Wedding party attire

[OliviaRose44]

Hi all

I’m getting married next summer. I have 6 bridesmaids (3 friends and my fiancé’s 3 sisters). My fiancé is having 8 groomsmen who are all his closest friends.

My fiancé isn’t having my brother as a groomsman which I’m fine with - they get on well but aren’t particularly close where as I’m really close with his 3 sisters as we live closeby to them.

I do however want to include my brother in the wedding so we will be having him as our witness and I thought maybe he could greet guests and guide them to seats etc for the ceremony. He does suffer with nerves and social anxiety so I didn’t want to put too much pressure on him but also want him to feel included.

My dad, stepdad and Fiancés dad and stepdad will be wearing the same suits as the groomsmen so I thought we could also ask my brother to wear the same too?

any thoughts on this and also any other suggestions on ways to include him / maybe jobs for him to have on the day?

thanks 😊

I don't know what Groom's men are but the job you are describing is an usher. Are the groom's men ushers?

The role of greeting and assisting guests on arrival is called usher, and I think it's normal to have at least two (one from each side of the family). Not everyone goes in for matchy-matchy suits, but they's at least have a buttonhole, so dressing them the same is normal.

Who is lined up to be the other usher?

Other thing he could do would be a reading

I thought groomsmen / ushers are basically the same thing with different names - the male equivalent of bridesmaids, but I could be wrong.

Why not dress db in the same suit and have him walk down the aisle with your MOH or a bridesmaid on his arm then he could stand next to the bridesmaids on your side of the wedding party.
That way he'll be included as part of your family.
There's no hard and fast rules to the wedding procession, it's a nice way to include him.
I wouldn't ask him to be an usher if he has anxiety as at my dds wedding getting people to their seats was like herding cats!
If it's a hotel wedding you can get a member of staff to direct people or put a board up, if it's a church people naturally go to the right for the groom and left for the bride ime.
Have a lovely wedding

It sounds like you're going to have more people in the bridal party than you are normal guests...

Thanks for this pointless comment that I didn’t ask for an opinion on

That’s a really nice idea actually thank you. I also thought from this that he could walk down with my mum just before we start the ceremony when all the other guests are seated.

Sorry OP, you're right, I didn't actually make a valid point. What I should have said was that you don't need to try and please or involve everyone.
Especially if your brother has social anxiety, he might actually prefer to just sit back and enjoy the day as a guest. Have you spoken to him?

Its mainly as I’m having my fiancés sisters as bridesmaids that I don’t want my brother to feel left out.
I haven’t spoken to him about it and you’re right in that he may actually be happy to sit and just enjoy himself.

I thought at least if he’s dressed the same as the groomsmen & dad’s he will hopefully still feel included as they will all match in our family photos etc

Your dp should really be having your brother as part of his party-family politics and all that

Ooh yes, that's a lovely idea