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Normal 2yo behaviour or cause for concern?

9 replies

TimetoGoTed · 08/10/2022 11:37

Just checking in case I'm doing parenting all wrong or if this is completely normal. I'm prepared to be told to just suck it up...

My son is 2 and 3 months and is feeling like increasingly hard work to look after to the point I feel utterly despondent, tired and ready to cry.

He's always been a crazy energy ball and the type of toddler who's a bolter, runs round like the clappers the whole time, never sits still or plays "nicely", has to have reigns otherwise he'll kill himself sort of thing. It's exhausting but he's always been of a happy disposition.

Recently he was ill and was very unhappy. Overall he seems to be recovered, but his mood has not and not alongside his crazy energy he's now always frustrated, grizzly or angry most of the time. He's been hitting us and throwing books and toys, tipping over furniture, emptying out all his shelves in one swoop and generally getting really frustrated, much more than the expected tantrums. Crying every minute about anything and everything. The generally happy disposition has gone. Alongside this he's also started refusing his food, and only wanting snack food and kicking and screaming for each nappy change.

At nursery there are no reports of bad behaviour so I he seems to be fine there, but he's with me at home half the week and I'm totally fed up.

I'm trying the following:
Keeping him occupied, out of the house morning and afternoon
Lots of validating feelings but telling him we don't hit / throw
Trying to distract him
Lots of attention, trying to engage in playing with him
Cuddles

But it's not working.

It feels like more than the "normal" levels of toddler tantrums based on seeing other toddlers and speaking to other mums.

If he was still a baby I'd think he must be teething or something as it's like something is really bothering him, but he says he feels better.

Is there anything else I can do?

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 08/10/2022 11:39

Have you actually had a conversation with nursery about his behaviour at home and nursery ?

TimetoGoTed · 08/10/2022 12:17

No I haven't. He's only in part time. It has taken me a bit by surprise and I've been feeling really rubbish about it.

OP posts:
TimetoGoTed · 08/10/2022 12:32

Also when I have mentioned the odd thing to nursery in the past they always seem a bit clueless - like "oh no he's fine here" sort of thing.

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TimetoGoTed · 08/10/2022 13:01

Bumping in the hope someone can help

OP posts:
Sh05 · 08/10/2022 14:08

How long has it been since he was Ill? Do you think he's not over it properly and is getting more tired than usual. If he is then he's feeling overwhelmed and starts crying.

Dacadactyl · 08/10/2022 14:11

If he has any screen time whatsoever, I would totally cut it out. No watching anything on TV, on your phone, no TV on for you in the background if he is up etc.

Try that for a month and see if he improves.

Skinnermarink · 08/10/2022 14:16

If he’s not eating properly I think it might be having an impact. It’s very hard for them to behave when hungry but also they don’t associate moods and hunger. I would keep feeding him the snacks, for now, keep his blood sugars up, and see if it helps. It sounds like he burns up a lot of energy.

joeysparkle · 09/10/2022 07:25

Hi. Like the previous person I'm wondering if he's just not back to 100% yet. I was thinking constipation a lot. Even if it wasn't a gastro illness hes just had, constipation can be common after illness and it may be he's still having bowl movements but is backed up. Try extra fluids & fibre if you can to see if that helps. Good luck. ...Gentle tummy massage too. 'Lucy's angels baby massage' videos on yt are great.

TimetoGoTed · 09/10/2022 10:41

Thanks. I don't think he's constipated but the food situation could well be contributing. It's so tough because he's just refusing all normal meals and fighting not to sit at the table.

Let's see how he gets on this week and if he improves. He did sleep well last night thankfully.

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