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Original poster

How to make 5 hours with in-laws today as bearable as possible?

23 replies

ThisIsMyLastResort · 09/10/2022 11:19

To say I do not like in-laws would be an understatement and the feeling is mutual on their end. There is a get together at their house today for an occasion (only immediate family who are all part of this terrible clan). This is going to be the longest, most awkward 5 hours of my life. Any tips on how to get through this? I have a young child who will fortunately help keep me a bit distracted.

OP posts:

CheezePleeze · 09/10/2022 11:21

You don't want to go and they wouldn't miss you.

Why are you going?

balalake · 09/10/2022 11:22

Oh dear you are not well, sorry you cannot make it today.

Amipreg1 · 09/10/2022 11:24

Why put yourself through it? This would have been me a few years ago but I've learnt to refuse to put myself in situations I don't want to be in just to make other people happy.
Life is too short.

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Aquamarine1029 · 09/10/2022 11:27

There is not a single compelling reason as to why you need to attend. Refuse to spend time with horrible people.

Toomanysleepycats · 09/10/2022 11:28

Do what my STBXH used to do at my mothers. Have a nap.

AllThatHoopla · 09/10/2022 11:28

I wouldn't do it. What's the point? They don't like you so why would they want you to be there.

You've got one hell of a long road ahead of you if you all just spend days together for the next thirty years. Surely it's best to put a stop to it now.

Original poster

ThisIsMyLastResort · 09/10/2022 11:29

The only reason I'm going is because I do not trust them around my child without me. Child is too young to communicate to me what was said and done. Husband doesn't recognise their dysfunctional behaviour as he's so used to a lifetime of it

OP posts:

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/10/2022 11:31

Will there be other children for your DC to play with? If so, take toys and books and set yourself up as the one marshalling the children’s play. Limited engagement with the other adults and nobody can accuse you of not being involved or being standoffish and rude.

But if the dislike really is mutual then I doubt your in laws want you there any more than you want to go. Can’t you just send DC with OH and drop them a text excusing yourself indicating that you all quietly know you aren’t a particularly wanted guest so are going to stand down.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/10/2022 11:31

🍷🍸🍹🥂

Mumdiva99 · 09/10/2022 11:31

I find drinking a lot....to the point where you can't hold your tongue and say loads of really inappropriate (but true) comments really aids family relations.

Or you could stay sober and bite your tongue and pretend everything is hunky dory when rhe whole family dynamics are actually fucked .....

Or just go out for a walk for a while....kid needs to go to park to burn off energy....

Aquamarine1029 · 09/10/2022 11:32

ThisIsMyLastResort · 09/10/2022 11:29

Keep your child home with you and your husband can go alone. Problem solved.

CheezePleeze · 09/10/2022 11:32

ThisIsMyLastResort · 09/10/2022 11:29

Oh that's a bit silly.

Just send your child with your DH and chill out for the rest of the day.

You can't spend 24/7 with your child trying to control what people say to or around them.

A580Hojas · 09/10/2022 11:36

It's 5 hours. Woman up!

Thinkingblonde · 09/10/2022 13:12

Smile and nod. Smile and nod or grey rock. Any negative comments towards you, just walk away, talk to someone else or be distracted by dc. Any negative comments towards dc, pick them up on it. Don’t rely on dh to do it.

pimlicoanna · 09/10/2022 13:21

@CheezePleeze your reply misses the point. She doesn't trust them around her child.

CuriousCatfish · 09/10/2022 13:25

If they don't like you then I doubt they will care if you don't go. Do you not trust your DH to keep your child safe if he takes them without you?

TidyDancer · 09/10/2022 13:30

What are the issues you have concerns about? Is there anything you can do to mitigate it? Could you instigate a walk maybe so you can all distance a little bit? I find being cooped up in a house more of a problem than being out and about together.

CheezePleeze · 09/10/2022 13:32

pimlicoanna · 09/10/2022 13:21

@CheezePleeze your reply misses the point. She doesn't trust them around her child.

Which is a bit silly considering her husband is going to be there and that she cant' keep her child away from them forever if she can't be there.

Unless they're prone to shouting 'Mum's a cunt' every visit, she need to make peace with the fact she can't micro manage this for the rest of her child's life.

MeowMeowPowerRangers · 09/10/2022 13:33

You're being ridiculous, surely your DH can look after your child? If he can't then the problem isn't then it's you.

Meltingsocks · 09/10/2022 13:37

DH needs to be trustworthy!

AcrossthePond55 · 09/10/2022 13:48

Not trust them how? Would DD be in actual physical danger around them? That would be the only reason I'd go.

If it's that they're racist, vulgar or the like, or they all get plastered and obnoxious and pick fights then neither DD nor I would be around them.

But if it's just that they aren't 'your kind of people' then perhaps you need to relax a bit.

What would your DH do if you refused to let him take DD?

Imogensmumma · 09/10/2022 14:10

Make a game out of it! Hear we out!

Think of topics they constantly talk about and take a sip of your drink (alcoholic or not, works with non alcoholic drinks too)

For example my IL’s can be PITA , constantly go on about COVID and the government ( and other things) they talk about COVID I take one sip , they talk about the government I take two sips!!! It amuses me and stops me screaming internally and externally, as long as you don’t end up too drunk if the drinks are alcoholic!

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/10/2022 14:14

Why are you going? Stay home with your child. Husband can go.

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