If you work part-time & have school-aged DC

[confusedofengland]

What do you do in the time you are not working & the DC are at school? I'm currently feeling a bit guilty & restless & lonely, so wondered what the 'norm' is. If indeed there is any such thing!

I work 18.5 hours per week, on a 2 week rota. Week 1 I work 20 hours, Week 2 I work 17 hours. I always have Sunday, Monday & Tuesday off, then work some hours Wednesday, Thursday & Friday, plus every other Saturday. A public-facing, retail type job (not retail though).

I have 3 DC, aged 13, 11 & 8. DS2 has autism & ADHD & receives support at (secondary) school, so I would say similar to the 8-year old in terms of what he needs.

On an average day/morning/afternoon (depending on shifts) at home without them I usually do shopping, housework, dishwasher, washing, decluttering, gardening. The house is far from tidy though! Sometimes baking, sewing on Cub/Scout badges. Lots of selling on Vinted/FB. Occasionally (once every 3 weeks or so) meet friends or go for coffee by myself. I just have an overriding feeling of guilt, that I should be doing more.

They do lots outside school & I do all the afternoon school runs except Thursdays when I'm at work (mum has them) & I also do all the morning prep (up at 6.30, youngest leaves at 8.40, ADHD makes mornings hard). I also do my nan's shopping once a fortnight.

DH works full time. In the mornings when with, he usually gets up, makes tea, takes DS1 & 2 to school (30 mins round trip in car), goes to the gym then works 9-5. When he is in London he just gets up, showers & goes, by 7am.

I have also started to do a morning a week extra work, based at my parents' house (round the corner), as we need the extra money with everything going up.

Does this sound familiar or am I missing something, I feel like I am!

Forgot to say, I take the DC to pretty much all activities except football for DS1, as DH is a coach. So evenings are pretty much taken up. There are often playdates or parties when no activities.

Same stuff you do, but also some community voluntary work.

I was part time until fairly recently and I did pretty much the same as you. What else do you think you should do? All of that stuff needs done and when the DC are in school is the perfect time to do it as you can then spend more time with them when they are home.

I volunteer for some of the time, and I do the usual stuff that needs to happen in working hours but would be taking the piss if I did it during my part time working hours, like medical appointments, car MOT etc. Then meal planning, food shopping, laundry, batch cooking for the days I work.

Then things like making sure we have the best deal on car insurance, gas and electricity, shopping around for new boiler cover, doing the maths on whether installing solar panels would be good value, getting stuff on to Olio that we no longer need, sorting through outgrown clothes. All stuff we could manage without me doing, but life is better if I do them.

I find I can have a couple of hours on the days I don’t work to read or go for a walk if I’m efficient with the chores and errands. Though some weeks if DH is travelling for work or there’s some sort of issue I can spend the whole time sorting things out.

I work my hours as and when
4 dcs pre school to college age.
I tend to rush so example this morning i have 2.5 hours where all at school /pre school.
I came home. Hoovered top to bottom. Polished put a load in machine etc. Mopped my way out the door. Went to asda. Did shopping. By time I'm home floors dry. Unpack shopping. Peg the washing out that's just washed. Quick wash up then in 25 min leave to drive to pre school for dc.
Beds are all made b4 school run.

Thursday i have 3 hours so i need to clean car out take it to car wash after , get some paperwork done, mow grass if dry. And prob a top up shop.

I never have a day when they're all at school all day yet.

I am one of those who cant sit if something needs doing. And even when all done id think what i can do that saves dragging the dc, like collect parcel, go to post office, shop, etc

Honestly there has to be some "wiggle room" in the diary for the adults in the family, otherwise it is hard to pick up the slack when there's a problem?

I guess if you could spend some time making the family budget really slic. And maybe review your insurances, track performance of pensions investments, make sure Wills are up to date, make sure boiler service and car MOTs etc are booked timely, think about small maintenance jobs like painting or oiling squeaky hinges (currently on my To Do list so top of my mind!), putting air in the car tyres and topping up antifreeze.

I would say enjoy the slower pace as you may need to step up a gear eg if your gran is poorly or there's a household maintenance emergency.

at home without them I usually do shopping, housework, dishwasher, washing, decluttering, gardening. The house is far from tidy though! Sometimes baking, sewing on Cub/Scout badges. Lots of selling on Vinted/FB.

I was in this situation until recently, but pretty much as you say. I had 2 school days free per week (working long hours the other 3 days) and so realistically discounting school runs, I had about 2 x 5 hours. I made my breakfast, did some jobs, made lunch for DH and I (he works from home), did some more jobs then went to do the pick up and had sports to take them to after school on those days.

Main jobs those days include the food shop, washing dishes, washing/hanging/putting away clothes, hoovering, mopping, clearing out, selling, taking sold things to the post office, taking other things to the charity shop! Bigger cleaning jobs often still had to wait until the weekend as the day goes by so quickly.

I work part time with 1 @ yr 12 and 1 @ uni. No live in partner.
4 x 6hr days = 24 hrs a week, although it varies as I use TOIL to manage my workload. Currently trying to to limit to 3 days a week and use up TOIL & holidays - last week I did 32 over 5 days.

What I do when I'm not working varies, often I'll do a long dog walk with a friend, read, meet different friends etc.
See my parents for lunch sometimes.
Potter about the house quite a bit.
DIY & garden, internal decoration, refurbing some garden areas.
Housework & general life stuff - shopping, admin etc.

I'm usually out 1 or 2 evenings a week with my hobby, running ds2 about another 1 or 2 evenings and a bit at the weekend.
Spend time with my partner at the weekend.

I have one day off a week. I swim, do a bit of cleaning, try to tackle the garden a bit and chase tradesmen. Getting a roofer out is basically a full time job right now.

Similar to everyone else really. I do the school run, then go straight to swim.
So long as you and your DH are happy, don’t worry.
Working PT is also handy for school holidays.

I'd make sure housework was done, maybe batch cook some meals for when I am working at other times in the week, meet up with friends/family for coffee/lunch.. and other than that, chill the heck out! Watch TV, listen to some music, exercise.. you earn your living, you look after your kids. Never feel guilty for having some you time!

Om my weekly day off I do:
cleaning
cook ahead for the week - I hate the term batch cooking but I'll normally make at least one soup/curry for later in the week, and maybe make a soffrito base for something else. Prep veggies for crudites for packed lunches that week, make some savoury muffins.
errands - taking stuff for repairs, vets appointments, IKEA, prescriptions, wait home for tradesmen.

Then I go for a run, catch up on some reading. When the DC get in I spend time with them. Sometimes I catch up with paid work, if I'm particularly behind, or if I'd like to take that time back elsewhere in the week eg for a school appointment.

Obviously I'm aware that full-timers have to squeeze all that in around their jobs.

I work 2.5 weekdays per week.

On my half day I use the afternoon to see a friend for coffee, or just potter about.

I volunteer one morning per week in one role, and one morning per fortnight in another. Sometimes I take a nap in the afternoon. If I have a full day off I might go shopping, or run lots of errands, or just enjoy the peace, especially if I'm feeling introvert burnout!

I feel slightly better that most of you do similar to me! I think I just feel like I should be productive all of the time. Like a PP said, those who work FT still have to do these things, so I guess I feel lazy that I have half the week to do them! Also DH has, on occasion, said he would like to not be FT. But then he doesn't really do much around the house, so I think that evens it out. Not sure if he sees it that way, though.

I used to volunteer, but then that turned into my paid job, and I'm not allowed to volunteer there any more.

I generally meet up with whoever else is a sahm/pt with same days off. Have a coffee morning for school next week. Dc in primary school so perhaps that's a lot easier to fill the time. I also have a hobby that I do. I love the time off!
I have volunteered in the past and that was nice just to get out and about meeting people but I didn't really gel with the other volunteers so left that. I also like to help other mums pick up their dc from school when they're working etc and then I get to say hi at their doors happily and helps to make friends as well.
Today I baked a cake and had a FaceTime with someone else who's not working and now I'm doing my hobby.

I agree, it's good to have some leeway incase anyone is ill. I work around 17 hours in a normal term time week, but sometimes have extra freelancing for another 6-10, it depends. I go to exercise classes twice a week and play music with friends a couple of afternoons (I am a musician by training). In between we clean as we discontinued our cleaner this year and help asd child with school work as he is in Sen school and needs a lot of help, plus transport teenage child to his things. I also catch up with audiobooks (while cleaning!) and tv in the day if I have time as evenings are too busy to watch anything.

Much like others here...

Often a guilt - free run, on the basis that running in the daylight is good for my emotional health. And that gives me more energy to do the household jobs in evenings & weekends.

Sometimes I'll do big admin jobs, errands, sometimes some redecoration, etc.

Basically it's buffer time.

@rhubarb84 I think that's it, for our family I used to work ft but every time a dc was ill it was a case of using up more annual leave and then extra stress when hardly any annual leave left to sort holiday out. It's buffer time.

We've already had a week off school with sickness. It's too much when ft, in our case I can't 'earn up' to dh salary so we can't work it with him pt. I would happily do that if we could but dh is ok with it as when we both worked ft we were both worse off if that makes sense.

I work 3 days a week and have late primary aged children.

I do the food shopping, clean, go the gym, get dinner prepped, run any errands in town. I also relax, read or watch a bit of telly!

I like creative writing, I do work from home gigs and build up my profile there. I take courses, go out with friends, and I've done amateur theatre. I also love to rest and binge a series.

Do you not think you deserve a rest? You do, plus if you don't rest you can't do the best job at all the other stuff. You're a human being and you deserve and need downtime.

Sounds like your husband is really quite lazy, so if you worked more hours when would all the housework, life admin and running the kids around get done?

I don’t really have free time while dc is in school. I drop off, go to work, then pick up. Any excess time gets taken up by either my or dc medical appointments. In the rare weeks that doesn’t happen, I use it for art studio time.