Dh & I have been together 30 years and married for 26. For a few months, prob 2 years into our relationship, (I was in my early 20's, he was 30), he developed a crush on his female colleague. Nothing happened between them, I knew her too, but he didn't hide it from me. He admitted he fancied her and he shouldn't, the odd time I passed their office they were always locked in conversation and I used to get very upset that he had feelings for someone else while with me. He knew this!
He backed off from their friendship, assured me I was the one he wanted, and didn't keep in touch with her when the company closed down.
She has quite an unusual name, and over the last year we've become friendly with a couple who live near us. The wife has the same name, and although it sounds ridiculous, every time he says, ie, 'Oh I saw Clara in town, (not her real name!), she asked if you're free on Saturday', or 'James mentioned him & Clara are seeing such-and-such band on Friday, and asked if we want to.join them', I'm right back in 1993, feeling that horrible upset, just hearing him speak that name!
He got really angry a few months back when James & Clara came up in conversation. I told him much as I like Clara, (she's a close friend of mine!), hearing him say that name triggers painful memories of his crush back in the early '90's. He stormed off saying I was being ridiculous, 30 years of happy times and 2 children later. He said he was young and 'emotionally lacking' back then, it's nasty to throw it back in his face, and maybe we should just cut James & Clara off'!
I'll never do that, I'd miss them, and this Clara is as different from the other as you can get. I just wish she had a different name! 😚