Tell me if Santa is real!

[Robostripes]

Help!

DS is 6.5. Earlier this year he told me quite nonchalantly that he wasn’t sure if he believed in Santa anymore because it’s impossible for someone to get round the whole world delivering presents in one night. I said ok dear and changed the subject.

A week or so ago he brought it up again. After carefully checking if people who don’t believe in Santa still get presents (I confirmed yes they do), he said he doesn’t believe anymore. I’ve never been into the idea that the belief in Santa must be maintained at all costs so again I said ok that’s fine and thought that was the end of it.

Then bedtime tonight, he brings it up again, this time asking me to “tell him the truth” about whether Santa is real. I said I thought he didn’t believe anymore so why does it matter, but he was quite insistent I should tell him - it seems there’s a difference between “I don’t believe” and actually having it confirmed outright that he’s not real. He started getting quite upset about it so I said we’re not talking about it anymore tonight.

What do I do! As I say above I’m not one of those parents who is obsessed with ‘keeping the magic alive’ as long as possible, but he’s a bit younger than I was when I worked it out and these days a lot of people seem to have 10/11 year olds who still believe. I don’t want him to be upset but equally I feel uncomfortable lying to a child who is begging me to tell him the truth! Any advice please?

Tell him the truth.

I'd say tell the truth also.

As I say above I’m not one of those parents who is obsessed with ‘keeping the magic alive’ as long as possible

Are you sure you're not? Why didn't you just tell him the truth when he asked you for it?

If he's still asking for the truth after gentle redirection ('what do you think?' and so on) I'd tell the truth. The whole lying to children about Father Christmas makes me a bit uncomfortable at the best of times, but it feels very wrong when the child is specifically asking for the truth. I take the posts of believers until 10/11 with a grain of salt as a child who played along to my parents that I wasn't a believer any more as "if you don't believe, you don't yet".

If you want to soften it, could you reframe it as Santa is a game you play where he knows it's not actually Santa, but you can still play out the traditions for fun?

Because he was upset and I didn’t want him to be upset!

I think I just needed someone to tell me it’s ok to tell him the truth - thanks all. If he brings it up again I’ll tell him.

I'd tell him the truth.
It's young compared to some on here but ime it's not uncommon to know at age 6.
Do you have younger kids? Getting him to not discuss it with them may be a harder job.

He’s an only, so no younger ones to worry about thankfully! I already told him last week when he said he didn’t believe that it’s best not to talk about it with his friends at school as most of them will believe.

You might have to make sure he knows that other children might still believe and it's not his place to tell them otherwise......I still remember my DDs teacher giving me quite a telling off when she'd cheerfully told her whole class the 'truth about Santa' which led to the teacher having to deal with 20+ sobbing children just before the Christmas holidays! 😳🤣🤣

I'd tell him he isn't real, and say well done for working it out, but that you can still pretend he's real for fun. Validates his thoughts but doesn't take away anything he associates with Christmas.

Obviously important to say don't spoil it for others.

@Robostripes People are saying "tell him the truth" but you need to decide if that mean telling the legend of St Nicholas which is where Santa evolved from or simply saying "no he isn't real". Telling the story of St Nicholas would be the nicer option.

I would tell him that he's a very clever boy for working it out and that Santa isn't a man who comes down the chimney to leave presents but is based of St Nicholas, who was real and did leave gifts for children. So to keep the magic alive, once clever children like him work it out they can be part of the secret club and help spread the magic for other people. Santa isn't one man, instead he's all of us and your DS can now "be Santa" too.

Was trying to find a thread from last year on this subject and found one that is much older but says it better:

IrisWildthyme · 08/11/2013 23:33
Of course Santa Claus is real - I am Santa Claus, and daddy is Santa Claus, and so were our mummies and daddies before us and so many people have been Santa Claus now that Santa Claus is really really real, and could never stop being real. You can be Santa Claus too because Santa Claus is anybody who finds out the special secret of Christmas:that it is much more fun to give a great present that makes someone you love happy than it is to get a present given to you.

@ThreeRingCircus that is so so lovely

Thank you @Needmorelego @ThreeRingCircus @FaazoHuyzeoSix - hadn’t even crossed my mind to talk about St Nick or other ways of breaking it more gently. These are great ideas.

He's not real??!! 😫