Does aging scare anyone else?

[Whengcame]

A few pictures came up on Facebook of some local ladies. These women are not old. They would be late 40s going on 50. Seeing their pictures scared me because they aged so quickly. I couldn't believe it. It would be a few years since I last saw them but they looked well before. Now, their hair is thin, and there are winkles on the face and they did not look good.
Seeing what's in store for me for the future.

I'm 58 and look rough on a bad morning, but can still scrub up well if I put my mind to it.

I came to the thread thinking it would be fear of becoming incapacitated with age, not 'losing' your looks. I've never really given a shit about my looks anyway, so not going to start now.

Try being less shallow, and more confident. That will help.

@Whengcame , winkles on their faces? Don't worry, they probably have some mussels too.

No. It's a privilege to age. We should all be so lucky.

X

Ha. No. Am in my 50s and bloody love it. Am post meno, no periods, never been physically fitter (run and do weights and Pilates) or slimmer (not thin, but a healthy weight and I eat well), have bags of energy and bloody love life. Long May this continue. I love my grey hair and glasses, don’t give a stuff how old I look and can’t be bothered with make up. It’s amazing. My confidence has doubled with every decade. Dementia, osteoporosis, painful cancer? Not looking forward to that. Not too worried about dying either tho would rather hold it off til DCs are properly independent if I can.

No, I'm sad that celebrities go to such lengths to try to look younger.

I don't love my wrinkles (50's) and look back at photos and think 'wow, I looked great then ', but I know if I'm lucky enough to get to 80, I'll look at pictures of 50 year old me and think I looked great😁

Like others, I've faced very serious illness and almost died, I'm grateful for each day I have and hate the obsession with women"s look and appearance.

I know two 20 something's who have died recently, that's a tragedy worth being upset about.

I think as you get older the most important thing is health and the health of those around you .

No. I really don't mind. My family has suffered some really difficult things in the last 5 years. I'm just happy to be alive know that my kids are ok

I'm 46 and look better than at 10 years ago at 36.
I barely have any lines (I'm overweight so that irons any out lol).
Also, at 36 I was going through a psychotic breakdown.
I looked unwell, my hair was falling out but now it's much thicker and I have nice blonde highlights.
I look well now and get told I look good even though my mental health still isn't great.

I need to loose 3 stone but that's nothing to do with age.. my weight has been up & down since my 20s. My weight is the main thing affecting my physical health as the nurse says im almost pre diabetic, my knees ache and my hips hurt.

Im really unfit too so I've started exercising and omg it's hard at the beginning!!

One of my friends died in a horrific accident at 25 and a best friend is an amputee whose been through cancer twice so I do generally appreciate life.

You've been infected by the toxic messaging of the cosmetics industry that age is bad and must not be seen. That's driven by internalised misogyny. Maybe address that rather than fret about your appearance?

And FWIW I'm 54, have thick shiny hair and very few wrinkles. I'm out on the other side of the menopause and I feel great. Yes, I have arthritis - but I've had that since I was 17.

This.

No - am aged 57 and couldn't care less. In fact, it's a relief and nobody is bothered what I look like. Getting closer to death is a relief too, because the thought of living forever is horrific. Just embrace the wisdom & experience you gain with age, & stop looking in the mirror!

I'm 63 and couldn't care less about my looks - I'm grateful to be healthy and alive. I would rather have thin hair (although I don't) and wrinkles (yes) than die young with thick hair and no wrinkles. You really are worrying about the wrong part of aging OP, and sound rather shallow.

I don't normally do this but it's a soap box I'm willing to climb on.

My son died aged 14. I can't tell you how much pain I feel when I hear people complaining about getting older.

It is a privilege and one to be cherished.

I'm 47. I look like shit. That is because life has been incredibly hard over the last few years and it has taken a physical toll.

I hope none of my friends look at me and judge my appearance in that way.

Every woman I know in their 40s has had some shit or another to deal with. Grief, divorce, aging parents, redundancy, illness.

Be scared of those, and work out how you be and have the supportive friend that we all need.

Don't be the one judging their hair.

@fruitstick I’m so sorry about your son 💐

Your post is really powerful and you are so right.

This is a great thread. I am a vain 49 year old and have previously feared looking older. Now I’m facing a few health issues that may impact on me going forward I’ve reassessed my priorities. Getting a (very) physical (outdoor) hobby has also helped even though it’s not the best for my skin I love it and it makes me feel ALIVE!!

Ageing doesn't but getting I'll does/ ending up in hospital/ being widowed. A few wrinkles are a breeze compared to those scenarios.

Heading towards 50 and whilst I don’t love my saggy jowls & wrinkles, which are a real shock because I always looked younger than my age until menopause, I’m more concerned re dementia and mobility loss.
I had 2 DGM who suffered horribly with dementia before they both died in nursing homes & DF has, since lockdown, suffered loss of mobility and sudden dementia and has now gone into a home age 74.
I’m focusing on my mobility, diet and physical health rather than how my face looks.

Not worried about looking old. Do think about the effects of ageing in body and brain, though.

Looking older doesn't scare me. But as I approach 50, what scares me is how my body feels different. Im having to work so much harder to try to keep hold of things like mobility, strength. My eyesight has deteriorated and I need to wear glasses now. I can't drink (or perhaps metabolise) alcohol the way I could 10 years ago. Despite experts saying it's not a thing, I can put on weight just by thinking about cake, whereas I always used to be able to eat anything. It feels like my body is giving up but my brain isn't ready yet. And maybe I've got another 30 years of this 😂

Sorry for your loss. Profound post that has really made me think.

This. I am terrified of being physically incapacitated and in pain but mentally aware. Locked in syndrome terrifies me the most. Also being unable to care for myself and relying on carers who may not give a shit

I think we all worry about growing older for a variety of reasons - potentially less mobility, less years to enjoy, cosmetic reasons, etc - but any time I feel like this I think of the old saying “growing old is a privilege many of us never get to enjoy”. There only is one alternative to not growing old, and it’s not very appealing. I think ultimately we need to adjust our mindsets to appreciate that whilst growing old may seem a negative thing for a lot of reasons, the fundamental fact that we are still here should be seen as the positive that overrides those negatives.

Where's the OP gone?

You sound very vein appearance obsessed OP.

My worst fear. I'm not bothered about looking older - no point. And once you're dead, you won't know about it. But a miserable old age does worry me.

I'm 58 , old , fat and crinkled... menopausal so mentally do not give a shit.

Have a MIL with alzheimers and dementia whose memories are regressing past 20 years ago, her dementia is vascular so she is fast being physically limited to a bed, or a sit in a chair. She is catheterised, fecally incontinent, has diabetes, COPD , asthma, is on steroids long term , has gone deaf, is going blind and her limbs are starting to fail, she does not talk much and has started to inhale her food.

That is what scares me. That medical care is keeping her alive... to sleep or be sat in a chair.