Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

Will Police/ Social Services be called?

20 replies

TheWorstThings · 06/10/2022 07:13

Last night me and DH had a blazing row and I’m ashamed to admit it was in front of the DC. DC burst into tears which stopped it as we realised how awful we were behaving. (They where in a different room and we didn’t realise they could hear us. No excuses whatsoever).
Anyway we both said some pretty awful things and where both a bit sweary. The walls are paper thin, I’m mortified at the thought that the neighbours heard it all.
If they call the police/ social services what is likely to happen?

OP posts:

Ell95 · 06/10/2022 07:16

Nothing, deny there was any arguments and try to not argue infront of the children again- we've all been there, no judgement

GrazingSheep · 06/10/2022 07:17

How old are the children ?

LemonySippet · 06/10/2022 07:21

Ell95 · 06/10/2022 07:16

Nothing, deny there was any arguments and try to not argue infront of the children again- we've all been there, no judgement

Don't gaslight people who are trying to help your children, that's silly. Own up, apologise, say how ridiculous you were being and that you recognised that and you stopped and apologised to the children as well as to each other (I presume you did?) and it won't happen again.

PandaOrLion · 06/10/2022 07:21

IME, if police were called they would have come by now. They’d chat to you and then they’d contact school and have a multi agency phone call that I can’t remember the name of. So police, a social worker and the school DSL (from each school if children are are more than one) speak about any concerns they have. 99% of the time there are no concerns so it would be agreed no further action needed. If there is action needed then that is delegated out - DSL checks in with children, social worker agrees to visit you etc.

PinkButtercups · 06/10/2022 07:21

No one can say yes or no.

Depends what was said and if they think there is a safeguarding issue at home.

Original poster

TheWorstThings · 06/10/2022 07:22

9 and 7. We where upstairs they were downstairs the eldest came up and burst into tears and begged us to stop it. We both apologised to him and each other. But it must have sounded really aggressive/ scary for DS.
DH has just been laid off and stress/ worry levels are high.

OP posts:

Bizzyone · 06/10/2022 07:28

Ell95 · 06/10/2022 07:16

Nothing, deny there was any arguments and try to not argue infront of the children again- we've all been there, no judgement

Worst advice possible - they will speak directly to the children and if they know youre lying its a red flag. Just be honest and accept school might keep an eye on things for a bit, or you might be offered extra support, or nothing may happen. Just dont lie about it, if its genuinely a one off argument as you described.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 06/10/2022 07:29

it depends on your neighbours

Original poster

TheWorstThings · 06/10/2022 07:30

If they had been called would they have come by now? This happened at about 7pm last night for about 10 minutes.

OP posts:

icelollycraving · 06/10/2022 07:42

If they thought you, your husband or children were at risk, they’d have been there by now.
Don’t beat yourself up about it but learn from it. If stressed, rows can happen. Children hear more than many adults realise.

Blueblell · 06/10/2022 07:46

The police would have come at the time of the argument if they had been called. Lots of people argue and it sounds like you are both reasonable enough people to stop at the sight of your children being upset by it.

Put it behind you and work out how to prevent it from happening again. That is all you can do.

AnnieJ1985 · 06/10/2022 07:47

I don't think many people would react to a once-off short argument, early evening, between the couple next door, by calling police. People fall out with their OHs, it's allowed. It is shitty for the kids to hear, but if managed correctly, kids should be reassured that mum and dad are OK, we just got a bit cross, we are sorry for upsetting you and for it being scary etc.

Was it really a once off, and only 10 mins?
Or has it happened a few times now and something has been said that makes you think you've been reported?

eyeteevee · 06/10/2022 07:55

What were you arguing about that you are concerned the police will be visiting?

MsSquiz · 06/10/2022 07:55

This happened to SIL & BIL when he was screaming at their 10 year old who has ASD. Child was shouting "no daddy, stop it" repeatedly, SIL trying to get him to stop. Neighbour called the police.
SIL told the police that it was just so loud due to child's ASD and the police were satisfied with that.

(She has now left him)

Original poster

TheWorstThings · 06/10/2022 08:08

We were arguing about money and lack of it. I am worried because it got quite nasty (verbally) with name calling and swearing. I also have severe anxiety so tend to worry about things and overthink what could happen. We both scared ourselves with how unkind we were to each other I think.

OP posts:

Quitelikeacatslife · 06/10/2022 08:19

You need to both keep talking this through with your DC as will be unsettling for a while. They probably need to see you ok together too if you can be, family film night or something. Don't underestimate the impact on them .

Cm078 · 06/10/2022 08:22

Probably nothing. Police would have been there by now with kids present and I doubt your neighbours will ring SS for one row. If they did and they came to see you chances are it will be fine. Arguments happen they will just want to make sure the kids feel safe and are at no risk of harm.
I grew up with parents rowing, it was horrible. Much better when they divorced! (Not saying you should)
At least you have learned from it and hopefully won't let that happen again. Don't worry OP.

nonono1 · 06/10/2022 08:25

I should think most people have been there - I know I have! What with the cost of living crisis it’s a very stressful time. It’s horrible when it happens but you clearly love your kids. Take it as a lesson, use it as motivation not to do it again, put it behind you and move on x

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 06/10/2022 08:26

Even if the police or social services did turn up, absolutely nothing would happen for one short argument. Things have to be unimaginably bad before social services will do anything, if you’re worrying about one argument then things are clearly not bad enough at your house. Don’t do what a PP said though and lie, just explain what happened.

Unicorn717 · 06/10/2022 08:46

If the neighbours had called the police worried, they probably would have came by now especially with kids in the house. If it's a one off I wouldn't worry as much but would make sure the kids were okay/ show them it won't happen again.

Flip