DH's Noisy Wee

[sooozie15]

Every morning my DH wakes up and has a wee.. he obviously never has to get up in the night for a wee so wakes up with a full bladder and wees straight into the loo, he doesn't try and wee down the side to stop the noise so it is this thunderous waterfall noise that wakes me and my two DDs, EVERY MORNING.. is this normal or am i just slightly menopausal and massively irritable!!!

“Excuse me, you pissing like a fucking racehorse every morning is waking us all up. Waking up to the sound of you draining the main vein is frankly, repulsive.

“Either pad the bowl with tissue or do as the little boys and Germans do and SIT.”

That oughtta do it.

The entitlement of some men who think they’re free to do as suits them and to hell with how horrible it is for anyone else, is always astounding.

Thunderpiss! That’s exactly it.

DH has a tendency to do this above the room I WFH in. Has no clue at all how loud he is!

No it’s not normal. He needs to sit down.

Tell DDs that when they hear Daddy wee, they can get up and wait for him outside the loo, then they can take him downstairs and play with him until you wake up.

OMG!!!! This is what I recall as a child too- yet there was ALWAYS a fart in the middle of the loud wee 😳

How is he so close that it wakes up the whole house? Does he not shut the door?

Could he pee in the sink instead? That would be quieter.
Ugh, no!! Joke though I hope!

I have never heard this. If we have visitors, dh uses the en-suite but he shuts the door. I do however hear him get up in the night for a wee, mean to tell him to oil the hinge on our bedroom door and worry he needs to get his prostate checked.

@albapunk

You wrote, "men can't control the flow as such, in the same way women can."

Yes we can. Some men, as they get older, may not be able to, but most men can.

He should sit down

Do this.

OP having been awake for several hours and having just heard dd get up for a wee, a quiet, girly one, surely the flush is louder than the wee and if the wee doesn't wake you the flush will.

DH sits or kneels to pee- not so much to prevent noise, but as he says: pee splatters if you stand, and why should he let that happen or leave a mess when he can prevent it?

Ask him to sit down while having a wee so he doesn’t wake the whole house.

If it's his first wee after a nights sleep, he might be "pee proud", sitting down is then certainly not an option.

Bleck my father in law does this, then doesn’t flush the toilet so whomever is the unlucky person to use the bathroom first in the morning is greeted with the stench of his night time wee.

Why can’t he just sit, my partner does this and can sneak back in bed without me so much as stirring.

my partner was woken enough times by my fil to not want to inflict the same behaviour on others.

Door must be shut. And point it at the porcelain.
Ffs..If I need to wee in the night and I could be heard by others,I would put a few sheets of toilet roll in first..

Poor sod Make him piss in the garden

I'm thinking the same. I'm cringing. Some women might aswell just cut their husbands dicks off and be done with it

This is the rule in my German ILs house, no standing up weeing permitted at any time of the day! I do think that’s a bit extreme. My DH sits at nighttime because he uses the en-suite, basic consideration if you ask me.

I don’t see how politely asking someone not to make noise while you sleep is a problem. Or is your husband an asshole?

Ridiculous. All anyone is suggesting is that we can all show others a little consideration. It's not controlling to ask someone if they can make a reasonable adjustment to the way they do something.

Make sure you're last to bed, and float a square or two of loo roll on the surface to break the noise

I'm not buying the "men can't help it" excuse. My DH doesn't do this.

Eurgh, you’ve just given me flashbacks to living at home with my Dad OP! It used to irrationally irritate me SO MUCH!!