Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Turning down surgery

8 replies

buggeringbuggery · 03/10/2022 16:23

I'm on the list for urgent surgery and have just been given the date.

I really, really don't think I want it.

It's due to an ex breaking my tibia, nearly 33 years ago. It was discovered earlier this year that it never healed properly and is bent and my knees and hips are out of alignment.

Since then I've been diagnosed with ankle arthritis (6 years ago) and further investigation has revealed it has damaged my ankle significantly, caused severe talonavicular arthritis.

The treatment would be ideally to fuse both the ankle joint and talonavicular joint, but the surgeon is unwilling due to my age.

Instead they want to fuse my talonavicular, break my leg and put rods in it to straighten it.

There is no guarantee this will work, as the ankle is so destroyed, but the surgeon wants to see what happens.

I've managed OKish. The pain wasn't too bad until three years ago, when I was suddenly unable to walk after a steroid injection in the ankle. Since then I've lost a lot of mobility in the ankle and walking is difficult. Pain-wise, I've become accustomed to it.

I'm terrified though, really, really scared.

I've put on a lot of weight since being more immobile, so there's a danger of surgery. I will have to be in a cast for a long time, I have a 12 year old and I'm not sure how doable that is.

More though, I have to a blood match three days before, as my pre-op showed I have a lot of odd antibodies in my blood (and I'm AB+ so shouldn't have been an issue). When I last had surgery - when giving birth to my youngest daughter, who died - the surgery went wrong and they couldn't stop the bleeding. I have flashbacks to that all the time. Then my brother went into hospital and died two years ago, then my dad last year...I'm just not ready.

OP posts:
buggeringbuggery · 03/10/2022 16:40

Can I just refuse surgery does anyone know? I've not been told how long I will be in hospital or anything about the recovery period, which makes me more anxious and reluctant.

OP posts:
Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 03/10/2022 16:45

Of course you can refuse medical treatment but you really should discuss your concerns with the medical team.

MarigoldPetals · 03/10/2022 16:47

If you are able to retain the information long enough to understand it and make a decision you are able to decide for yourself even if the decision may not seem rational to others. Totally your decision OP. No one is going to be dragging you in to hospital!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

MinnyMous · 03/10/2022 16:49

It’s always your call but I would ask the surgeon to tell you expectations of recovery time and what to expect if you don’t have the surgery.

I was offered a knee replacement last year but postponed it because the surgeon told me the outcome with my symptoms wasn’t always very successful. I am waiting another few years until it becomes very obvious that I need it and the outcome would be better. They agreed this was a reasonable thing to do. So, go back to the surgeon and ask to discuss again the pros and cons. I wish you luck.

GingerbreadPanda · 03/10/2022 16:51

You can just refuse, but I wouldn't.

Get a second opinion about fusing both, stress the life you had before and want back. Ask about delaying the surgery because you're not ready yet. Ask about recovery. Ask about therapy for your dad/brother/birth. There are options to explore before walking away.

buggeringbuggery · 03/10/2022 17:08

Thank you all. I will contact the surgeon's secretary tomorrow and ask to speak to him about my concerns. Not sure how to ask for a second opinion as I can never speak to my GP as it is and they tend to just refer to physio, who is no use for this.

I've also got very low ferritin levels, I had a blood test for the pre-op when I was nearly finished taking the iron tablets, but it hadn't risen much at all (it was 6). The nurse thought I had a longer course, but I finished them a week later.

OP posts:
buggeringbuggery · 03/10/2022 17:10

The surgeon is lovely, but after a failed second steroid injection, I was told that this is what was going to happen, very rushed in less than a minute, then I was put on the list for surgery, so no one has explained any of it to me.

OP posts:
LoopyMumbot · 06/07/2023 10:25

I know this is an old post now OP but am just wondering what you decided in the end? I was recommended talonavicular fusion yesterday and I am trying to decide... Best wishes

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread