How to meet friends with families

[Aseagullatemybaby]

Were struggling as a family to meet similar families as a friendship group.

We don’t go to church, have hobbies (our children and family life are just too busy to have individual adult hobbies- we do everything as a family), school run is a quick in and out deal for everyone so no more than a quick catch up.

We moved to our area in lockdown so have really struggled. We don’t have Facebook or the like.

How would you meet people?

Im a SAHM (DC very young - 6, 2, 10mo), DH works full time in a male dominated industry, baby groups have been a dud! We have no family that babysit so don’t do anything just me and DH apart from evening at home when kids are in bed.

We like to camp, walk, BBQ in the summer, like a drink, don’t take ourselves too seriously, just a normal boring family really!

Peanut could be a good app to try. Although I actually found it quite hard to keep conversations going with people on there so deleted it in the end.
We're in a similar situation to you where we have no family to help (live 300 miles away from them) so it's us and our DD (14 months) with another one on the way.

You're making a mistake not making an effort at school, especially if you're a SAHM. Next time the PTA organises an event, attend. Or offer to volunteer. If there's a class WhatsApp group, suggest a post-school meet up at the park or local attraction.Do your children do any activities such as sports groups/swimming etc - get chatting to the other parents standing around watching. Suggest a coffee or similar.

You are going to have to put yourself out there. It's not easy, but it won't happen without you making the effort.

You need to make much more of an effort .. join the PTA, get involved with school activities etc.

And, without sounding rude, if you haven't got any hobbies are you going to be that interesting to meet? Why don't you and your DH focus on some independent hobbies and meet friends that way .. I don't play cricket but I've made friends through the cricket club due to my DH and DS playing.

And why not try Church ? It's a great way to meet people, obviously find your own 'style', they are not all the same.

Get your six year old to invite at least a friend a week on a playdate. Then when the child arrives with their parent, make a point of inviting them in for a tea/wine/g&t and a chat.

Swimming lessons also good ground for letting other parents on the sidelines.

Agree with @NotLactoseFree that you need to make an effort with school - this is where the children your child plays with regularly are, they live locally to you, and you already have some things in common, so start chatting to other parents at pickup and dropoff. It isn't easy, but it's important for your child's social development.

It's worth being on social media for this kind of thing, even if you don't use it for much of a personal profile. You don't have to have loads of your personal information online to join a few local groups - in my area there are various parent/family groups where people share information about activities and things to do - Mumbler is good if there's one active in your area.

Great tips, thank you!

I do try with school but it’s a smallish community and got quite a clique for people that are from here, I am on the PTA but it’s all busy working parents on that too, they’re all lovely but we only meet through zoom 2 times a year and you’re given a stall to stick to when it’s the Xmas and summer fair and just asked to donate items over email so not the social hotspot I thought it’d be. There isn’t a WhatsApp group for the class unfortunately, which would have been good!

Were atheist’s I’m afraid so although I recognise church would be a great place to meet people, it’s not for us. We have spoke about a non-religious church for families to go on a Sunday morning and how great that would be! 😆

Hobbies wise- we do them all as a family so we’re not totally boring 😂 so we do watersports, walking, camping; we’re really outdoorsy and laid back, DH was a club DJ and I was a singer back in the day so we’ve not lived a sheltered life, just tame now we have children so lots to talk about 😉

I have had play dates but the child was extremely naughty (she grabbed my newborn and through him out of the his bouncy chair and dragged my then 1yo back by the throat when ‘playing’), I tried to get a hold of the mum but she turned her phone off and said she was at the cinema so it’s really put me off! The other was great but they’ve moved away 😔

I will try more at the school gates. I think I put people off having a baby and a toddler though 😕

It's tough making new friends and friends specially school mums. I too am a SAHM and struggling. I've joined the school PTA and whilst I've 'met' people I'm just not making friends. We've tried play dates too (we always host and not once reciprocated).

When people have their friendship groups I think they forget to be inclusive. When they haven't been on a new family to an area they don't think to include newbies.

Keep trying. It's hard but we will get there.