So lonely

[Redbabybuggy]

Hi,
I know this is going to sound a bit pathetic….but I feel so bloody lonely.
i don’t have very many friends. I have two that I’ve reached out to over the last couple of weeks and they said they were to keen to catch up and have drinks- but I’ve messaged them and they’ve just left me on read…or not read the message at all (despite being frequently on the app). I guess they didn’t really mean it. I feel hurt and let down.
I know people are busy and so on- but I feel so let down. If some one messaged me wanting to meet up I’d jump at it!
i’m 40 and work full time and have small kids and I just don’t know how to find some friends.
i don’t know what’s wrong with me. It seems like everyone has a group of close friends from school or uni or work or something…but no one wants to stay friends with me.
I really do try. I’ve done evening classes and meet up apps and chatting to people when I can occasionally do the school run- but nothing ever comes of it.
after years and years of this I know the only common denominator in all these non starter friendships is me.
I feel very low and very pathetic.

I am exactly the same OP. And don’t tell me to join a club as I’ve already joined all the clubs!!
No advice, but you’re not alone

I don’t have any good advice because I’m in a similar position, but just wanted to say I hear you and you’re not alone

I sometimes feel the same way. One close friend but she is moving away. Young kids but can't seem to make friends at the school gates

Perfect opportunity this month, ask someone of the school mums to come over with their children for a Halloween party. This can be done cheaply. Take the reigns and keep trying

Some of the school mums that should say

You're not pathetic. Loads of people feel like that. Do you have some free time for childcare as in a partner or someone to look after your children?

Thanks for replying everyone. Sorry to hear others feel like this too.
@quietnightmare two of my kids are school aged (yr 5 and yr6) but by that age the parties are expensive and a drop and go arrangement! I’d be too scared to attempt an adults party as I don’t think anyone would turn up!
@Keyansier yes, I do have some child free time on weekends and evenings- but lack people to spend it with!

OP the reason I asked was to judge your free availability. I know you mentioned evening classes - were they academic based? Could you/have you tried to join up to some hobby groups?

It's not pathetic. Most of us need human interaction. The dark nights don't help. Is there a walking group nearby?

Get to the pound shop for a party things. Cut up black bags to hang over doorways, plastics spider to stick on the walls there £1 for 50, balloons with a white sheet or pillowcase on them and hang from the ceiling for ghosts. B and m sell non alcoholic strawberry daiquiri for £2 a bottle get a couple and say it's vampire blood. Get to Iceland and get the 3 for 10 on party food so £30 would be loads and then sausage in a tin and buns and say they are witches fingers. Invite whoever from your kids classes does not have to be everyone can be just a few and personally ask their mums so come and maybe they can have a little relax while the kids do some bobbing apples and dance to music. Even have a best dressed costume. Literally say to the mums it would be nice for them to have an evening of fun too and you would love them to come so you can get to know them. Tell them your agenda. And people will come, and if they don't well you've got loads of food ready made for the next day or two and have a laugh with your kids anyway. Please op give something like this a whirl, you need to put yourself out there. Are there any neighbours in your street you could ask to get to know better who maybe have kids ?

Lots of us in the same boat OP
many threads
I think I'm on all of them!

@EmmaH2022 i’m sorry to hear that! If you or anyone else here is in south London/ Surrey….message me?!

Not pathetic at all OP, it sounds like you have put some effort in. I am the same, no easy answers but you are not alone. I am a believer in hobbies as a way of meeting up, anything in your local library or paper? Keep looking, something might turn up.

Also sending a hug, it's not nice to feel lonely.

I am new here and if I should have introduced myself (did not find any introduction thread though) I apologise. I myself am 45 years old and lonely as well, though I am supposed to be happily married since 5 years now.

I always envied those who brag to have many friends but at the end of the day, it looks like that I either lack any talent to gain friends (would be happy to be penfriend as well) or that I am simply not interesting person to anyone. In any case, I just wanted to let you know, that it seems to be not uncommon to be lonely.