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Am I being ridiculous, about something that happened so long ago?

16 replies

Wisteriabloom · 28/09/2022 17:32

Dh & I have been together 30 years and married for 26. For a few months, prob 2 years into our relationship, (I was in my early 20's, he was 30), he developed a crush on his female colleague. Nothing happened between them, I knew her too, but he didn't hide it from me. He admitted he fancied her and he shouldn't, the odd time I passed their office they were always locked in conversation and I used to get very upset that he had feelings for someone else while with me. He knew this!

He backed off from their friendship, assured me I was the one he wanted, and didn't keep in touch with her when the company closed down.

She has quite an unusual name, and over the last year we've become friendly with a couple who live near us. The wife has the same name, and although it sounds ridiculous, every time he says, ie, 'Oh I saw Clara in town, (not her real name!), she asked if you're free on Saturday', or 'James mentioned him & Clara are seeing such-and-such band on Friday, and asked if we want to.join them', I'm right back in 1993, feeling that horrible upset, just hearing him speak that name!

He got really angry a few months back when James & Clara came up in conversation. I told him much as I like Clara, (she's a close friend of mine!), hearing him say that name triggers painful memories of his crush back in the early '90's. He stormed off saying I was being ridiculous, 30 years of happy times and 2 children later. He said he was young and 'emotionally lacking' back then, it's nasty to throw it back in his face, and maybe we should just cut James & Clara off'!

I'll never do that, I'd miss them, and this Clara is as different from the other as you can get. I just wish she had a different name! 😚

OP posts:
CheshireCats · 28/09/2022 17:39

Yes you are being utterly ridiculous. Hth.

Grandeur · 28/09/2022 17:40

Totally ridiculous. Bordering on insanity, actually.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 28/09/2022 17:42

I had to read that twice to double check.

Are you unhappy about something else but you’re focusing on this?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Zingy123 · 28/09/2022 17:42

Time to get over it.

heldinadream · 28/09/2022 17:42

It's a trigger, you can't help being triggered, but you need to deal with it. If it's really upsetting you get some therapy - and own it with DH, tell him you're sorry it's upsetting you and it's no reflection on him, it's about you having not fully processed the past and you intend to do something about it.
Good luck OP.

mrsmccormick · 28/09/2022 17:43

Yes you're being insane.

A3285633 · 28/09/2022 17:54

Some nasty comments here OP, ignore them some people totally lack empathy and must be absolute delights to know in real life!
I can understand why it upsets you and triggers bad memories. I personally don’t think your DH has helped matters by his lack of understanding.

It is irrational, and I think you know it deep down…..your DH loves you and has made his life with you. He just had a silly immature crush. Maybe just call her by a different (nickname) between you and DH just so that you don’t here him actually saying tge name?

GrowOneStrawberry · 28/09/2022 17:55

You are being absolutely ridiculous sorry to say.

A3285633 · 28/09/2022 17:55

Must learn to proofread before posting!

Wisteriabloom · 28/09/2022 17:57

No, I'm not unhappy about anything else, obviously just triggered by this.

It's weird, I can say her name, and hear her dh, landlord of our local, other mutual friends say her name without a second thought, but something triggers me when dh says it. Even if it's just 'Yes, James & Clara are going too'. (No chance of him feeling anything for her but neighbourly friendship btw, this isn't what this is about)!

It's something I need to deal with, I know, and I've never told her of the name issue, and never would!

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 28/09/2022 18:07

Truthfully, I think I'd be exactly the same.

You were 2 years into a relationship and he behaved in a way that was obvious as to his feelings.

Do you perhaps feel there was more to it than what you were informed of?

Wisteriabloom · 28/09/2022 19:00

I know nothing happened between them, apart from his feelings towards her. I don't even think she felt anything for him (other than friendship). She was someone who described herself as 'male brained', she got on better with males than females, and had more male friends than females! She was also extremely attractive, and much as dh said every bloke in the department fancied her, he worked right next to her, and definitely had the closest 'friendship' to her out of the other males.

That's reassuring, A32 and 1Foot, that I'm not alone and completely mad, in this scenario! Thank you.

OP posts:
coffeeandpoetry · 28/09/2022 19:03

Wisteriabloom · 28/09/2022 19:00

I know nothing happened between them, apart from his feelings towards her. I don't even think she felt anything for him (other than friendship). She was someone who described herself as 'male brained', she got on better with males than females, and had more male friends than females! She was also extremely attractive, and much as dh said every bloke in the department fancied her, he worked right next to her, and definitely had the closest 'friendship' to her out of the other males.

That's reassuring, A32 and 1Foot, that I'm not alone and completely mad, in this scenario! Thank you.

She was someone who described herself as 'male brained', she got on better with males than females, and had more male friends than females!

How is this relevant?

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 28/09/2022 19:05

Just let it go. You may potentially ruin great things in your life with weird obsession that happened decades ago.

StopStartStop · 28/09/2022 19:10

My 'amazingly wonderful' therapist said to me, 'You talk as if it's happening now.' From my point of view, anything that had ever happened to me (especially if it was unpleasant) was still happening 'now'. Just realising that brought it to an end.

You are still experiencing your hurt as if it is happening now. It isn't. You can let it go.

Wisteriabloom · 28/09/2022 19:45

Thank you, StopStart, I need to remind myself of this!

Coffeeandpoetry - Because she shared many interests of the average male! (And yes, I know some females are into these things too). But she loved football, her family owned a pub so she had a strong interest in real ale, coule drink men under the table! Also studied Politics at Uni, as did DJ so they had plenty in common!

I'm more of a theatre/ballet/cinema/out for coffee/gin & tonics type of girl! Nothing wrong with that, but couldn't have been more different to HER if I tried!

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