What hobbies could my unsporty ( dyspraxic) DS11 try?

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DS11 loves being active, but he is not, and never will be conventionally sporty. He’s at a loose end on Saturdays as his mates all do sports and his sister is at music school. He has developmental coordination disorder and ADHD which makes competitive team sports really hard for him. Performance and drama is tricky as his dyspraxia is also verbal. In fact, anything competitive is hard as he will often lag behind, and he’s very aware of this. This is unfortunate as about here there’s a huge emphasis on kids doing rugby, football, cricket and tennis. I’m sure there are alternatives but I
need inspiration to know what to look for.

He’s a kind, sociable, bright chap, if a little lacking in self belief. He enjoys golf (only the driving range) and is an okay skier, also loves sci-fi/ fantasy and Scouts.

Any ideas of a hobby or activity he could try when all his mates are tearing around the football pitch on a Saturday? I’m happy to join in, drive him there or support him in any other way.

My son’s basketball club attracts sporty-but-not -football lads, including those who have adhd/autistic.

Alternatively, as others have suggested - junior golf lessons, sailing, judo etc.

My dyspraxic DD took up running when she was in Y8. Her squad run on the track in the summer and cross country in the winter. It's been really good for her physical fitness and her mental health and outside of training sessions she can throw on a pair of trainers and go out for a run.

My son is strangely quite good at skateboarding:) it’s really surprised me but I think the low pressure approach, lots of practice at the same actions and sort of positive attitudes of peers and adults celebrating each other’s new ‘tricks’ or achievements is working really well for him. Pleased we could find something for him to enjoy. Will look into climbing for him after reading this thread :)

Skiing or snowboarding? Is there a snow dome or dry ski slope near you? They will probably have a junior racing team.

If he is a competent skier, he will probably take to skating/skateboarding easily. Ice hockey or street hockey?

Fencing?

Ski slope
horse riding
parkour - lots of opportunities to launch yourself off things with no competition aspect, massively confidence building with a ‘you can do it’ type mindset instilled in them by instructors
fishing

What about both of you joining a gym? Kayaking club. Water polo. Underwater hockey (Octopush). Sports (other than regular swimming) in the sea/pool are good as everyone is ungainly and movements are slower. Lifesaving club, working towards a lifeguards qualification. Surfing if you live by the sea. Surfschool is great. Park run, you could join him. My dyspraxic child disliked school sports other than badminton probably because its a bit slower but loves things like gym, park run as you can measure your improvement. But maybe something different like caving or bog snorkling will have the "fun" aspect! I hope something sparks his interest and repetitive muscle movements help stop the clumsiness.

Ds14yo has dyspraxia, and scored on the 0.1 centile on some of the tests so I get the challenges that your DS faces

Mine plays football, but it is a kick about in the back garden rather than training/playing for a team. We have goals (forza) and he practises his crossing and shooting. He can do it in his own time, so no pressure or audience

In the same vein, would a basketball hoop suit your DS?

DS also enjoys cycling, even though it took an age for him to learn and then develop the stamina to get up even the smallest of inclines in the park. He doesn’t have Road sense, so he basically cycles on proper tracks and we just go to a variety of parks and woods

trying to get him back into swimming, but again, not swimming lessons, more for fun. And I think lifeguarding would also suit him if he can develop more upper body strength

climbing was a no-go for DS as he just couldn’t work out how to move his arms and legs to make any progress. I think it’s a lack of upper body strength with the dyspraxia that worked against him

He is surprisingly ok (not great, just ok) at table tennis

he loves cooking

DS is also an ok skier, I wonder whether skiing is less impacted by dyspraxia than many other sports?

My friend's very unsporty dyspraxic son took up archery at quite a young age. He was really good at it.

Swimming
Hiking or geocaching
Warhammer (very expensive but it is usually a happy saturday crowd of geeky, unsporty boys)
Coding club
Martial arts (also expensive but good for non-sporty types, at least at thelower level belts.

Junior Park Run? I think on Sundays. There is an obvious "who finished first" but I don't think the runners are bothered by this. Their aim seems to be to beat their personal best times.
Kite flying? By himself, or with you.
Cookery classes.
Photography.
Skateboarding, or roller skating, if that would work.

This might sound counter intuitive but try climbing at an indoor bouldering wall.

Drumming. It's incredibly physical, isn't competitive but develops a different type of teamwork and communication.

A significant number of professional drummers have adhd. So do bassists to a slightly lesser extent.

It bears repeating - horse riding is always the answer

I was going to suggest parkrun (5k , 9am Saturdays ) or the junior 2k version on Sundays. You can walk, running is not obligatory. Volunteering at parkrun also great for confidence and community.

I was shit at team/ball sports. Like unbelievably bad. No hand eye coordination whatsoever. And I hated the whole culture/vibe of them too.
And yet I’m a good dancer. Could he try that?

My eldest son has dyspraxia. Obviously a lot of years have passed and he is now adult. The suggestion put forward by his school as being a good hobby to help him with his co-ordination/motor planning was Archery. He is left handed but we bought him the appropriate bow and he seemed to enjoy. Have been saying to him lately might be good for him to restart! (he also has mild learning disability).

Another vote for climbing. It’s great for kids who aren’t sporty and who aren’t very coordinated. Kids can take their time and plan their moves. It works at many levels at its really about just trying and then trying again. The atmosphere is very supportive instead of competitive because for the most part it’s about trying to improve your own performance.

for non-sport look for role playing games that meet in person like d&d. sometimes those can be found if you look for a local board game store. Also any artistic pursuit, look for a class or club.

Martial arts

Not a sport but does he play chess. The clubs around here are very mixed as, while they have lessons for younger people, they also play with the adults and all love it. My ds specially loved it as very little conversation but still a great bond as they took each other on. It is something he has carried on through life. Also if there is any kind of youth group in your area he may enjoy that. I am involved with one and we seem to attract the nonsporty kids as the others are too busy, and it's lovely to see them meet with likeminded folk.

Horse riding.

Thanks so much for all these suggestions, they are really helpful and there are lots of things I’d never even thought of. I think that we are going to try bouldering ( again) as he enjoyed that. He loved riding for a while and we tried to restart after lockdown but the local stables are all so busy it was really hard to get lessons booked, and then he lost his confidence but we might try again. And I agree about drumming. He has lessons at school and is not bad at all! He, his sister had his dad do ‘band practice’ which hopefully can be reformed with like minded kids at some point.

He has just bought a Warhammer starter set and seemed quite engaged with it, so I might encourage him into that, as our local shop has loads going on. Things like parkour, geocaching, skateboarding etc. I’d never even considered but I reckon they are all worth a look, as are wildlife activities.

Thanks so much for the suggestions. We will have a chat about options and try a few new things our.

If he likes being outdoors and you are already considering geocaching, I would also suggest adding orienteering to the mix. It depends in the country where you are, some areas out on more events than others. We are quite lucky here that we can get to about one event a month as a family, we do the orienteering (DD at a flat out run, DS, at a meandering jog, me aiming for accuracy at a very determined march, and DH just bumbling along) then go for Sunday lunch in the pub because we earned our roast dinner. Everyone does orienteering their own way, you get some very fast and competitive runners, but you also get families doing it as a group activity, and we have members in our club in their 80s. Aim for a club event with a yellow route initially until you get the hang of the maps and compass.

Also yes to horse riding - I have one child who is on a national team and competed internationally, and the other child just wants to go fast and jump things, no competition, just for the thrill of being on a horse. Both approaches absolutely fine, the horse is not competitive (well, not in the same way we are. One of our horses always wants to be first at feeding time, first for attention!) But your child learns balance, coordination, self reliance, empathy for another living being, and exhilaration. I’ve had 2 horses who have carried very physically disabled riders (one with cerebral palsy, one with a genetic syndrome leaving him with little muscle tone or control) and the horses know and adapt. Being dyspraxic would not be an issue at all with the right pony.

lessons at a local golf club sound amazing! horse riding or running are great activities, too.
could be something in digital, for example, there are various graphic design courses and great video editing apps for Windows 11 if he's willing to try his hand in it.

My DS is similar, and has the speech issues too. He loves cycling and shooting (marksmanship) He also started playing the saxaphone and it really helped him develop the muscles in his mouth, which helped his speech