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Original poster

Have you ever been in an induced coma?

34 replies

Squiff70 · 08/10/2022 07:07

Five years ago I was put into a medically induced coma on a critical care unit and put on life support. I was ventilated like this for nearly 5 weeks.

Whilst being in the coma, I had the most horrendous 'nightmares' imaginable. Months later, whilst still still recovering, I wrote a blog about some of them and some of them are so distressing I haven't been able to revisit that blog since. I remember some of those nightmares and they still haunt me to this day.

When we're conscious and have nightmares, they only go so far before we wake up. Terrified, confused, distressed and disorientated, but awake. In a coma, you can't do that. You're forced to endure the full severity of those awful dreams and can't wake up when they get too scary. I had so many, I can remember at least 12 different nightmares I had during that coma in great detail.

I had normal dreams as well as terrifying ones. Except they weren't normal as they still affect me now even though they weren't scary. For example, one dream was about my cousin being a vet. She was caring for animals in this dream. In reality, my cousin works in retail. Five years on, I still REALLY struggle to acknowledge the fact that she isn't a vet. I have to remind myself regularly that this was just a dream but any time I think about her, or see her, or speak to her, I am on the verge of asking about her veterinary career and have to stop myself before the words tumble out of my mouth because she'd think I had lost the plot.

During this coma I had so many dreams and nightmares that they still affect me now. I have 'flashbacks' of the nightmares - often when I'm tired and I see snapshots of those dreams I had back then.

Have any of you been in a medically induced coma and have you experienced anything similar? I'm really curious to know what others have experienced. I don't know what grade/depth of coma I was in though unfortunately.

OP posts:
Original poster
Squiff70 · 12/10/2022 07:08

icebearforpresident · 08/10/2022 13:51

Not me, but my mum. 6 or 7 weeks on life support, with a tracheotomy.

She never spoke of vivid nightmares like you have experienced, and has since passed away so I can’t ask, but she didn’t mention that this recurring dream that she had when I was young, suddenly came back again. In this dream we were walking through a forest near my grandparents house, I was running ahead then all of a sudden went down the wrong path, she would chase me but couldn’t catch up. Usually she would wake up pretty quickly but in the coma she just kept running and not getting any closer to me.

She also had ‘nightmares’ about Tina Turner! Due to infection control (it was a rare form of pneumonia) she was in a private room so we had been able to bring in a small stereo and some cd’s to be played. I had brought some music I knew she liked and my dad had gone and bought some more, including Tina Turners greatest hits. My mum hated Tina Turner but one of the nurses was a fan so the CD was on whenever this particular nurse was on duty. The only music she could remember hearing was Tina Turner, when she came around she made us throw the CD away!

She seemed to recover well from the experience but my Dad definitely suffered PTSD as a result of her illness, not that it was really talked about then (early 2000s). He tried his best but he was so quick to snap at the tiniest little thing. While she was in hospital our relationship took a nosedive, to the point where I moved in with a friend and her family, and never really recovered before he died a few years later.

I'm so sorry your mum had that experience and I'm equally sorry that you've suffered the loss of your mum since.

I relate to the music thing! During my stay in ICU, the family of another patient were playing ABBA songs relentlessly, over and over. I loved ABBA before then but still can't listen to it now as it transports me back. Equally, my ICU stay stretched over half of October and we'll into November and somebody was playing a Christmas album on repeat all the time. It drove me crazy but there was nothing I could do about it! I vaguely remember at least one of my nurses commenting to me that it was driving the staff crazy and was too far away from Christmas for that music anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Squiff70 · 12/10/2022 07:15

IrisJoy · 08/10/2022 14:33

hi
yes I have been in an induced coma. This happened to me. I had no idea it happened to other people. I had horrific hallucinations (this is how I have always thought of them). I thought the staff were killing people and washing them away and I would be next. I remember begging people to get me out of there but no one would believe me. It was seven years ago now but I still get flash backs occasionally. I was offered to go back to icu 6 months after, but I didn’t feel at all ready then.
I still haven’t been able to tell anyone what I felt because it sounds ridiculous. This is the first time I have spoken about it.
I feel for you op. It seems we are not the only ones

I'm so sorry you went through all that and haven't been able to speak about it since for fear of being disbelieved. It absolutely is real for the patient at that time and it's utterly terrifying!

I do wonder what our physiological response is during these nightmares and hallucinations. I'd expect they'd create a physical response such as increased heart rate. If so, do the staff perceive that to be physical rather than psychological and do they admitted drugs to try to rectify that increased heart rate? Does that make things worse for the patient?

So many questions. Please believe me, I 'get' it and believe you entirely. I do wonder if some of our experiences are partly our bodies' way of trying to make sense of what's going on but under that level of sedation and in a critically ill state, our minds are unable to grasp the true concept of what is happening and makes up it's own 'stories' to try to process it and make sense of it.

OP posts:
BrilliantGreenFlamingo · 12/10/2022 07:23

God that sounds absolutely terrifying. Interesting point about the physical response to the nightmares. It must raise your heart rate.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Sleep
Original poster
Squiff70 · 12/10/2022 07:25

Thank you all of you so much for your replies. I've read them all and taken on board your comments even if I haven't replied to you directly. It's very interesting to hear about these experiences from an ICU staff member's perspective. The explanation of sedation being titrated was very helpful.

One thing to add was the patient diary thing. I did receive a patient diary. I asked for it a year after my admission when I returned to ICU as a former patient to take a gift hamper for the wonderful staff. The staff member who I remember looking after me the most wasn't there but I would love to see her again and have a chat even though she probably won't remember me or my specific case directly. ALL the nurses who cared for me were absolutely wonderful and the case was world class. I my heart has broken for all NHS staff but particularly ICU staff since the beginning of the pandemic and is ongoing.

My patient diary has about 14 or 15 entries and one photo. Most of the entries were written by my parents from their visits and were very much non-medical. They basically just chatted about their day and wrote that my dog and rabbits were being well cared for by them etc. The nurses did make a handful of entries but didn't put much medical info in there at all. Their entries tended to be relatively light I'm content, such as "we've just changed your bed and turned you and you look very comfortable now. You are doing so well" etc. It doesn't give any more specific medical information than that.

OP posts:
Shitfather · 12/10/2022 07:25

No experience, but wanted to thank you for sharing yours. I’m sorry you experienced this. I had never given this any thought, but your post has taught me something. Fascinating to read as an outsider, but utterly horrific for you to have experienced.

OnOldOlympus · 12/10/2022 08:18

I am surprised that the person upthread who said they are medical had never heard of this, it’s a really well-recognised phenomenon. I do think the nightmares you experienced would probably be considered to be delirium.

I do wonder if some of our experiences are partly our bodies' way of trying to make sense of what's going on but under that level of sedation and in a critically ill state, our minds are unable to grasp the true concept of what is happening and makes up it's own 'stories' to try to process it and make sense of it.

This is basically the theory we have as to why patients have these frightening recollections. They are trying to make sense of the situation, like how you describe the diver cutting your neck. I would definitely recommend getting in touch with the ICU team and arranging a meeting, and the ICU steps charity mentioned upthread.

I hope you can get the answers you need!

Destiny123 · 14/10/2022 02:52

Squiff70 · 12/10/2022 07:25

Thank you all of you so much for your replies. I've read them all and taken on board your comments even if I haven't replied to you directly. It's very interesting to hear about these experiences from an ICU staff member's perspective. The explanation of sedation being titrated was very helpful.

One thing to add was the patient diary thing. I did receive a patient diary. I asked for it a year after my admission when I returned to ICU as a former patient to take a gift hamper for the wonderful staff. The staff member who I remember looking after me the most wasn't there but I would love to see her again and have a chat even though she probably won't remember me or my specific case directly. ALL the nurses who cared for me were absolutely wonderful and the case was world class. I my heart has broken for all NHS staff but particularly ICU staff since the beginning of the pandemic and is ongoing.

My patient diary has about 14 or 15 entries and one photo. Most of the entries were written by my parents from their visits and were very much non-medical. They basically just chatted about their day and wrote that my dog and rabbits were being well cared for by them etc. The nurses did make a handful of entries but didn't put much medical info in there at all. Their entries tended to be relatively light I'm content, such as "we've just changed your bed and turned you and you look very comfortable now. You are doing so well" etc. It doesn't give any more specific medical information than that.

Feel free to ask to meet them if still there. If you were there a while sure they will remember you, I have patients from 8yrs ago on icus I used to work in that are imprinted forever. I love when trache patients are given speaking valves or have the trache removed and can finally 'meet' their voice. Funny how we make assumptions on accents in our head, had a few like oh I didn't realise you were than northern sounding hehe

Best wishes hope the team can help x

Oblomov22 · 14/10/2022 22:42

Is that not of concern OP? That's there's so little data from nurses, and it's all your parents. Does that not seem odd. Are you going to follow it up or are you going to let it go?

Btw, not that I have any recollection, but I was in a coma. When I was diagnosed as a diabetic aged 1.5, I was taken from Kent where we lived to Guys. I was in a coma for atleast a few weeks, I'm sure.

Destiny123 · 15/10/2022 10:08

Oblomov22 · 14/10/2022 22:42

Is that not of concern OP? That's there's so little data from nurses, and it's all your parents. Does that not seem odd. Are you going to follow it up or are you going to let it go?

Btw, not that I have any recollection, but I was in a coma. When I was diagnosed as a diabetic aged 1.5, I was taken from Kent where we lived to Guys. I was in a coma for atleast a few weeks, I'm sure.

Def not a concern. The nurses purpose fundamentally is making patients better/drug admin/care etc etc, if they have time to write a diary above and beyond that, then that's fab (we don't do them for any of our short stay patients at all)...but please don't moan at a lack of diary!

(It's not a source of data, that's what clinical notes are for - we use diaries to help patients fill blank spaces of memory like today we took u for a ct scan, today we met your family/dog in the gardens - we don't tend to update diaries on days family have written in them often too

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