Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

Mil and baby

24 replies

abi9396 · 02/10/2022 13:00

My son stayed over our mother in laws house yesterday for the night and they decided to increase his feed to 5 oz without telling us. He’s been super sick since he’s been home. Would anyone else be bothered by this or am I just thinking to much into it

OP posts:

LightDrizzle · 02/10/2022 13:03

It would bother me. I wouldn’t do that with anyone else’s baby. Did they think he was still hungry? Why not message you?

CheezePleeze · 02/10/2022 13:04

More info needed.

Did he drain his bottle and want more?

Holly60 · 02/10/2022 14:11

They should have text - 'DS drunk his milk very fast and is still crying, can we give him some more?'

Holly60 · 02/10/2022 14:12

I'm a DGM and I would have text their parents for anything like this, especially with a small baby

Holly60 · 02/10/2022 14:12

Having said that I doubt it's the extra oz of milk that is making him very sick

Holly60 · 02/10/2022 14:13

He would have sicked up anything he didn't need straight away and then have been fine again after

Holly60 · 02/10/2022 14:14

I would just say 'next time could you give us a quick text just to check please'

girlmom21 · 02/10/2022 14:14

Holly60 · 02/10/2022 14:11

They should have text - 'DS drunk his milk very fast and is still crying, can we give him some more?'

No they shouldn't. If he was hungry they shouldn't have to wait his parents to confirm it's ok to give him more. That's absurd.

PaperPalace · 02/10/2022 14:15

I assume he's a young baby, you can't force a baby to take more than they want to so I assume he finished his bottle and still seemed hungry? If so I think what they did was understandable.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/10/2022 14:16

They increased to 5oz from what, 4oz?

birdling · 02/10/2022 14:18

But if he hadn't wanted it, he wouldn't have drunk it. If he did have too much it would have come up straightaway. If he is still bringing up milk later on, I would think it more likely that he has a tummy bug.

Boxofsockss · 02/10/2022 14:20

Surely he would only drink what he needed anyway.don’t see the problem.

yikesanotherbooboo · 02/10/2022 14:30

What @birdling said.I don't think Ils have done anything wrong and if baby is still being sick it is not because of an extra oz of milk.

CheezePleeze · 02/10/2022 14:32

Holly60 · 02/10/2022 14:14

I would just say 'next time could you give us a quick text just to check please'

That's ridiculous. If a baby shows signs of hunger then the adult you have trusted to look after them should be able to do just that, without having to text and ask permission.

If my mum or MIL had sent a text like that I'd assume they'd lost their senses and wouldn't ask them to babysit again.

Calphurnia88 · 02/10/2022 15:33

CheezePleeze · 02/10/2022 14:32

That's ridiculous. If a baby shows signs of hunger then the adult you have trusted to look after them should be able to do just that, without having to text and ask permission.

If my mum or MIL had sent a text like that I'd assume they'd lost their senses and wouldn't ask them to babysit again.

Show quote history

I pretty much EBF (have done the odd bottle) but I thought one of the 'watch outs' with formula/bottles was overfeeding as it's harder for babies to control the flow of milk? And one of the signs of overfeeding is vomiting.

If I had specifically told a caregiver that baby has Xoz per feed then I wouldn't expect them to go over that unless they checked first. It's not hard to give mum a quick call and say 'baby has just gulped down Xoz, shall I give him some more or hang fire?' Then mum can ask how quickly they drank it, etc to understand if maybe baby was fed a little too quickly and needs a break.

That said, I can see how easily this might happen (and with all the right intentions) so it wouldn't be an issue, I would just ask next time that they stick to the specified amount and/or pace feed.

CheezePleeze · 02/10/2022 15:44

Drinking an ounce or two extra isn't going to make the baby sick the following day though.

Beees · 02/10/2022 15:49

CheezePleeze · 02/10/2022 15:44

Drinking an ounce or two extra isn't going to make the baby sick the following day though.

Agreed with this.

The simple fact is he's just unwell, it's pure coincidence that he's had extra milk and is now sick.

JLQ1020 · 02/10/2022 15:50

I think you are being unreasonable here.
When I leave my baby with my MIL I trust her to feed my baby enough and if she happens to have more than at home then sure that is fine.
Doing paced feeding will help ensure babies don't over feed. Also as said above if baby has ate too much they will sick it up pretty soon after.
If baby is still unwell I'd take them to see a Doctor.

Georgeskitchen · 02/10/2022 16:26

How old is he and how much would he normally take? He would bring it up more or less immediately if stomach too full
I think your overthinking this

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 02/10/2022 16:28

If you trust them to have your baby overnight you trust them to make decisions like “I think he needs more milk”. If you don’t, don’t leave them.

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 02/10/2022 16:29

Surely you must trust her judgement to have handed your dc over for an overnight stay?

Calphurnia88 · 02/10/2022 16:41

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 02/10/2022 16:29

Surely you must trust her judgement to have handed your dc over for an overnight stay?

I'm not sure I understand this point around trust. Yes, OP must have trusted MIL to have DS overnight, but presumably she's now questioning that trust based on the fact MIL went against her instructions re feeding amount.

@abi9396 whilst I can see why you might want to discuss feeding with MIL to make sure you're on the same page (and this does not need to be a confrontation), I agree with PP that if DC is still being sick this afternoon then it's not because of the extra milk, which would have been thrown up pretty quickly afterwards. Unless MIL has had DS today and continued to give extra milk?

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 02/10/2022 16:43

Babies should be allowed to take as much milk as they need. They should never drain a bottle. As long as she was paced feeding, did you show her how then she can’t have over feed him. Extra milk yesterday won’t make him sick today.

User38899953 · 02/10/2022 17:23

If you don't trust her judgment, don't leave your DC with her. It's not fair to micro manage in this way.

Flip