Joining the gym - morbidly obsese

[helptogetfitter]

I’m 23 stone, 5ft 9 - dress size 26-28 .

I was offered a gym referral through occupational health for my mental well-being (not to lose weight specifically) .

I’ve nipped down to the gym today having put it off for weeks, and they’ve suggested I try swimming in the first instance, there’s a women only session once a week . Seemingly only about 8-10 women go.

I’m so bloody nervous . I am massive, horrendously unfit (I get out of breath/sweaty just going for a walk) and scared of exercising - dyspraxic and very unconfident in myself . Take panic attacks at times .

The gym/staff are lovely, very reassuring and kind and welcoming and I’m sure it will be fine but has anyone been in this position before?

Firstly, very well done for being brave.

gyms are not full of super fit slender people - yes, some are - but they are mainly full of people wanting to take some steps on a fitness journey.

I weigh slightly less than you but not by much at all. I go to a gym and I promise you no one will care. You may feel a bit self conscious at first but you'll soon forget all about it. I have never ever seen anyone look at me twice nor at anyone else. Men hang about together lifting weights but they aren't looking at me and everyone else gets on regardless.

However I did judge a man last week who was in his late 60s (I'd guess) and was on an exercise bike shirtless and in bare feet <shudder>.

I have just joined a gym too - fair few stone to lose and similarly unfit.

I could never have imagined the sheer spectrum of shapes, sizes, ages, colours. I was terrified it was going to be full of super-fit gym bunnies, and I couldn't have been more wrong - I feel totally invisible here and I love that! such a cliché but everyone is too invested in doing their own thing.

Oh yes, truthfully the only person I've ever judged in the gym was barefoot and started picking his feet between sets 🤢 so keep your shoes on and no one will care

Swimming is really relaxing once you get used to it, it hopefully will help you feel better op.

I’m in that position!
Look to see if your council pool does classes in the water specifically for people needing to increase their mobility (often called AquaMobility or AquaFit) because those are a great starting point. They work on balance, strength and mobility equally, which should help with your dyspraxia as well as your underlying fitness.

Failing that, the women only swim sessions are good and I’ve always found the atmosphere very welcoming (despite me looking like a beached whale).

There are also gym based classes that are aimed at those of us needing to build up our stamina and protect our joints. No one there is a Gym Bunny, you won’t feel out of place and everyone started by barely being able to climb the stairs.

I have been to two classes in the gym now. It was intimidating to walk in the first time, and I was utterly exhausted even doing the minimum activities but my classmates were very encouraging.

You can do it, OP! And through the pool-based classes I have made lots of new friends - it’s great for my mental health!

Good on you. Swimming could be a good way to start but in a way it's easier to have goals in the gym, start with the elliptical trainer for a short time then next do a few more minutes, more of an incline etc. if you can, see if a trainer will give you a programme as having some realistic goals is really motivating.

Treat yourself to something comfy (trousers that stay up, good sports bra etc). Or have this as a reward after your first month maybe.

If anyone does take any notice of you they'll probably just be giving you an encouraging smile and wishing you well.

Swimming is a fantastic way to lose weight, but also eases you gently into exercising. Sounds like a great way to start.

Anyone who judges an overweight person in the gym isn't worthy of your time or headspace. You'd not criticise someone going to the doctor to get well, people certainly shouldn't judge someone going to the gym to get fitter. 99% of people won't care, if anything I think it's something to be proud of. Plenty of people would do nothing. The 1% that do judge, hopefully silently, are nobheads x

I wonder where we have all ingested this idea of the gym as intimidating? Is it PE in school? The first time my slim sporty sister went to the gym she made me go with her as she was scared to go on her own. It was the blind leading the blind!
I've still never actually completed a workout in a gym.
I love the water, I can't swim properly anymore but just being in the water makes me feel better and I hope you can get the same feeling of peace from it that I do.
It's worth any amount of nerves and even the hassle of extra hair washing.

No one will care and anyone that does notice will probably think 'good on you'

I'm a fatty that goes bright red when I work out. I'm fairly fit, but don't look it. No one ever gives me a second look.
We have everyone from gym bunnies to people larger than you. Everyone rubs along nicely 🙂

I’m one of the “in shape” people at the gym (sorry didn’t know how else to word it!) and I get really anxious and feel unconfident there often too (for varying reasons) Your not alone OP ❤️ The fact that you are brave and willing to go is brilliant. People there won’t pay attention to you, they will be busy focusing on what they are doing and don’t forget, you are all there for the same reason!

I can really relate because I feel like everyone watches me and they really don’t. If your in the gym part stick on some noise cancelling headphones and put on a playlist that makes you feel confident and ignore the world. You are there for you and making changes for your mental well being. It can be really hard at times but when you start to see progress be it mental or physical you will feel empowered.

good luck OP 🤞

@helptogetfitter

go for it!! Be strong and why care what they think!

Swimming is great and all types of people go.
There are a lot of people at my swimming pool that walk their lengths, they don't even swim.
No one takes any notice.
It's a great way to build up.
Please don't worry and good luck.

Good luck. I'd agree anyone to does judge will be thinking - good on you, go for it!

I'd agree swimming is a good place to start. Less stress on your knees and joints. I'd try and set mini goals of x lengths without stopping. Then rest then go again, building up to being able to swim for 20mins without stopping.

Yup. I've been to the gym at that size.

Nobody cared and I wasn't the largest person there by any means.

I'm now not at that size. And still nobody cares.

It's one of the joys of it, the being utterly inconspicuous because you're just another gym member.

People I have judged at the gym (silently, I'm not a total monster!) fall into two groups.

Gym bro's who spend half their time flexing in the mirror, who have awful form in their lifts, but still try to tell everyone else what they should be doing.

People who mess with the equipment I'm using, especially if I'm mid set. (Do NOT touch my bar if I bench pressing, you are NOT helping.)

I started strength training a few years back, after slowly getting down from a size 24 to a 20. I also felt really nervous, but I'd say 98% of the people I've interacted with at the gym have been really supportive. And the majority of people there don't interact anyway, everyone is just trying to work out.

Do it!! I started swimming at a size 22 and am now size 18. People of all sizes and abilities swim and the more you go the better you get. I now swim in the medium lane after starting in the slow lane. I was very slow, did not put my head under. I now do 40 lengths 4 times a week and love it. Do not be worried!

Go for it! In my gym there are super slim people, massive muscly guys, average people, obese people and everyone in between. I joined my gym at a size 18 and was so scared about being judged but I find everyone is in their own little bubble. Swimming is so good for your fitness, please give it a go, you will love it.

Well done you for going and meeting the team. I started three years ago with a BMI of 40.
I was doing no exercise at all but found a gym that offered aquaerobics and went along once or twice a week for about six months. I wore a sports bra under my costume as very generous boobs. Great thing is no one can see how coordinated or not you are as it gets hidden by the water! After that I felt fit enough (and brave enough if I’m honest) to seek out a personal trainer. That one to one was the guidance I needed to help me out.
Now I feel grumpy if I have to miss my training session for holidays or work. My newest trainer works in a hotel gym and no one really bats an eye at sweaty me doing med ball slams or deadlifts as they are too busy concentrating on their own work out. There are all ages, shapes, sizes and fitness levels.

Hey OP

Really well done on starting the gym - it sounds like swimming will be great for you.

Like @Canihaveacoffeepleasexx I'm also one of the "in shape" people at the gym. Like everyone else, I'm mostly concentrating on trying not to die while I'm there so I don't really pay attention to who else is around and what they're up to.

I specifically pay less attention in swimming classes because my head's always under the water and I can't see a thing without my glasses.

Don't go with preconceived ideas. My friend started the gym with the mindset that everyone was judging her and that the "gym bunnies" would be nasty mean girls. It really ruined her first few weeks at the gym until we got chatting one day.

Once you find your groove, I'd really recommend weight lifting as well. It doesn't burn many calories and won't really contribute to weight-loss, but its excellent for mental wellbeing. I find anyway

Once you get going you'll build in confidence and it will seem less scary. Good luck OP 🙂

From my experience the people you think are judging you aren't, they are no doubt lost in their workout, processing their day, and trying to push themselves to finish their sets.

Enjoy the process, try to relax, and take baby steps. Gyms are un-stereotypically full of supportive people with a shared interest who are happy to help if asked. You always get the odd arsehole, but that's true anywhere!

As other posters said, most will be too self centred to be looking at anyone else! However those that do take any notice of you wil be thinking 'good for you' because most people at the gym or pool are there to get fit, stay fit and be healthy and so respect anyone prepared to try the same. At my gym there are people of all ages, size and abilities and even the gym 'bunnies and bros' are usually friendly!

If you can, get a session or two with a good personal trainer so you know how to safely start off with a good programme that builds your confidence and ability. Don't forget lots of walking and general activity counts too and anything outdoors (e.g. a walk in the park) is good as it helps with mental wellbeing as well.

People will look at you but in a 'they're new here/wonder if I know them' kind of way.

The thoughts are always worse x