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Original poster

Any Dentists on here that could advise about ds5's tooth? Photo included

26 replies

WorriedandSkint · 04/10/2022 18:49

Ds had toothache 2 nights ago. I checked in his mouth and could see the filling he had 3 months earlier had fallen out. Took him to the dentist today and I'm really unhappy with the options we've been given. The dentist looked in his mouth for about 5 seconds and said the tooth is dead and he has to come back next week for local anasthetic and extraction. If that doesn't work or ds cant handle it, then they refer to hospital for general anasthetic but they will remove every tooth that has decay so at least 5 teeth in one go.

Every question I asked was met with a sigh and eye roll and a 'take it or leave it attitude'. This dentist is really rude and no bedside manner so I'm really worried about an extraction. Ds has additional needs so pulling a tooth or going under general anasthetic for several teeth will be traumatic.

I've booked him in for a second opinion with a Bupa private dentist. Just the consultation is £90 and I'm a single parent so the actual treatment is going to break me. I feel a bit desperate and just want to be sure that I've exhausted every option to save the tooth before taking him for extraction. Thank you if you got this far 😔

OP posts:
catlovingdoctor · 04/10/2022 18:58

Not unusual to extract multiple decayed baby teeth; as they will shortly have permanent ones in to replace them.
I can't attest to the dentist's manner so can't comment on that.
What is the significance of them having only looked for "5 seconds"? They are a trained, experienced professional. They know what they are looking for.
I agree the tooth in question is grossly carious and in a paediatric patient extraction is a reasonable treatment.
It is quite usual to refer to the hospital for multiple extractions under GA...although ultimately the problem is a result of inadequate oral hygiene and excess sugar in the diet. (I think you mentioned 5 teeth?) That responsibility falls with you as the parent...

Choppies · 04/10/2022 18:58

If it’s the ‘D’ then seems like they are giving the only realistic options - can’t tell if it’s ‘dead’ from this photo but I’m assuming the dentist took a brief history and had a better view of it.

Unfortunately the options aren’t ‘nice’ but I wouldn’t pay £90 to be told the same thing in a slightly nicer way. waits for extraction under GA are really long (5 usually too young for sedation but not always) and they do have to take out all the problem teeth to avoid repeat GAs….

LIZS · 04/10/2022 19:01

Is there a cavity on both teeth? If they refill will it stay in and would ds tolerate it?

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Dental health
Original poster
WorriedandSkint · 04/10/2022 19:07

waits for extraction under GA are really long

But what if the child is in pain? This is my first experience of anything more than a filling so the procedures are all new to me.

OP posts:
LimpBiskit · 04/10/2022 19:21

This is caused by poor oral hygiene and too much sugar as already said, unless there is an underlying cause such as hypomineralisation(even with that it is still parental responsibility to be extra vigilant) but that's not apparent from the photos. At 5, its your responsibility to ensure that your child's teeth are well looked after. Whatever remedial treatment is offered, it is going to be traumatic and moving forward, I'd suggest better monitoring.

Feathe · 04/10/2022 19:23

WorriedandSkint · 04/10/2022 19:07

waits for extraction under GA are really long

But what if the child is in pain? This is my first experience of anything more than a filling so the procedures are all new to me.

They get in line with all the other people in pain waiting on the long GA lists, as awful as it is the nhs hospital wait lists for dental things has exploded since covid Confused
Hopefully the dentist can dress it to keep your little one out of pain.

caz198917 · 04/10/2022 19:23

I'm not surprised the dentist had that attitude to be honest! This many cavities at 5 years of age?! Please improve your sons dental hygiene for the sake of his future teeth

Original poster
WorriedandSkint · 04/10/2022 19:30

I'm well aware of the cause, and feel almost suicidal with the guilt of it all. I'm trying to do the best thing moving forward.

OP posts:
countvoncount · 04/10/2022 19:38

Rather than the dentist being rude, I would think that it was more exasperation with a 5 year old with a mouthful of decay, and a parent questioning their clear advice as to what the available options are.

2bazookas · 04/10/2022 19:40

Ds has additional needs so pulling a tooth or going under general anasthetic for several teeth will be traumatic.

Remind yourself whose casual "take it or leave it" attitude to your sons health, has inflicted this trauma on him.

Who couldn't be bothered to spend five minutes looking after his teeth?

It wasn't the dentist.

Workyticket · 04/10/2022 19:41

WorriedandSkint · 04/10/2022 19:30

I'm well aware of the cause, and feel almost suicidal with the guilt of it all. I'm trying to do the best thing moving forward.

You're trying to get him sorted so thats good.

I'd follow what the dentist says. Cancel the £90 appointment

Bobbybobbins · 04/10/2022 19:48

Some really unpleasant responses on here OP. I have two DS with severe learning difficulties and if you are not in that position it is hard to understand how difficult visiting the dentist and oral hygiene can be.

Choppies · 04/10/2022 19:56

Yeah unfortunately the waits for GA are really long even with pain - lots and lots of kids in the same situation and all have pain on and off during the wait. If you feel strongly please write to your MP and let them know the government needs to increase dental provision so kids aren’t left in these situations - political pressure is the only way to improve access (unless the whole population magically improves their brushing and diets but history tells us that ain’t gonna happen).

Afterfire · 04/10/2022 20:03

caz198917 · 04/10/2022 19:23

I'm not surprised the dentist had that attitude to be honest! This many cavities at 5 years of age?! Please improve your sons dental hygiene for the sake of his future teeth

Oh do shut up.

Its not always easy to brush or look after the teeth of a child with sen. Not to mention they often have very restrictive diets - which is a whole different topic in itself- which can cause a lot of issues but trying to change that can result in not eating at all (and in extreme cases, peg feeding).

If you can’t be kind just scroll on. The op doesn’t need your judgement.

Original poster
WorriedandSkint · 04/10/2022 20:04

Thanks everyone. Reading the responses has made me feel utterly, completely like shit but deserved in this case. I'm not a terrible mother. I brush ds teeth twice per day, dd is 8 and not a single filling. I'll step up the oral hygiene even more with ds.

I posted more to learn about the treatment options than get a kicking for ds's teeth but this is mumsnet so to be expected. Off to cry in the bathroom now.

OP posts:
UpAgainAt3am · 04/10/2022 22:07

Dentist here. Depending on where you live, there may be a special care dentistry department that your delightful dentist can refer you to. These community dentists have more time allocated (on the nhs) to spend with kids and especially those with additional needs. It may be that the treatment needed can be carried out under local (I've taken a tooth out with local on a 3 year old before, it can be done!). Your dentist is right in one thing though, if your DC does have a general anaesthetic they will take out all teeth with untreated cavities at the same time, to prevent the need for future GAs. This isn't ideal, as it will affect the eruption part of the permanent teeth, some of which aren't due to come through till 11/12.
You could always ask to get a second opinion from another dentist at the practice?

MillyMollyMardy · 04/10/2022 22:55

@WorriedandSkint another dentist here. That tooth needs to be taken out, save your £90 and cancel the private appointment.
How did your ds cope with the filling? Is he seeing the dentist that you found unempathic or another one? I have taken a tooth out on a 2 year old- she really was amazing and children can really surprise you with what they can do. Clear and truthful explanations really help.
As @UpAgainAt3am said you may have a Community dental service locally.

caz198917 · 05/10/2022 09:09

@Afterfire love how you singled out my comment when they all pretty much said the same! You shut up 🤪

op I do you you manage to get him sorted, not nice for a child to be in pain. Have you thought about an electric toothbrush? It makes cleaning my 5 years olds teeth a lot easier?

Softplayhooray · 05/10/2022 09:56

WorriedandSkint · 04/10/2022 19:07

waits for extraction under GA are really long

But what if the child is in pain? This is my first experience of anything more than a filling so the procedures are all new to me.

If it helps, baby teeth come out very easily as compared to adult teeth, and I think that it tends to be a really fast assessment for a dentist to see that they're baby teeth, and to know that the easy fix is just to remove them as they will be falling out soon anyway! I think in this case (despite the crap bedside manner), the dentist is probably being fair and you are probably wasting the £90 consult fee.

Softplayhooray · 05/10/2022 10:01

Afterfire · 04/10/2022 20:03

Oh do shut up.

Its not always easy to brush or look after the teeth of a child with sen. Not to mention they often have very restrictive diets - which is a whole different topic in itself- which can cause a lot of issues but trying to change that can result in not eating at all (and in extreme cases, peg feeding).

If you can’t be kind just scroll on. The op doesn’t need your judgement.

Show quote history

I second this! Don't be nasty. Some people also have very bad enamel naturally and mineral deficiencies and that kind of thing and they get worse teeth easier.

OP you are a great mum, ignore the nasty comments.

Original poster
WorriedandSkint · 07/10/2022 13:48

So we went to the expensive appointment today and I'm so, so happy we did. The dentist was wonderful, kind and patient with ds, let him play with the chair and instruments, explained everything in detail and answered any questions I had. The appointment was 45 minutes long!

She also told me it's unusual to see so many cavities in such a young child and that his teeth are really bad 😔 She took x rays, wrote out a detailed treatment plan, gave me diet and nutrition advice for ds and explained how to properly care for the teeth at home with mouthwash and floss. She also said there is no evidence of infection in the tooth so not sure why the previous dentist prescribed antibiotics. She will extract the tooth eventually but first wants to build up trust with ds over a few appointments. He's going back to have some resin painted over the teeth to protect them and fill the cracked front teeth.

Honestly, it was everything a dentist appointment should be. My previous dentist made me feel like scum every time I went there and that I was annoying him by asking questions. We never got longer than 3 minutes in the chair unless it was for a filling, then we would get 10. That practice is in the process of kicking all the NHS patients off their books and going fully private so maybe the care will be better going forwards.

I still feel devastated for ds's teeth, but I could also cry with relief that someone finally cares.

OP posts:
Choppies · 07/10/2022 18:13

Glad you got a good outcome but in a supposed developed nation it shouldn’t only be kids with parents with spare cash that get decent care. PLEASE write to your MP about the challenges facing NHS dental access. It’s the only way things can be changed.

Original poster
WorriedandSkint · 07/10/2022 19:38

Choppies · 07/10/2022 18:13

Glad you got a good outcome but in a supposed developed nation it shouldn’t only be kids with parents with spare cash that get decent care. PLEASE write to your MP about the challenges facing NHS dental access. It’s the only way things can be changed.

You're absolutely right, it's awful that this is happening.

I really don't have spare cash, I work but get UC top up so this is going to be a massive stretch for us and I've already listed a load of stuff on Ebay to raise the funds. 5 years ago I wouldn't even have been able to do that as I was so skint and had nothing of value. I will write to my mp.

OP posts:
Luciena · 12/10/2022 16:42

My child had loads of decay and major cavities nhs recommended all 9 teeth to come
out. I breast fed him at night for the first couple of years also there is some evidence of a genetic component to decay developing in so
chikdbre But not others . I spent about 4 thousand pounds at toothbeary Richmond . They did an amazing job all his teeth have caps, they only has to remove 2 . they did a general and did an amazing job . I’m Europe they don’t have this pull em put approach and I was told this approach is in part due to saving costs . It cost a bomb but Its secondary and he is a really little kid already and I though this might save him
from getting bullied. I spoke to several dentists and teeth out is the nhs approach I was told by other dentists that there are benefits and drawback to each approach and either really is fine .! Hope that helps a bit . Toothbeary or similar specialist peadiatric dentist specialise in working with kids with sen

Luciena · 12/10/2022 16:43

He was 7 at the time .

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