If you have an Xbox for your kids, how do you feel about it?

[flingingmelon]

DS 9yr claims everyone else in school has one. He wants one for Xmas. He has £150 saved and he will get Christmas money, so we could technically buy it himself.

However we bought him an iPad during lockdown and he's a bit of an arse when I limit screen time on that. (He gets plenty.)

Am I asking for trouble with an Xbox?

For background, neither DH nor I game.

He's a sporty child and he doesn't have any problems at school. He does have a habit of going off things though. Another concern.

X box was a lockdown purchase here. It’s subject to screen time limits but actually find it better than dd just watching mindless Disney/YouTube on tv etc.
We play games together, bond a bit, laugh a lot (mainly dd laughing at how rubbish I am).
She isn’t into Fortnite style games so isn’t playing anything too teenage/adult. It’s mainly been designing houses on SIMs, racing cars etc.

Am glad we went for x box rather than iPad.

I hate hate hate it. The DC love it of course. They had an XBox first to share, then it became one each after a birthday at the start of lockdown, they now game on PCs. It stops them wanting to do other things, have to drag them out the house for a walk.

They do get a lot out of playing online with their friends. They are creative and building and negotiating and socialising. Sometimes it sounds like the kind of world-building friends and I used to do with dolls (they wouldn’t like to know that).

They also shout and scream at each other. A lot.

Once the genie is out of the bottle it won’t go back in. I’d probably still get it if I had my time again but with very very strict times they can play right from the start. Lockdown did us no favours with limiting use from the start.

ds(18) got his x-box around aged 9.

He had other interests, went out with friends regularly (has always preferred this to xbox), did school work, and any revision required, visited family, did chores, was present at meals, or anything else going on in the house etc. and I had no problem with the xbox filling in the gaps - it allowed him to socialise with friends when the weather was crap and have a common interest with them.

We had the usual "learning opportunities" 🙄where he had to learn to not get too loud/excited/angry about games (Fifa was the worst!) and when he spent too much of his own money for little return. He agreed to (grudgingly at first) trying coming off an hour before bedtime on school nights as he was struggling to sleep and continued this when it worked. It had unexpected bonuses such as teaching him how to budget so he kept enough Christmas/birthday/pocket money so he could buy the latest Fifa and some Fifa points as soon as it came out each September instead of waiting for Christmas.

If they have enough other things going on in their life (which at 9 is mostly a parents responsibility to encourage) and don't get to the stage where they are always champing at the bit to get home/finish dinner to get back to the xbox, it is a great past-time and limiting screen time shouldn't be needed as it will happen naturally. I also find putting limitations on something can be counter-productive, it just makes them want it more.

Once the genie is out of the bottle it won’t go back in.

Like this phrase, and it is very true. You don't know until you get one if your child will see it as a past-time or will become obsessed with it. You will need to watch and manage both carefully and cleverly.

My 14yo has one, it's fine. I don't particularly have a strong opinion about it!

Both my DC have one and I’m fine with it. They enjoy their time on it and I have the Xbox family app so can control usage. Not that I do really as mine are pretty good, easily managed and great in winter.

Ambivalent. They rarely use it - they're 8 and 12. When they do use it, it's for Minecraft or other building games.

Totally fine with it, she never prioritised it.

Thanks all - much appreciated.

He has absolutely no concept of money so this sounds like it could be a good option.

I think it depends on the nature of the child really. Ds is 11 and has days where he uses it a lot and times when he doesn’t at all (and doesn’t really miss it). He is quite sociable so only plays a lot if chatting with friends. They’ve built some quite impressive Minecraft worlds together! He’d rather be in the park with friends. I work from home 2 days a week so it can be handy for him to connect with friends when it’s rainy. Weirdly I find not being too limiting with time on it (other than bedtime, mealtimes, activities etc) means he bores himself with it and it seems to be in a reasonable pattern of not being used too much on average. I know if I was limiting it he’d get obsessive.