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Who should I speak to?

4 replies

mishmased · 27/09/2022 23:42

DS2 (Matthew) is 7 in second class/year 3/P4 and has an Aug birthday so one of the youngest in the class. He is very mature emotionally and enjoys school. He's a bit reserved compared with DS1 but being a second child he can stand his ground if required.
There seems to be an issue with a boy in his class (Luke). He's takes his pencil, swapped fake Pokémon card, only wants his things and if DS2 doesn't give Luke what he wants then he won't be allowed to play with the group during break.
Now DS2 is ok with not playing with Luke but upset at not playing with his friends/ being excluded. I spent over an hour trying to calm him down as he doesn't want me to tell school as Luke will know he said something. I don't want to say bullying but it does sound like it.
Luke is about 18 months older than DS2 and has a twin in the other class. I'm very chatty with their mum and she has said previously that her boys are very competitive so maybe that is what it is but I don't know.
Should I speak to school or the parent? Both parents are lovely and I don't want her thinking I should have approached her about it instead of going to school. But I read a thread where a parent was approached about their child's behavior and got the feeling that school is the best way to go. About to email the teacher for a chat, just wanted to post to get people's thoughts especially as I know the parents well.

OP posts:
Annoyed200722 · 28/09/2022 07:49

I would always speak to the school. The teacher will be able to see what is going on and try to manage the situation.

I try to avoid speaking directly to the parents about things that happen in school. Partly because I may not be getting the full story from my child. Partly because I don't want to cause un-necessary tension between myself and the other parent. And also because school are in the best position to assess the situation neutrally, intervene and monitor the outcome.

Takeitonthechin · 28/09/2022 08:08

Definitely speak to school as it makes them aware of what's going on and they can keep an eye on it.
Years ago my child was in a similar situation, I got on well with the mother, I stupidly approached the mother about it, to cut a very long story short, the mother was telling her son to do these things to my child... never spoken to her since.

Igmum · 28/09/2022 08:25

Speak to school. Also, if these are real names you may want to speak to MNHQ to edit your post.

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mishmased · 28/09/2022 20:38

Thanks for the replies. I emailed the teacher this morning and he called me this afternoon. I wasn't sure whether to approach the parents as I know them. Hopefully that sorts it now. @Igmum those are not their real names.

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