum was living close at the time so that helped too.

yougotthelook · 10/10/2022 08:49

nannyquestion1 · 09/10/2022 21:43

I've nc for this because it could be quite outing.

I'm due to give birth to my third dd in a month. Third for me and first for DH. There's a huge age gap between this little one and my other DDs - youngest is 15.

Since I last had a baby I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'm completely stable but I take a LOT of medication to keep me this way, some of which is designed to make me drowsy so I need to prioritise sleep. Changing/cutting down meds isn't an option.

DH is a doctor and works long, demanding hours. He's determined to be as involved as much as needed, but I do worry about him burning himself out.

So - part time Nanny could be a solution? If you are one/have one, how does it work? Do they base themselves solely in the house? Do you get to pick the hours or do you take what's offered? What would people suggest as being the most comprehensive type of support in this situation?

Gosh - so many questions! Sorry. I've never had a Nanny before so I'm totally clueless!

I'd be very grateful for any advice.

Hi!
For a mothers help, nanny or night nanny, or a childminder, use childcare.co.uk
You can put your profile on there and wait for nanny's to contact you, or search for one in your area.
Make sure to put the hours you are looking for, plus days x
Good luck x

Original poster
nannyquestion1 · 10/10/2022 14:42

kateandme · 10/10/2022 07:16

Well done for being so responsible op.and for knowing you need to be on that level of meds for yourself and child’s health.
do you have any mental health charities you have talked to previously or help?im only thinking because they might have better specific knowledge on this.of course those with bpd can be helpful on here too.
do you have help from support worker with any extra or key support you can be given after the birth anyway?

Yes, I'm under the perinatal mental health team and I have a care co-ordinator (haven't needed any extra support so far though) and they become more involved post-birth because that's when the risks of relapse increase.

I don't have any family nearby, unfortunately. It really will just be me and my partner.

OP posts:
kateandme · 12/10/2022 06:56

nannyquestion1 · 10/10/2022 14:42

Yes, I'm under the perinatal mental health team and I have a care co-ordinator (haven't needed any extra support so far though) and they become more involved post-birth because that's when the risks of relapse increase.

I don't have any family nearby, unfortunately. It really will just be me and my partner.

Show quote history

I’m sorry they haven’t been there for you in between times. That’s typical awful from them.
can you get yourself a bit more ready with your partner.so putting things in place.small things like safe space or safe words for you tot use if you feel you need extra support.
can you trust in your partner if you feel triggered or like you might me feeling symptoms,and the reverse can he spot them in you?
do you have you helpful techniques.
anything you can get rest now before the baby comes.
relapse after birth is in no way inevitable.especially not if you’ve found new ways to cope with the illness.and medication of course is key to that in lots of cases.

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