Anyone grow up with teacher parents?

[Radiatorscold]

I know there will be responses along the lines of that was just your parents, not because they were teachers, but I do think there can be a few particular ‘themes’ for want of a better word to having teachers for parents.

There was a lot of pressure for my brother and I to behave well at school. My brother got a detention in Y8 for forgetting his cooking ingredients and my mum went absolutely berserk. Even really minor things were a big deal.

They always backed the teacher. I did find out some years later there were times they were concerned and disagreed with what had happened in school but they didn’t communicate this to me. I do understand why but it made me feel in the wrong.

Of course, they couldn’t be there at sports days and so on. I didn’t really mind this though as in primary school I was quite proud of having teacher parents. This changed in secondary

VERY pushy with schoolwork: too much so really. On the other hand, they were very encouraging with reading and we went on a few interesting holidays.

How did others find it? Interested as I am a teacher myself now although DH isn’t so hoping for more of a balance

My mum was a teacher, my late DH and I were teachers. And none of those things applied to me, or were things that we did re our daughters.
We supported our kids' learning but we didn't always back the school. Without being 'those parents' we did challenge some things and our experience meant that we knew when things weren't right, and advocated for our kids. And our kids knew we were doing so.

I certainly didn't expect my DDs to be perfect, or feel that in some way they were letting us down if they got in trouble at school. So yes, this is a 'your parents' thing, not a teacher thing, imo.

My mum was a teacher and my dad wasn't. Didn't have any pushyness from either of them about homework, it was just something I grew up doing (although it slipped a bit when I first started sixth form but Mum had left by then).

Didn't feel any pressure to behave at school either; I was one of several pupils whose parent taught at their secondary school and we were all of us just normal kids as far as I can tell, generally following the rules and not really getting into trouble.

Yeah I had the same experience as you, OP. Too high expectations and an energy that sometimes crossed the line from authoritative to authoritarian. They are far more chilled out now, retired from teaching!

My DM was a teacher & was exactly the same with backing the teacher. Ky wasn't really an issue as I was really well-behaved & a good student but there was one insane teacher (a nun) & my mother wouldn't support me at all & that upset me.

She was a teacher in the school I went to so clearly it was quite difficult for her.

Academic success was also prioritised but all of us were bright & academically achieved so it was ok. I really struggled with confidence & friendship issues & could have done with help there but I think that was often lacking in 80s/90s parenting.

So, in answer to your question, it sounds like it was just what your parents were like, and not all teacher-parents were/are the same.

It’s interesting as I’ve had anecdotally lots of tales about girls in particular ending up with eating disorders in response to pressure, either that or going off the rails totally.

Of course, no one is saying that is true of all teachers. But there are trends I suppose.

Hi, my mum was a teacher and she wasn't like this with me or my sister. Yes, she encouraged us to do our best but we were both good at some things, not so good at others and always supported us. Behaviour wise, we were both well behaved but I think that's due to our personalities but I suppose could have had something to do with mum being a teacher. I also wouldn't say she supported/agreed with our teachers no matter what - if she thought something was handled incorrectly by the school then she'd always say that.

In my experience of teaching teachers children I think some have experiences as you describe, and some the total opposite. Some of the most unruly little kids I know are teachers kids!

I make the point of not teaching anywhere near my DC, their school experience is for them not my career. I rarely mention to my DCs teacher that I am one, it’s not relevant info, at their school I want to just be ‘mum’.

Yeah my (single) mum was a teacher, and for 5 years of secondary she and I were at the same school. I think it was a huge mistake and I still feel like I missed out on certain things in a key stage of development (even as I hurtle towards middle age). Everything was reported back to my mother, even as a boringly well behaved, studious kid. She was also housemistress there so had 40 other teenage girls to worry about first so in some ways I was totally left to my own devices and in others I felt completely under surveillance. I’m sure it depends on both the parent and the child though. None of the other teachers kids (there were several of us) seemed to come out of it totally unscathed though.

There was definitely academic pressure as you say, and not much understanding of any difficulties.

My parents both worked in education and one was a teacher. I think they focussed a lot on behaviour management in their parenting and took great pride in us kids being notably well behaved, and this being commented on. They used lots of techniques that might now be recognised as negative, such as shaming, but because they got results, ie compliant behaviour, I don't think they realise that some of their approach was actually damaging. Obviously no parent is perfect and parenting has changed a lot over the years.

@LozzaChops101 my mum worked at my school during y10 and 11, I know exactly what you mean about missing out.

As a teacher parent I feel almost completely removed from my kids education to the extent that it makes me reconsider my job!
Can't attend any events. Not able to help out. Not home to help with homework. I think the job is so different now that most teachers wouldn't have time to behave like your parents OP

Yes, my DM was a teacher. Single parent. She expected high levels of good behaviour and good organisation and usually backed the teachers and school. Wasn’t until I was in the Sixth form and getting badly bullied by a teacher and she could clearly see what was going on that she stood up for me. I was astonished when she intervened.

But she wasn’t always on at me to study and she didn’t ask about or check my homework or interfere at all. Very hands off. Maybe because I was naturally quite swotty anyway and she had enough on her plate. But we knew she expected school work to be done on time, neatly and to the best of our ability. She would have been furious if she’d had a note saying I was mucking around.

She was a stickler for good handwriting and I’m still rather good at reading aloud 😀