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Tips on stopping ADHD son lashing out

2 replies

Babadookie · 07/10/2022 21:44

Have 4dc, one of whom is 9 and has ADHD. His symptoms are mild enough (thank goodness), but he has had problems with controlling emotions and lashing out in the past. However, we've done lots and lots of work with him on it, as have his school, and he has gotten quite good at controlling it and calming himself down.

However, he has always bickered a lot with his sister who is 3 years younger. I have no idea why, as she is the most chilled out non-argumentative child who does no harm to anyone. But for some reason, she sets him off (or rather, he feels set off by her), and he sometimes lashes out impulsively in response. For example, this evening, she was making noise while they were watching TV, he told her to be quiet and when she didn't, he shoved her and she fell off the sofa and hurt her side quite badly.

We've tried talking to him, pleading with him, punishing him, taking his favourite things away, nothing works. The thing is, he can control himself fine with kids outside of the house, and even with his other siblings, and is generally a social and friendly child.

Would love any advice please because I'm at a total loss.

OP posts:
springhassprung22 · 11/10/2022 16:23

Honestly, that sounds like a "normal" sibling reaction to me rather than something necessarily to do with your DS' ADHD. Why didn't your DD stop making noise when he asked? That's the kind of thing my DCs argue about (eldest suspected ADHD), and if one shoved the other I would of course tell them off, but I would be understanding about one irritating the other.

Soontobe60 · 11/10/2022 16:29

As one of 5 siblings, it sounds very normal! However, be mindful that you don't excuse his aggression as being down to ADHD. Blaming his sister for not being quiet isn't on.

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