Exactly what SPECIAL SEX TOY NEEDS does MN think MNers might have?!

[FurryDandelionSeekingMissile]

As opposed to any other woman's sex toy needs and wants?

And who tf is going to rub something called The Sorcerer on themselves? That doesn't <ahem> conjure up sexy imagery for me.

These bottom-of-the-page polls are getting weird. Who's doing them? What are they for — market research presumably? Has MN given us any info on them?

The rampant chicken?

Possibly, though I've not searched anything relevant and I get other survey questions too. Even if it's only serving it to particular MNers based on history, it's still bloody strange.

I'm not too impressed with how they decide to serve the more general ads on MN anyway… whichever company they're using seems to think that I am a buyer for some kind of biotech company and want to buy bulk medical experimentation supplies. I'm actually an unemployed literature graduate.

As it's a UK site rather than a US one, then surely the JKR connection would be better served by naming it The Philosopher.

Drones on for ages but never comes to a satisfying conclusion.

The postman? Ew no.

I think the questions are random rather than targeted. I get all sorts appearing. They tend to switch around depending what thread I'm on and sometimes they reappear and show me the results. I don't know if MN actually want us to answer them or if they're just hoping to recruit more people to their insight panel.

Or the ‘Evri’- might come,might not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Drones on for ages but never comes to a satisfying conclusion.

Having been ummmm involved with a couple of philosophers at university I can categorically say no sex toy should be named after them. Your review above is very accurate.

Politics students however, all good. Not sure The Politician would sell though.

The fucking Postman?! Who came up with that and what drugs were they on...? 🤣

So come on then @mnhq, why are you actually asking (or allowing someone to use the site to ask) MNers about hypothetical Mumsnet-branded sex toys? The only time I can imagine someone buying one would be for a quick laugh when the recipient unwraps it.

The Penguin Bollard would be a best seller, I reckon!

Don’t know why that was in bold!

'The Penis Beaker'

Showing how long I've been on here now but surely it should be a Brian The Yoni Massager? Or an I Left The Bastard.

Do love the CF 😂. Can you imagine the advertising - Its no Mexican house thief but still a nice little cheeky fucker 😂

Surely it would have to be the 'Goes in the dishwasher with the toilet brush, cat bowls and a side of salmon'?

surely it should be a Brian The Yoni Massager?

OMG YES! As Brian's customers shout.

Glad you posted, I saw this too and nearly did but I didn’t want to be an OP 😬

I understand and accept Mumsnet’s need to monetise the site, but the simple matter is I don’t want to think about parenting at the same time as I’m thinking about masturbation. Childcare and self-pleasure just don’t go together - for some obvious and important reasons!!

I thought it was totally inappropriate on a parenting site. (Don’t know who thought up the names but they sound more like a sniggering male teen than a mum.)

Also why does a mumsnet user need a different type of vibrator to that used by normal woman?! This is a non-existent market.

Stick to selling ad-space and doing surveys Mumsnet, branching out into the sex toy industry under the Mumsnet brand name is yuck yuck yuck.

Glad to be of service, Pineapple

You're right, doesn't sound like what adult women would come up with — the idea that mums are all stuck at home desperately horny/lonely and indiscriminately latching onto the occasional hapless male who happens to need to regularly come close to their house for a few moments to deliver post is weirdly 70s sex comedy in tone.

DAMMIT I just ran in to suggest Brian the Yoni Massager and someone’s beaten me to it 😂

MNHQ? Respectfully, you’ve lost the plot.