Just idly wondering - 6 year old bedtime

[AlohaMolly]

I’m not looking to be judged really, just musing…

my 6 year old son has a good bedtime routine - dinner 6/6.30, teeth brushed, wash/shower and into pyjamas at 7, story and cuddles lying down in bed at 7.30, absolute latest I say goodnight is 8pm.

he’s at school, he does gymnastics and climbing one night each after school, does swimming and horse riding at the weekend so he’s burning off energy, and we do lots of walking/socialising etc.

and yet he’s still awake most nights at 9.45/10pm. He’s largely quiet, or quietish, doesn’t often disturb us and seems happy enough, but it seems very late for a 6yp?! Do you think there’s anything I can do to encourage him to sleep earlier?

I'd pop him in bed earlier. In bed for 7, more chance of falling asleep earlier.

What the heck does he do for 2 hours. Have to say, amazing routine, and that he respects bedtime but unable to sleep for so long!... Most 6 year olds would have their parents tearing their hair out by 10. But he "doesn’t often disturb us and seems happy" - where do I get one of these!?

My 5 yro is exactly the same. Nice bedtime routine - then awake until 9.45-10 ish.

He chats away to his stuffed toys, rearranges them so ‘they’re happy’ 😂 sometimes I catch him ‘reading’ to them or himself by the light in the hall if it’s still on. Sometimes we hear him making little songs up, or stories. It’s quite cute really, I just worry that the poor bugger is exhausted! I wake him up at 7ish on weekdays and he can be a bit sluggish for 10 mins or so, but comes round after that. I think it’ll be harder to wake him as the mornings get darker, though.

I have tried this previously, but it means he spends a bit of time needing a drink/another wee/a cuddle blah blah blah. But I’ve not been consistent with it, maybe if I did it for a week or so?!

Some kids genuinely need less sleep. My DS is one of them. If he does happen to fall asleep early one evening we pay for it early the next morning

I can’t see how starting earlier would help as it’s not as though he’s zoning out in front of a screen. If he has the energy to rearrange toys etc then he obviously isn’t tired enough to sleep yet. Ultimately there is nothing you can do to force them to sleep OP but I actually don’t think that 9pm is that late for a 6 year old. My DD is 4 & falls asleep between 8.30 & 9 & I’ve talked to a few others & been surprised that their children are similar. Maybe we are in the minority though!

Mine is 6 too - ours is home for 5:45, dinner around 6:30. Play 7-7:30. Upstairs for shower at 7:30, read until 8. Lights out at 8 and asleep by half past 90% of the time: one of us usually sits with him and chats to him during that 30 mins though, just wind down and reflect on the day

My daughter struggles to sleep. She seems to manage OK on less. (We have tried it all.....I jist go with low stress now. Its OK if you can't sleep just lay still. Or sometimes....stick your light on and read. Depending on how late and how well she slept the night before. She is regularly awake at 10:30.

(She's just hit teenage years and finally we are seeing some lay ins on weekends. I am just pleased her body is finally craving some sleep.)

Our evening routine is almost exactly this, although it has slipped a bit and it's often closer to 8.30. She's out by 8.45 usually.

Her 9yo sister is often still awake and reading at 10.30. She just doesn't need much sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think if he's happy and it is not creating issues then go with it.
Mine is just 6 and we only put his bedtime back to 8pm in the last couple of months.
Bedtime starts round 7pm, supper, winding down, shower, story etc. He's always asleep by 8.30 latest but he is very active.
There is no point in comparing really, every child is different so if it works OK for you all I wouldn't stress.

My 6 year old is an owl. Did her bath and reading ages ago and she’s been in her room quietly playing. She’s normally out by 9 but very rarely will fall asleep before 8.30. Getting her up in the mornings is more of a struggle. Annoyingly her sister is the opposite. She’s out by 7.15 and an early riser.

It’s nice to hear it’s not just mine! I realise if he’s happy then it’s a silly thing to worry about, but I worry about silly things all th time 😁

@AlohaMolly both my dc have always slept less than friends dc. 6 year old currently goes to sleep at 10.30/11.

Both my dc are up early too.

I've tried to get them to sleep earlier, but it doesn't work (just meant hours or playing in bed), they've both been the types to drop naps years before their peers etc.
As they're getting older (one is 11) sleep seems to be getting less 😳

Sounds fine - not all children need to be in at 7pm!

Dunno. If you figure it out let me know. Mines 8 now. Exactly the same. Down to the toys in bed thing. He likes to sing in bed too...

When I tell people he doesn't sleep they first go "oh mine was like that until they had a run around" and I say no you don't get it. Then they go "have you tried this" and I go yes, doesn't work. There is a general thing of not understanding or getting it.

Then they stay over or he goes on camp with them. And they see it in person. Not just for one night, but night after night. He out lasts every other kid including those 5 or 6 years older than him.

And they go "Oh. See what you mean. You weren't exaggerating when you said he just doesn't sleep"

He does at least only wake me up occasionally once a night these days. It's an improvement from when he was 6 and he was still waking us (me) up to 4 times a night.

No one who has seen him in action has ever asked me again about why I didn't have a second.

I love him dearly. He is the sweetest of kids. I just wish he bloody ate and slept!

It has affected whether I am willing to go out for the night with DH. I don't feel I can inflict him / trust him with someone else.