Can't get it out of my head

[dakel]

So something quite serious happened over the weekend to one of my children.
It could have been fatal but luckily it wasn't.
They are ok now it's me that isn't.

I can't stop thinking about the call I got and what if it did end up fatal. I also can't stop thinking about if it happens again.

I'm starting to feel quite depressed about this and kind of in a bubble. How do I get out of this and stop these thoughts?

Is it likely to happen again? eg if it was an allergy then the way to get on top of your fears would be to find out as much as possible, speak to a GP and dietician, inform school, caregivers, etc.
If it was an one-off accident then it's normal to feel worried and panicked. You need to acknowledge those feelings. Sometimes it helps to write down your specific fears and what you're feeling. Then you can see if there's anything you can do to address them or you can look at them objectively and see they're unlikely to happen.
Also if a wave of worry washes up, just notice it but remind yourself that everyone is safe and well, and let the thought go.

@MelodyPondsMum thank you for your comment.

I don't really want to go into to much detail but it was my son who was involved in a knife incident whilst out with friends. He was the victim.
I really don't know if it would or could happen again. I just can't get the thoughts of what could have happened or what if it does happen again out of my head

Sorry that you're dealing with this.

You can't just get out of the bubble by trying to stop thinking about it. Like intrusive thoughts, if you try to block the thought it tends to persist or get worse. You need to go through a process of thinking and talking about what happened in order to start to move on. Pick up the phone and chat to a friend/relative.

If you're still struggling down the line then have a chat with your GP.

I'm so sorry to hear this
If the police were involved which I assume they would be did they refer you to victim support?

Massive hugs for you. This is very very normal with trauma, which I know doesn’t help right now. It’s your brain trying to rationalise what’s happened and going through what you can do so it doesn’t happen again. I had similar happen to me at the beginning of the year where I was randomly attacked in the street. The psychological damage was far worse than any physical threat to me ever was. DH had to go with me every time I left the house for ages afterwards and I thought about it all the time. It’s one of those things that simply gets easier with time. 6 months on and I honestly don’t think about it. I was told if you’re still affected after 6 weeks then that’s the time to get help. For now, just try to be kind to yourself, whatever that really means. The worst didn’t happen. Thank god x

Glad your DS is ok, I can't imagine the initial shock.

Agree with previous poster, it's hard to stop a thought, and it does feel like a downward spiral.
Definitely talk about it, let your emotions out, and hopefully that'll ease the thoughts. But as pp said, if things don't improve, a chat with GP would be wise.

My Dd got badly assaulted last year. We found her in a terrible state and although I was fine (not fine really-devastated and upset but coping) for the first 6 months, for the last three months or so I've been having awful flash backs to it and I can't stop thinking about it. I started seeing a counsellor who said the first 6 months was probably still in shock and this phase is me beginning to process it. It happened to her but it doesn't mean it doesn't affect me (and the rest of our family) in different ways.

I'm sorry for what happened to your son. And I hope you will both be ok. But you might need to get yourself
Some counselling if you can. The abject fear of a near miss with your child is just indescribable really.

Thanks all for your comments.

Victim supposed have been I touch with him not me. He's told them he's fine, which surprisingly he is.
It's me who can't get it out of my head.

I have spoke with family and friends and they assured me any parent would feel like this. It's going to take time.

I agree if I'm still feeling this way in a few weeks I should see my gp.

@warofthemonstertrucks I am so sorry to hear what about to your daughter. I hope she is ok as she can be now.

This happened Saturday and it was only yesterday it all really hit me. Now the thoughts just won't leave my head

I'm so sorry this happened. It's only been a few days. It's completely normal to feel the way you do. You're not spiralling or drowning, you're processing and that takes time.
I had an incident with DD and in the immediate aftermath because of adrenaline and relief, I was fine. Then once the adrenaline subsided, it hit me and all the other possibilities crowded in. I just had to allow myself those feelings, talk about them and remind myself we were all safe. I found that hitting up against unpredictability and precariousness in that type of way, was almost like a bereavement in the stages of emotions I experienced - shock, anger, bargaining, acceptance. There's no quick fix but as PPs have said if it lasts too long or you feel you're struggling, then go to see your GP or look into counselling.

@MelodyPondsMum what you've described is so true with the emotions and the adrenalin getting me through the first couple of days. I guess it will take time and just have to keep reminding myself he is ok.

So sorry for what happened to your dd hope your both doing ok