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Original poster

Depression in teenage girls

10 replies

Daisylily · 09/10/2022 19:44

Do you have any experience of depression in teenagers and if so what were the signs and how did you get help?
worried sick about DD aged nearly 14.
have noticed that she’s constantly exhausted, finds social interactions draining, just not her usual cheery self. She’s had school friend issues with her “best friend” going off with a new girl who started in the class. I’ve spoken to school and they think she’s chatty with friends, school work is fine. DH thinks it’s teenage phase but I want to nip any issues in the bud. She won’t come to doctor to have blood test to rule out anaemia. Feel so sad for her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Daisylily · 09/10/2022 21:00

Anyone?

OP posts:

Roarsomemore · 09/10/2022 21:02

Depending where you are based, there may be a school counsellor available. Would only be helpful if it was something your daughter wanted to do.

Dappledapples · 09/10/2022 21:07

Book an appointment with the doctor.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 09/10/2022 21:10

Maybe try to arrange some 1 - 1 time? Shopping, lunch out, exhibitions, driving! Mine regularly spoke when we were driving - no eye contact.
She'll spot what you're doing so you'll need to hide any anxiety but making sure she's part of family life as well as getting 1 - 1. It may give you and her some time for things to naturally come out.

LivesinLondon2000 · 09/10/2022 21:11

I would definitely try and get her to a doctor’s for some blood tests just to rule out any deficiencies. Why won’t she go? Is she scared of needles maybe? Some bribery with a treat meal or similar might be in order to persuade her.
Other than that, I’d check the basics first - eating well, getting enough sleep (no phone in bed etc - my 14 year tries to bring theirs to bed so I have to constantly watch for that), enough time outside and exercise and friends.
Sounds like you’ve looked into the friends at school but how about activities or clubs outside school? Does she have any friends there? I think it’s always good for kids to have activities and friends outside school so that their whole identity and self-esteem isn’t tied up with how popular they are with school friends as that dynamic can change so much over time.
If you’ve checked all those things and she still seems not herself then I would seek professional help.

LivesinLondon2000 · 09/10/2022 21:19

Also meant to add symptoms of depression are very individual and what you’ve described might well be - or they might be something else. But if you’re worried (and you sound like are) I would definitely see a doctor.

Dacadactyl · 09/10/2022 21:23

Do you know what she is accessing online? I would check her phone. 14 year olds dont have privacy online in this house.

I would also make sure she had no access to her phone or computer after 9pm, make sure she has a sensible bedtime and decent diet.

I would keep her busy with extracurricular stuff or take her to classes at the gym with you.

CreakingatTheWhingers · 09/10/2022 22:08

Op you could be describing my DD who is almost 14 as well. One of my older children has MH issues related to his ASD so I have some experience in this area. DD has also recently been diagnosed as autistic. Not suggesting your DD is autistic by the way; however social anxiety particularly amongst teenage girls is a really common thing, sadly.
Does your DD's school have a pastoral care team at all? If yes, I would ask to speak to that team & let them know your concerns. If no pastoral care, the school will have a SENCO and they should be able to guide you further and will be aware of what, if any options, there are for counselling/referral services.
You can self refer to CAMHS but it's likely to be a long wait. I would also ring your GP practice and ask to speak to an appropriate person with specialist interest in mental health and ideally young people.
I would echo PP re trying to do some 1:1 things and also agree that if you want to talk to her to about concerns/worries, it's in a 'safe' space like the car, washing & drying the dishes or similar where it's less formal and less pressurised. My DS opened up much more in the car!

Original poster

Daisylily · 10/10/2022 13:02

Thank you everyone for your replies. I’ll look into all the suggestions. I just feel so tearful all the time. It’s my fault I’ve broken her by sending her to a private school far away (because at the time I felt it would suit her better), now she has hardly any local friends. School friends are few and far between.

OP posts:

LivesinLondon2000 · 10/10/2022 15:44

Please don’t beat yourself up about it. You were doing what you thought best at the time and maybe it didn’t work out as you expected but you did it with the best of intentions.

I would try to encourage her to broaden her friendship circle and/or range of experiences - maybe get involved with some clubs or activities outside school or even a new club at her existing school. If it’s a private school they hopefully have a good range of these.

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