Could this be perimenopause or something else?

[Angustiada]

To cut a long story short, I've just been through the worst 3 years of my life. Discovered now nearly exH (16 years) had had 3 affairs, my dad nearly died and I had to care for him for a few months, covid hit, I got made redundant and then not, homeschooled 2 kids in lockdown 100% alone and working FT, have no family around, got starved out of family home by ex, experienced post separation abuse from him and he also moved his pregnant (very new) girlfriend into our old home.
In amongst this I've been experiencing some new physical and mental symptoms (I am still in talking therapy to deal with crap ex subjected me to). Reading up I'm showing many symptoms of perimenopause but I'm only 39 so could it be more likely to be stress and life as a single parent??! Symptoms include: extreme mood swings, going to very very dark places once a month, night sweats, problems sleeping, being easily irritated, body aches, peeing loads, tiredness and super itchy skin. Now of course I spoke to gp and I'm having blood tests but he didn't mention possibility of perimenopause. Do you think I should or would I sound a bit nuts?! I mean I'm not that old and my mum had quite late menopause...!

I don’t have an answer but just wanted to say I’m 37 and apart from the mood swings, I have the same symptoms as you. Haven’t actually sought medical advice yet as working full time nights so logistically it’s very difficult to be able to speak with a gp when I’m asleep most of the day 🤷🏻‍♀️
following with interest and sorry you’ve had a crappy few years op 💐

Gosh that's a lot! You're better off with your arsehole of an EXH. Even though sometimes it may not feel like it.

It's not uncommon for the menopause to start early, however due to your mum having a late menopause I'm more inclined to think it could be stress related? I get itchy skin on my face when I'm stressed.

My mum and my gran both went through theirs at around 35 and ended at 45. So can happen. I'm already having some symptoms but Drs just brush it off because I'm "too young".
It's a man's world out there and there's not enough information out there about womens bodies imo relating to things like peri menopause.

Yep, sounds like peri menopause.

Sounds very similar to me and I was diagnosed as perimenopausal. However you've been through enough to break anyone, and it's often the case in women that the body keeps the score. Get all the help you can.

The night sweats and peeing loads do suggest peri menopause to me as they are physical symptoms that aren’t usually stress related.

Ask for you thyroid to be tested. At 42 I had all those symptoms and it was after a very stressful couple of years.. divorce, house move etc.
I thought I was peri menopausal and luckily my GP tested everything. Turns out I had an overactive thyroid which was being caused by Graves' disease.
I'm on medication and feel much better, so please push for a thyroid test.
Sending hugs the insomnia and itching was awful x

Could be peri, progesterone starts dropping from mid thirties usually. Have a full blood panel done to rule out other issues eg thyroid, Vit D, Vit B etc, there's no blood test to confirm peri menopause.

How old are you? NICE guidelines advise that blood tests cannot be used to diagnose peri-menopause after 45. It’s amazing how many GPs don’t know this though.

Certainly sounds like all the symptoms. There is a fantastic Facebook group called M-Brace the Change which has extremely knowledgable and helpful admins - highly recommend joining and asking for advice.

I'm 52, and don't recognise any of those symptoms.

Are you drinking more alcohol, to cope? I get very itchy skin when I'm drinking a lot.

I do also think it could be stress related. When I went through my divorce, I had sleep paralysis a lot, which is terrifying. Now that I am settled, it never happens. The brain is a funny thing.

It may not seem like it now, but in the long run, you will be far better off without your cheating DH. I left my cheating ExH, and things are so much better now.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - look at all you have been through, and here you are, still standing. Well done. You are stronger than you think.

@TortugaRumCakeQueen You’re v lucky - I am 50 and recognise every single one. They’re very typical. And very easily addressed.

Thanks everyone. I'll speak to the Dr next week when we go over blood results. Sounds like it might be... Bit depressing tbh... Still think I'm about 25 😂

I've just started HRT with similar issues and feel AMAZING! Had felt down for nearly a year and on verge of coping. I feel like I got my life and personality back within days of putting the first patch on.
I'm late forties, but sounds like you should try it. Wish I'd done it sooner! Telling all my friends to get on it now!

It could be some sort of nutritional deficiency. I'm not sure which. Magnesium, folates, omega3 and Bs are often missing from people's diets.

An antihistamine for a couple of days before a night out will probably help with the itchy skin. Alcohol is a bugger re histamine because not only does it contain it, it can cause the body to produce more and it can block the effectiveness of the enzymes? that breakdown histamine in the blood. Add that to dwindling progesterone which is involved in those enzymes (or whatever they are) and thats one of the reasons alcohol can be a disaster at this stage of life.