'Those who ask, don't get'

[eyeteevee]

I heard this a lot growing up, I don't remember who by, so it could have been a common phrase but equally could have been isolated.

It would not have been said to me because I never spoke up as a child and definitely wouldn't have asked for something.

Does anyone remember it?

Also, is this not a really odd way to act towards a child? Nowadays we encourage communication but this has a tinge of 'children should be seen and not heard about it'

Yes - if DM said 'I want doesn't get', it was just to get us to ask politely "please may I have" rather than demanding.

I say it to mine. Always in relation to fights over who sits where in car, who gets the only screen first and who sits beside me. I usually adjudicate but sometimes I’ve fucking had enough. Especially when they start ‘baggsying’ hours in advance. They wake up and the first thing they say is ‘I’m having the screen first at 5pm mummy’. At fucking 7am.

so sometimes I lose it and say ‘whoever asks, won’t get’!!!

I was brought up with "I want, never gets"

I have used "those who ask don't get" at work. Only in regards to our rewards system "Miss, I've been good today, can I have a credit" etc, I reward to those who I feel deserve it but there's still a small number of students who will try and pester me for one which entirely defeats the purpose of the rewards system.

typed a full reply and MN crashed

yes OP, I remember it from primary school, phrased as you said.

Yes - I want, never gets.
But in relation to asking nicely for stuff rather than stamping your foot going ‘want, want, want’

If you ask, you don't get was used a lot on us as kids. You couldn't ask for an ice cream or a souvenir or a top or sweets as that would automatically mean you would definitely not being having the desired thing. You had to wait to be offered.

I agree it's not a great lesson for adult life though I suppose it does make you less grabby and materialistic.

I remember "I want never gets", ie say "please may I have" rather than "I want".

I wasn't explicitly taught that asking is wrong in the sense of your OP, but there are definitely unwritten rules around it. Eg I would normally wait to be offered food or drink rather than asking for it as a guest, and you'd offer the last biscuit to others first, or more likely just leave it there, rather than simply asking if you may have it.

I remember it as ‘I want didn’t get’.

My entire childhood was rules like this.

‘It’s rude to ask’
’Don't speak unless you are spoken to’
’No means no’
’Manners first’

I was a very quiet child 🤣