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Original poster

Bringing family member back from conspiracy theory rabbit hole

25 replies

Coraline353 · 30/09/2022 13:48

Name changed as might share this thread with siblings.

My DMum has always loved alternative therapies etc and over time began to become more distrustful of big pharma.

She didn't seem to feel too strongly about it during the pandemic and got all 3 vaccines and was happy when we got ours and could visit (I live in UK but family are elsewhere in EU where I'm from).

However it's recently become obvious to my siblings (who live locally to her) that she's gone fully down the conspiracy rabbit hole. All the usual things:
Covid was all blown out of proportion, vaccines are bad, Joe Rogan is 'god', some defence of Trump, mainstream media is fear mongering, world economy is going to collapse etc.

She seems happy enough but I really worry about her mental health. My DDad just doesn't indulge it at all but she has her phone bluetoothed with her hearing aids and wanders around the house listening to mad stuff on YouTube.

Has anyone supported any family members in a similar position,.or seen anything that works to bring people back from the brink? I'm trying to direct her towards podcasts that I think would be her thing in terms of wellness etc but are more positive (like Fearne Cotton's Happy Place) but I'm really worried about her. She burst into tears when my sister shared that her 12 year old had her Covid vaccine!

Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coraline353 · 30/09/2022 18:15

Bump

Anyone any experience?

OP posts:
LondonWolf · 30/09/2022 18:19

I think you should leave her alone and stop trying to make her think the way you do. The tears over the vaccine are too much and I would shut that down because I don't think anyone should be imposing their views on anyone else with that kind of emotional blackmail. But the rest of it, she's a grown woman, she can have her own views and you've no right to try to police them.

Dacadactyl · 30/09/2022 18:22

Are you sure she had the vaccines herself?

That sounds like a real turnabout from someone against bug pharma to getting 3 jabs?!

Original poster
Coraline353 · 30/09/2022 18:24

Dacadactyl · 30/09/2022 18:22

Are you sure she had the vaccines herself?

That sounds like a real turnabout from someone against bug pharma to getting 3 jabs?!

She did because she was with my dad. They got them together. She wasn't totally on the whole Big Pharma are bad thing pre Covid. She was just beginning to go there but Covid hit and she was scared like all of us and wanted to be safe and able to see people. But now she says if she knew then what she knows now she never would have got it.

OP posts:
Thereisnolight · 30/09/2022 18:24

LondonWolf · 30/09/2022 18:19

I think you should leave her alone and stop trying to make her think the way you do. The tears over the vaccine are too much and I would shut that down because I don't think anyone should be imposing their views on anyone else with that kind of emotional blackmail. But the rest of it, she's a grown woman, she can have her own views and you've no right to try to police them.

I agree.
We all have different brains and see things differently. She has no right to force her views on anyone and not do you. If you’re sure you’re right then be happy for yourself.

Thereisnolight · 30/09/2022 18:24

And Nor do you

paintitallover · 30/09/2022 18:24

I don't have time myself for conspiracy theories but I've found you can't change peoples minds. Focus on yourself.

Dacadactyl · 30/09/2022 18:26

Does she have any other interests? All I can think of is try to encourage her in those. But if she's happy and not a nuisance to people, I'd leave her to it.

Brokendaughter · 30/09/2022 18:28

Who is she harming with the things she is doing?

There are people who believe biology can be changed based on wishful thinking, people who believe the earth is flat, people who believe silver will return to a 15:1 ratio etc...

If it harms nobody, why can't she be who she is & you be who you are?

PreferAnimals · 30/09/2022 18:30

I know waaaaay too many people with serious complications from the vaccine so in fairness I agree with her. I also believe in each to their own. Maybe as times gone on since the vaccines were all introduced she has done her research and has different views to those she initially had. Many people have done an about-turn
Maybe just let her decide for herself or don't bring the subject up, talk about more light hearted things.

JellyBellies · 30/09/2022 18:31

I would be concerned if this was my parent and would want to do something about it!

OP have you considered sharing with her how social media feeds you the information based on your viewing habits and basically someone can go from slightly cynical to full blown conspiracy theory quite quickly. There was a really good documentary about this on Netflix recently.

PurpleWisteria · 30/09/2022 18:35

I can see why you think it's a problem.

Some conspiracy theories are utter bullshit - like the royal family being lizards. Obviously a lie, as are many other ones.

If it's just a difference of opinion that's different but if someone you love believes absolute lies then it is a worry.

Frankly, I think some people should be certified for the sort of nonsense they put out there.

AbsoluteTruths · 30/09/2022 18:37

I don't think she needs to be 'supported' by you, just because she has a different view of things! It sounds awfully like you want to correct her 'wrongthink'.

washingbasketqueen · 30/09/2022 18:39

My dm is exactly like this- right down to YouTube videos on constantly. She was a bit like this pre covid, but covid made it worse. She would send me all these links to the nurse (who got struck off). I told her I wasn't interested. She is big into trump, anti vaccine etc. she doesn't talk about these things with us anymore but we also can't really talk about world events in front of her as it's not worth it. I sort of feel like I've lost a bit of my mum as she's seems to have lost her personality and it's hard to find common ground.

Hawkins001 · 30/09/2022 18:43

@Coraline353
the financial system was almost at the brink of collapse in 2008, with mortgage backed securities, cdo's etc.

some big pharma companies have been proven to offer incentives for professionals to peddle their products.

I don't know joe,
art bell and George Norway have intriguing perspectives on their talk show, coast to coast am, on YouTube

as for the main stream media , well

then their is the secretive bilderbergers group.

CaveMum · 30/09/2022 18:44

Evidence has shown that the more you try to convince someone they are wrong, the more they will push back. It’s very difficult to argue the points without coming across as believing yourself to be superior in some way.

Its worth listening to The Infinite Monkey Cage episode on Conspiracy Theories on BBC Sounds (it won’t let me link here for some reason!)

This is the summary:

Bringing family member back from conspiracy theory rabbit hole
Original poster
Coraline353 · 30/09/2022 19:08

washingbasketqueen · 30/09/2022 18:39

My dm is exactly like this- right down to YouTube videos on constantly. She was a bit like this pre covid, but covid made it worse. She would send me all these links to the nurse (who got struck off). I told her I wasn't interested. She is big into trump, anti vaccine etc. she doesn't talk about these things with us anymore but we also can't really talk about world events in front of her as it's not worth it. I sort of feel like I've lost a bit of my mum as she's seems to have lost her personality and it's hard to find common ground.

It's this exactly. I've often had different opinions than her on a range of things in our lives. I can handle that. But she thought Trump was a dangerous idiot as much as I did when he was elected and now you can't say a bad word about him. She's just really changed and I can't talk to her about general things the way I used to. We used to just be able to chat about whatever but now I'm having to avoid so many topics or she'll go off on a rant about it with a whole load of half truths from the internet. It's worrying

OP posts:
Original poster
Coraline353 · 30/09/2022 19:09

Thanks @CaveMum . I'll definitely give that a listen!

OP posts:
clowerina · 30/09/2022 19:10

there's a guy called Steven Hassan, cult expert who explains how they brainwash and how to get through to brainwashed family members etc (this includes from conspiracy theories) - he has an instagram and books and some youtube videos it might be worth having a look at.

I do wonder as well if the family members' mental health needs considering - often people with poor MH tend to veer into conspiracies more etc - are there underlying issues you need to look at, as well?

User2145738790 · 30/09/2022 19:12

Good grief, stop with the emotional blackmail.

Original poster
Coraline353 · 30/09/2022 19:14

I think Covid isolation was a factor. my parents are in their late 70s and my dad is a functioning alcoholic but not an easy man to live with and I'm sure wasn't easy to be in lockdown with. She used to adopt great coping strategies being independent and accepting what she could control and how to react and what she couldn't. I just think lockdown boredom meant she's found all of this to entertain herself.

My Dsis leaves nearby and is definitely going to make more of an effort to get her out and about (although she does hang out with her a bit considering she works and had 2 kids)

OP posts:
CaveMum · 30/09/2022 19:18

No worries. I’d also recommend reading David Robert Grimes’ book “The Irrational Ape”.

www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44584488-the-irrational-ape

Hawkins001 · 30/09/2022 19:43

clowerina · 30/09/2022 19:10

there's a guy called Steven Hassan, cult expert who explains how they brainwash and how to get through to brainwashed family members etc (this includes from conspiracy theories) - he has an instagram and books and some youtube videos it might be worth having a look at.

I do wonder as well if the family members' mental health needs considering - often people with poor MH tend to veer into conspiracies more etc - are there underlying issues you need to look at, as well?

What happens then when people believe, wholeheartedly the main stream media, with what could be debated to contain in different stories, that may contain all the spin, propaganda, half truths, misinformation, ect

Awakened22 · 30/09/2022 20:29

So often now if someone has a difference of opinions or beliefs they get called a conspiracy theorist. Some of my closest friends have opinions that are polar opposite to mine and this causes some great conversations/debates which can only be a good thing. We seem to have lost the ability to disagree and let opinions evolve and develop through debate. The trend for name calling (which is all the conspiracy theory label is) and silencing non-popular opinions is a really worrying trend.

LondonWolf · 30/09/2022 20:34

Awakened22 · 30/09/2022 20:29

So often now if someone has a difference of opinions or beliefs they get called a conspiracy theorist. Some of my closest friends have opinions that are polar opposite to mine and this causes some great conversations/debates which can only be a good thing. We seem to have lost the ability to disagree and let opinions evolve and develop through debate. The trend for name calling (which is all the conspiracy theory label is) and silencing non-popular opinions is a really worrying trend.

Yes or need to be extracted from their difference of opinion using cult rescue tactics. Absolutely ridiculous 🙄

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