Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

So overwhelmed with STUFF

16 replies

MrsGamgee · 09/10/2022 17:56

I am in the middle of clearing out DD9s bedroom. She just has so much STUFF and we have no where left to put it.

I'm dreading Christmas as she has already made her list and I've no idea where it's going to go.

And when we try and go through some toys to donate some, she absolutely must keep everything! We don't have a big flat and her room isn't very big. Every space is taken by toys/books

Hrlp! /dressing up stuff/Stationary. I was cleaning out her desk and found the Next catalogue that she felt the need to keep 😑

Anyone else the same and how do you negotiate a toy clear out when they want to keep everything? Just do it when they are not there?

Also Lego, we have quite a few Harry Potter and Disney lego sets built that she has on display but we really have no more space for them and they look so cluttered. The thought of dismantling them and putting them in the huge lego box never to be built again just seems like such a waste. We haven't the room to store them in sets. Should I just bite the bullet and break them up? She does play with the sets but she just has SO MANY 😭

OP posts:
HighlandPony · 09/10/2022 17:59

I’m being rigid this year that the kids only get 1 present each from folk. Anything else can go back which whoever bought it. It’s beyond ridiculous. When I was wee you got a thing from your parents, a thing from grandparents and the rest just gave you sweeties in a selection box.

Cantthinkofanewnameatm · 09/10/2022 18:03

Will she notice stuff has gone? Given the choice most children will declare they cannot part with anything but if they don’t know….
If you have space under your bed, on top of a wardrobe or in the shed start with a few things in a box, hidden away. If she’s not noticed after a couple of weeks off to the charity shop they go.

porkandbeans · 09/10/2022 18:03

I can't help you with clearing stuff out as my DD has a toy and stationery mountain.

We put Lego sets in clear zip up bags with the instructions. Keeps them in a set but not out all the time. You can then sell them further down the line.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Silverbirch2 · 09/10/2022 18:04

My dd 9 is the same!
We've finally got her to part with a few bits- this is the deal if she wants new things for Xmas. But for Xmas I've encouraged vouchers, experiences, stuff for room rather than toys.
We have kego on display- she plays with them but no room for more so crossed off Xmas list.
Good luck!

MrsGamgee · 09/10/2022 18:05

HighlandPony · 09/10/2022 17:59

I’m being rigid this year that the kids only get 1 present each from folk. Anything else can go back which whoever bought it. It’s beyond ridiculous. When I was wee you got a thing from your parents, a thing from grandparents and the rest just gave you sweeties in a selection box.

I need to do this and be strict with it. I have lovely family but they are the "quantity over quality" type. One year for Younger DDs birthday I asked for money if family felt the need to give a gift, most family were fine to do that but made me feel a bit crappy, said it wasn't much fun for DD. But she was 3 and already has so many toys and again no where to put them as her room is already smaller.

My mum flat out refuses to give money as she always wants to buy something.

OP posts:
MrsGamgee · 09/10/2022 18:30

I'm taking advantage of her not feeling very well and napping on the settee to clear out some stuff in her room. Things like scrunched up paper, kinder egg toys, broken tops etc.

I would see if she would be happy for me to sell some of the better toys (LOL dolls, shopkins etc) to make some pocket money as she is very motivated by money 😁 but I just can't be bothered with time wasters on Facebook market place. I'd rather just donate them to be honest.

OP posts:
Flumpywoo · 09/10/2022 18:39

Omg I could have written the same post for my 8 year old girl and wish I could give you the right answer.

Might not be the right thing but I sold or gave to charity shops some stuff (e.g. Playmobil) because she had sooo many sets and wasn't playing with them all. When she realised months later she went mad but I explained why I did it and told her to work with me instead of keeping it all. She has now agreed to sell some Sylvanian families things if I give her the money from it, which I don't mind as they were gifts from grandparents, not bought by us, so she can benefit from it.

She still has way too much stuff e.g pens and fidget toys etc that look like a mountain on her desk, not to mention all the teddies on her bed/floor that stress me out. But I feel like soon I'll gradually be able to get rid of the last few big things, like Barbie stuff and remaining Playmobil, and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. So am trying to not think about it.

I tried the explaining about giving to those less fortunate etc (and she is good with that it is donating to a foodbank etc) but it doesn't work. She just holds onto everything! Even labels off of toys because they are apparently so cute. I gradually throw those as well when I find them buried somewhere!

I wish you all the luck and hope soMeone has better advice than me, but I feel your pain!

MrsGamgee · 09/10/2022 19:25

Flumpywoo · 09/10/2022 18:39

Omg I could have written the same post for my 8 year old girl and wish I could give you the right answer.

Might not be the right thing but I sold or gave to charity shops some stuff (e.g. Playmobil) because she had sooo many sets and wasn't playing with them all. When she realised months later she went mad but I explained why I did it and told her to work with me instead of keeping it all. She has now agreed to sell some Sylvanian families things if I give her the money from it, which I don't mind as they were gifts from grandparents, not bought by us, so she can benefit from it.

She still has way too much stuff e.g pens and fidget toys etc that look like a mountain on her desk, not to mention all the teddies on her bed/floor that stress me out. But I feel like soon I'll gradually be able to get rid of the last few big things, like Barbie stuff and remaining Playmobil, and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. So am trying to not think about it.

I tried the explaining about giving to those less fortunate etc (and she is good with that it is donating to a foodbank etc) but it doesn't work. She just holds onto everything! Even labels off of toys because they are apparently so cute. I gradually throw those as well when I find them buried somewhere!

I wish you all the luck and hope soMeone has better advice than me, but I feel your pain!

Progress is good, at least she agreed to selling some things! My DD also has a habit of not taking great care of her things, lots of her Sylvanians are worse for wear and I don't think anyone would buy them.

I've just sorted through the 2 boxes of Stationary and thrown every single crayon because they are never used, all the random lids and lidless pens, the multiple sharpeners and rubbers and loads of those bloody little pencils they give you at restaurants! I'm half tempted to throw the whole lot away and just buy one pack of nice felt tips and one pack of good colouring pencils, although with younger DD it wouldn't be worth it as she is the chief culprit for the lidless pens.

I can't moan too much about the children though, I'm just about to start going through my wardrobes because they are also awful 😶

OP posts:
theoldhasgone · 09/10/2022 19:28

I bought stuff off my kids. I said 'I'll give you £5 for this bag of cuddlies/set of lego/box of bits'. Sometimes it worked.

ImAvingOops · 09/10/2022 19:38

Ive just done this with DDs room as she is moving bedrooms.
I regularly throw out anything broken, but for all the cuddly toys and stuff she wants to keep, I bought a bed where the mattress has a gas lift mechanism and the whole of the divan is storage. You can get sooo much stuff under there - it's like a whole wardrobe worth of space. And the gas lift mechanism makes it easy to get to stuff.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 09/10/2022 19:41

I used to find midnight culls worked the best.

Goldenphoenix · 09/10/2022 19:42

My DD9 is just the same - absolute hoarder and so many little bits of crap in her room. Lots that she has made out of Hama beads, jewellery etc. I have to take a bin bag in when she isn't here because it's impossible to keep tidy with that much stuff in it

Greydogs123 · 09/10/2022 19:47

I’m quite lucky in that my dd has very narrow interests, she has played with the same two things for the last couple of years. She wanted to rearrange her room and I said that in order to do that we would need to get rid of one of her storage units and have a hood sort out and tidy up. She was really amazing and accepted that all the toys she had which she, literally, hadn’t played with for at least a year could be sold/given away. She got any money made from things which had been presents, we did a car boot sale etc. She was so happy when she had more space in her bedroom and she had plenty of space for the things she actually used. You need to find something which will motivate her to get rid. A car boot sale is good, if you can, as she can be involved with it and see the money coming in!

CafeCremeMerci · 09/10/2022 20:25

@MrsGamgee

I got accused of being Dana K White (on here) the other day, because I mentioned her a few times. I do because she is life changing.

no one needs to read my post if they're not interested and there's plenty of internet space available, I won't use it all up. Promise!!

Dana started off with a (secret) blog (a slob comes clean) because she wanted to be a writer but her messy house was holding her back. She started off anonymously so her original posts are under noony or a nonny something like that). She has books and a YouTube channel now with hundreds of videos. She has easy to follow methods and some in decluttering toys specifically.

it's all online if you want to take a look. She's Znot into minimalism at all, so don't be scared she's going to have you down to one pair of knickers & one teddy bear)

very basically you start by decluttering your own stuff! not the kids or partners they come to see the value of having less 'stuff' & more space.

Pick a room/cupboard/drawer...whatever... have a rubbish bag (preferably a black trash bag) and a 'Donate-able Donate Box' (meaning the box/bag you're putting things in you can donate too so you can hand it over without emptying it).

You start 'easy'.

DO MOT EMPTY THE SPACE!!

Lliterally just put actual rubbish in the rubbish bag & anything you can donate, without thought, into the donate box. It instantly transforms the space.

Then you take things that have a place in your home and put them where you would look for them first NOT where 'society'
thinks they 'belong' but where YOU would look for them first. If that's too full already, pull out some actual rubbish, or something to donate & go back to the original space you were decluttering.

Her theory is 'progress & only progress' (so the space only ever looks better, you can take the rubbish to the outside bin & your donate box to its designated space. And the space you were decluttering might not be finished, but it's better and there's not a pile of crap to deal with.

You can keep anything, you just can't keep everything.

Her 'container theory' really helps. Everything has a container, ultimately your house is the biggest container, it's YOUR house so you get to decide what size container you're happy with things taking up. How much 'stuff' is in your house.

do with your clothes, you decide, what wardrobes, drawers, rails, pegs, boxes YOU want to have in there. Let's use T-shirts as (they're easy to talk about! ) choose say a drawer where you want them to be, take out any easy rubbish, donate, lives elsewhere stuff dealing with each
item as soon as you pick it up.(so maybe throw out the wrapping, labels that are lurking in there, a tshirt that you don't like/doesn't fit into the donate box & put a jumper where it belongs, do that until you can't see any rubbish, instantly easy donated or items that have a home elsewhere (leggings/jumpers/handbag) then if the drawer closes & you're happy, you're done. If it doesn't close or you have more T-shirts to put in it, find one that can go in the donate bag or rag bag, and put the one in that you like more. ^^Keep going until the drawer can close nicely & there isn't a pile of T-shirts needing to go in there.

IF there is, you haven't reached ^^.

but if you feel you really don't want to throw or donate any others, you can choose to just do that anyway or allow T shirts another 'container' (drawer but you have to decide what you will get rid of to allocate that space to T shirts. One drawer might have jogging pants & you need to decide if you really need more t shirts than you need jogging pants. Something needs to go- which is it to be?

it's the same with kids toys 'DD this basket is for shopkins ok, which are your favourites, let's put those in first, then your next best ones etc until the basket is full. 'DD thise are for the donate box then' 'but mummy I want to keep this one' 'you can, of course you can, which one shall we take out if the basket to make room for it?' 'None, Inwant to keep them ALL!' 'You can, of course you can, shall we donate the train track instead then, then the shopkins can have that basket too'

it's not easy, but it does teach them they can keep anything they want to, but you don't have space to keep EVERYTHING.

Minimalist Mom has a different approach. Her kids are happy for her to do the decluttering. If they were mine I'd only do that on the 'no whinging if I declutter something you wouldn't have' basis.

& some of the declutteres, do the 'buy back' thing. Because they can't be bothered to try to sell the things, they buy them off the kids and donate them.(pennies not loads!!) it's not the way I choose, but whatever works in your house!!

Bottom line is, your house only holds SO much without it becoming too difficult to live in and ALL the family need to be respectful of the amount of space they're taking up and allowing 'space' in the house.

HighlandPony · 09/10/2022 20:29

I meant to say get her involved. Get her to pick out stuff to give away. I tell mine to pick things they had fun with at the time but are really too babyish for them now (I know, I’m using the desire to be more grown up to my advantage but it works) and tell them you’re taking it to a place where other kids who don’t have much money can have fun with it too.

Mummyongin · 09/10/2022 20:41

When it gets like that with my 6yo I do find I need to put a boundary down. E.g., every time we get something, she needs to find one she already has to donate to “make space”. Little and often works well so it’s easier and becomes normal. Talk about why donating things is good or use selling unused things to buy new as an incentive? My daughter has a good memory so sneaking things out is not a good idea with her. And doesn’t teach how to let go of “stuff”, which I struggle with so I want her to learn.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread