If your DC got on well in childhood do they still get on as adults?

[Littlemisstall]

Please humour me as I try and predict the future. Myself and DH come from fractured families and I’m not sure if there’s patterns to sibling relationships or not.

We have DC aged 4 and 2. When DC2 was born DC1 was instantly in love. There’s never been any obvious jealousy and they do seem to adore each other. If I kiss DC1 goodnight they prompt me to go and give DC2 a kiss goodnight. If we drop DC1 off somewhere, DC2 cries until DC1 returns. They do bicker but they do genuinely seem to enjoy each other’s company. They prefer sleeping in the same room and like to do things together and seem to quite equally gain confidence from each other.

Does this bode well for a positive future relationship or is it all irrelevant? My DH wasn’t keen on his brother from the beginning and they never really played together. They’re now quite estranged. A good friend said when her younger brother was born she was very jealous and again, they don’t have a good relationship as adults.

Irrelevant I think (sorry). Things that will impact their personalities, interests etc haven't had time to show yet . they could have nothing in common as adults and be very distant too

I don't think you can really predict it as reasons for siblings falling out tend to be more "adult" issues - money/inheritance etc. Unless a child is showing jealousy I don't think you can judge it. The best you can do is raise them the same, with no favouritism.

Anyone who I know that has a bad relationship with siblings (including me!) has it stem from issues as teens / young adults, so until that stage I wouldn't be too sure!

I've had a fantastic relationship with my sister from the day I was born. We were very close as children and our whole lives. She is 3.5 years older

I think how they are as teens might have more of an impact, and maybe what sort of concept of family they are brought up with. My siblings' DC are all very close to each other, they have a cousins chat in FB, and make a huge effort for my 2 who are a fair bit younger. The siblings in each family are also super close and are in frequent contact with each other and always were even as little ones (they are in their 20s and 30s).

But then we parents as siblings are also in frequent touch with each other, we have family birthday parties and have our own sibling WhatsApp chat. They mimic what they see I think.

I bickered a huge amount with my brother & sister. Now my sister and I are very close, my bro and I it's harder and we can't be together a long time but there is love & ultimately I wish him the very best.

My son and daughter were very close as children and still are as adults.

From a different perspective- my brother is almost 5 years younger than me. I found him annoying as a child and he wasn't a huge fan of me either! We were never at the same life stages at the same time.

However something magic happened in our twenties and we realised that we really like each other! A lot of it has to do with our shared values and interests instilled in us by our parents, and the fact that when you are both adults age difference is less significant. My husband is actually the same age as my brother .

We were all very close as children. Had the normal teenage issues but all had each other backs. As adults we don't like each other and rarely speak. So many external influences can change things in a heartbeat.

I hope so...mine are 6&8 and the totally love each other. They have very different personalities though, so not sure how that will play out when they get older.

Got on very well with siblings growing up and are amongst my best friends as an adult. We've never fallen out.

My kids the same as little ones and all very close now (early to late 20s)

I had a very tempestuous relationship with my younger sister growing up, as I really resented her at first. She's among one of my closest friends now.

Despite being chalk and cheese, my DDs have always been very close, both as children and now as adults.

I hated one of my siblings growing up and as a teenager and wasn't close to the others due to age gap.
Hated sibling sorted himself out and we've all grown up and get on really well now.

My two are teens and close in age and share local friendship circles but not school/college ones. I really hope they get on well when they're older.

I didn't like my siblings when I was younger and dont now either.
I hope my children stay close and hopefully we will all be able to have lots of wonderful times together when they reach adulthood

Too early to tell I'd say. Mine are now 17 and 24 and they are very close, always have been.

I am four years younger than my DB and we were close as kids, had similar interests and did similar hobbies. Now in our 50s and have absolutely nothing in common except our parents. Get along fine but not at all close and don't text/speak unless arranging something/liaising re parents Birthdays.

My DSs are 2 years apart and were unseparable until they were about 8 & 10. Whatever they were doing, they'd be doing it together.

Since then their interests and friendships have diverged and now as adults they have very little contact. It's not that they don't get on, it's that they don't have reason to seek each other out iyswim. E.g. my Dad has 5 brothers but the only one he really sees much is the one he plays golf with.

DSis and I were the same. Close as children, then not really during our teens and 20s. Closer again once we both had children.

My two DS were 2 years apart, and got on well until adolescence kicked in. Now 31 and 29 there is still a level of resentment and lack of trust.

Three of mine get on well. They all hate the oldest one. (With good reason)

Yes, my two are 19 months apart in age and DD is the older of the two. They have always been close but have completely different interests and friendship circles. They are now 32 and 30, still close, live miles apart from each other but are in regular contact and meet up when they can. DS also gets on well with DD's husband so the three of them meet up for days out.

My sister never liked me as a child. I don't remember a time she was ever happy in my company. I was the younger sister desperate for her to like me, but it never happened. We're now both in our thirties and I've only just realised that she will never like me or want to spend time together so I've pulled away myself. She only talks to me if she wants something.

I hope so much that my DC don't feel like this about each other. I'd love it if they had a good relationship when they're older, but I'm not that hopeful because they bicker constantly now.

Irrelevant. I hated DBro as a child (to be fair, he was a smug little smartarse who enjoyed pushing people’s buttons, both at home and at school). We got on much better when we were no longer living at home, and are quite close now (holiday together etc). Actually me taking a year out travelling, and then going to uni really helped! A bit of distance and no squabbling.

I think enforced time together as young adults also helped - DM took us all on holiday at least once a year (things like skiing or city breaks which we actually wanted to go on). Plus I was back from uni at Christmas etc. So even though we would fall out at least once during the week, we had the other 6 days of bonding.

If I had gone to uni and then never really seen him, I’d probably still think he was a dick (he is still a dick, but he also has good points which outweigh that).

I think things will likely change as they get older. Mine are 9 & 4 and they love each other, but fight viciously some days. They can turn the most inane topic of conversation into an argument.

That said, I think siblings fighting is pretty normal. Dh and his brother fought horribly as kids. Dh still has a scar from when his DB took an axe to his head in an argument! They really didn't get on at all until probably late teens.

We're mid to late 30s now and they are best mates.