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Child Skipping School - Advice

4 replies

SliceoQuiche · 28/09/2022 12:34

My soon to be 11 year old decided to go for a wander this morning instead of going to school (for context the school is 4 minutes from our house and he’s walked to and from on his own since Christmas without issue) - took himself to the local shop to buy sweets and crisps, took himself about a mile in the other direction to buy a hot chocolate and then wandered back to school expecting to just ‘turn up late’. It’s incredibly out of character, he seems in good spirits and is a bright boy and usually a very good student.

Of course by this point (approx 10:30am) the school had called me, and they were searching the local area, and the police were called (as there was an incident last week with someone attempting to drag a child into a strange car).

My nerves are shot to pieces and it was the most scared I’ve ever been, my son seems incredibly sorry and didn’t realise ‘there’d be such a fuss’ but I feel at my wits end how to parent this. He’s insisting everything is fine at school, he’s happy at home, and that it’s just ‘something he wanted to do’.

Any advice would be appreciated, as this is genuinely something I never thought I would have to think about!

OP posts:
Flangeosaurus · 28/09/2022 12:36

If he was mine he’d lose the privilege of my trust. So he’d be walked to the door and handed over to the teacher like a 5 year old, door to door drop offs for any activity and no mooching around with friends on the park or similar. I’d also remove his screens for a week to hammer the point home.

Mammamia23 · 28/09/2022 12:42

Hi @SliceoQuiche wow receiving that call must have been incredibly frightening. At least he is ok, but yes what a shock for you to find out what he’s been up to!

i have a toddler, so no experience with older children with the exception of nieces and newphrws so feel free to ignore my comments….!

if he is old enough to walk to school, make decisions to be late for school, go into shops a mile away to buy things etc all on his own, I think he is old enough for you to have honest conversations with him about safety, abduction etc - have you got graphic with him? Scared him
a bit?

it’s also important you hammer down the point of wasting police time - the police looking for him was very expensive, and took their time away from fighting other crimes etc.

if my boy did this I think I’d try to scare the s* out of him!

(Not judging - bless him, sounds like he really didn’t know he was doing anything wrong, but a good opportunity for you to start having grown up conversations with him)

good luck!

Lindy2 · 28/09/2022 12:42

It seems strange that he'd suddenly do this. At nearly 11 he must know that there's a school register and if you're not there, then there's a problem.

I'd be on the alert that he was with someone else and has been led into this. Do you definitely know he did this alone?

Older children/adult influence on this would be a significant worry. Who bought the sweets, hot chocolate etc.

At best he's been dozy and a bit naughty on his own.

At worst it's a red flag for a potential grooming or county lines issue.

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NerrSnerr · 28/09/2022 13:26

Where did he get the money from to buy stuff as primary kids don't usually need to carry money for school? Did he plan it so take money for this reason?

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