Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

How to soundproof my house from NDN child?

47 replies

Whoneedsleep · 27/09/2022 13:03

Before I go insane has anyone got any ideas? I live in a very old semi. Thick walls but the sound seems to just travel straight through. There are (bricked up) fireplaces in the bedrooms, maybe that’s it?
Do soundproofing wall coverings work?

I haven’t slept in months and it’s not even my baby. I have 2 of my own (one of which is less than a year old) who keep getting woken up by the all night long screams of the child next door (not crying, literally howling and screeching for hours on end) It begins with bedtime around 7, then again at 9 and then throughout the night.

It’s been going on every night since their DC was born 2 years ago, now I’m pregnant again I’m really struggling with being woken up alongside the general lack of pregnancy sleep and my own kids. The obvious solution would be ear plugs but then I can’t hear my own baby if she wakes. NDN baby is honestly as loud at mine despite being a wall away.

Short of sticking egg boxes allover my walls is there a real life solution that works?

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2022 13:07

Have you spoken to the parents about this? Perhaps social services needs to be informed. That doesn't sound normal at all. In my opinion, it sounds like neglect.

Original poster

Whoneedsleep · 27/09/2022 13:14

@Aquamarine1029 I haven’t, they seem like lovely normal people and the baby always looks well loved and cared for. I don’t know if I can bring it up with them as I'm sure it’s not fun for them either. They do seem to try and go downstairs but as soon as they come back up it starts again.

I think they just have a miserable kind of baby, always crying whether out, playing, walking, anything…you can hear the baby wailing before they pull up in the car! I think it came out of the womb screaming and never stopped…sadly for everyone who has to listen.

OP posts:

MiracleBaby2022 · 27/09/2022 13:34

Oh gosh this sounds like my baby. It only stopped when I started to breastfeed her to sleep and then co-sleep. She's been silent ever since.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families

MiracleBaby2022 · 27/09/2022 13:37

Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2022 13:07

Have you spoken to the parents about this? Perhaps social services needs to be informed. That doesn't sound normal at all. In my opinion, it sounds like neglect.

From my personal experience I would have to disagree. Our little girl screamed 24/7 - well never really know why, but it almost killed me! I wasn't able to breastfeed for a very long time and she wasn't able to feed either so it took 5 months to put an end to it.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2022 13:39

MiracleBaby2022 · 27/09/2022 13:37

Show quote history

Your baby was five months old, this has been going on with the op's neighbours for two years.

MiracleBaby2022 · 27/09/2022 13:49

Mine would still be screaming if I hadn't managed to sort out the breastfeeding issues. She had a hole in her heart which causes distress and trouble feeding, which possibly contributed to her issues, but who knows what's wrong with the other child.

andtheweedonkey · 27/09/2022 13:51

Short of sticking egg boxes allover my walls is there a real life solution that works?

Local estate agents website as a starting point.

shrunkenhead · 27/09/2022 13:55

Doesn't sound right. I'd check on the parents or phone social services to check things are ok and the parents are coping. Two years is a long time to still be screaming and crying.

Randomword6 · 27/09/2022 13:57

I've been looking into soundproofing, and there are lots of solutions at various levels of expense, however I feel it might be a good idea to talk to them about the noise. It's a very tricky thing to do though, but hopefully you will be lucky and they can consider moving the child's bedroom.

Original poster

Whoneedsleep · 27/09/2022 13:57

@andtheweedonkey I have thought about it! It’s a much loved house though, perfect location with a sea view, 1/4 of an acre of garden, short walk from an outstanding primary. We are also priced out of the market now. I was hoping this would stop eventually but it’s not! It’s actually getting worse, just screaming and screaming all night long. I’m not sure how the lungs have not burst yet.

I haven’t asked if there’s anything wrong, didn’t really seem like a question I could ask. It’s constant screaming though, the day baby came home it started, they apologised those first few weeks and we shrugged it off as a new baby but it’s never stopped. Sometimes it stops for a night or two and we think thank god they have cracked it…and then it just kicks off again.

It makes it worse that mine have been good sleepers so I can’t even say they have had to listen to mine. Maybe DC3 will be the one 😬

Like I say it’s not even crying, that would be better, it’s top of the lungs screaming in what sounds like pure rage!

OP posts:

DoodlePug · 27/09/2022 13:57

Don't know about soundproofing but you could look into the sorts of baby monitors deaf people use, and then wear ear plugs?

Deaf neighbour had all sorts of gadgets/alarms, really bright flashing lights that would go off when her baby cried.

There is something wrong with that child though 😔

Original poster

Whoneedsleep · 27/09/2022 14:04

@DoodlePug I haven’t but I will look into it. Thanks I hadn’t thought of it.

Sadly the screaming often wakes my DC, I doubt she will wear ear plugs but I have been discussing with DH about moving us all to the other end of the house. We will still hear it but hopefully less. I’ve just had the whole room redone though to accommodate us all (Co-sleeping DD2 and preparing space for incoming DC3)

I don’t understand how the sound is travelling so bad. It’s a really old house, you can’t hear any normal household noises (TV, washing machines, dog etc) so it must be very very loud. It could be in the same room as us at times.

OP posts:

AccountDeactivated · 27/09/2022 14:09

Speak to them about it, let them know about the years of broken sleep (so you have been patient) and ask about going halfers on attempting sound proofing, or they could try moving the screaming kid to a room without a connecting wall. You’ll get people on here diagnosing the kid, like that will help you sleep 😄 but I’d have moved, fuck that, no sea view would be worth having to listen to that.

KILM · 27/09/2022 14:15

We had this, also an old house and generally soundproof etc and it was because of the layout, their babies room was sort of facing the bathroom so the sound was coming out of their tiny open bathroom window which obviously you need to do in some old houses to prevent mould. Then it was echoing round the back of the houses. It actually got better after we bumped into them and we made a big fuss of the baby and then asked how they were doing and said like a 'fair play to you, its hard when they are criers isnt it' and they had no idea we could hear it, because of the houses being so soundproof otherwise! They must have figured out it was the bathroom window cos it got a lot better after that. They were horrified bless them.

Original poster

Whoneedsleep · 27/09/2022 14:28

@AccountDeactivated my MIL is obsessed that the baby is autistic. Not sure how on Earth that helps me though regardless and I’m certainly not going to ask them.

We did want to move originally but we did think like with most babies this phase will pass. Surely it can’t go on much longer? Since when do babies scream all night during the night every night at that age, maybe I’m deluded because mine or my friends/families never did. Obviously they all cried as babies or when sick or having a nightmare but not just for no reason.

They don’t have windows open that I’m aware of, i think it’s coming through the joins or fireplaces! I was going to ask a plasterer to put another layer of plaster over the top of what’s there to make it thicker, would that help?!

OP posts:

veneeroftheyear · 27/09/2022 14:33

What floor coverings do you have in your bedroom? We recently carpeted our wooden floor and have really noticed an improvement in soundproofing between us and next door.

Original poster

Whoneedsleep · 27/09/2022 14:36

@veneeroftheyear we have rubbish thin carpets because we couldn’t afford nicer ones! If it would help I could upgrade that room though!

OP posts:

veneeroftheyear · 27/09/2022 14:38

It might help. I think you can get sound proofing underlay too. Not sure if that's from upper to lower floors or side to side, if you see what I mean but it might be worth investigating.

minipie · 27/09/2022 14:51

Poor baby and poor parents.

Appreciate it’s annoying for you but it’s so much worse for them, especially if the child is unhappy during the day too.

Please don’t speak to them about it. They must be going through hell and the last thing they need is to feel guilty about the neighbours as well. I expect they are already doing everything they can.

Suggest moving your own layout around if you can.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2022 14:54

Like I say it’s not even crying, that would be better, it’s top of the lungs screaming in what sounds like pure rage!

Like I said before, I would call SS. I don't care how lovely they seem, something is not right. That poor baby. This has been going on for far too long, and you have no idea what might be going on behind closed doors. At the very minimum, you need to speak to them so they know it's an issue.

Original poster

Whoneedsleep · 27/09/2022 16:07

@Aquamarine1029 if that could be a possibility I will. They will know it’s me obviously as who else could it be. It’s never crossed my mind they could be neglecting the baby as they seem to be a really loving family with a good support network (lots of involvement from grandparents etc) They also use a local childminder for a few hours of what I presume is respite so other people are involved with the child.
I did think maybe controlled crying was a part of it but I’ve heard them going to them as soon as they cry and pacing around the house so I presume they are just not bothering.
I would hate if there was something wrong though!

OP posts:

ifonly4 · 27/09/2022 16:18

I think you need to be honest and speak to the parents. If they were aware you hear, they might start trying to work on the route of it. Also, ways to minimize impact for you, ie we had our DD on the far wall away from neighbours. The child might have particular issues they're trying to assess, which at least would help you understand the problem from there point of view. Also, it'd be interesting to see how they react, are they concerned or really don't give a toss.

lobsterkiller · 27/09/2022 17:25

Could you be sharing joists? The sound will travel if you are or any gaps between the walls. Then soundproof underlay and carpet.

Farawayfromhere · 27/09/2022 17:31

No soundproofing advice, but my first was like this and our neighbours probably had an awful time. Although not as bad as the time we had! DC in question finally sleeps now they are a teenager. He was very well loved and cared for just extremely high maintenance.

Woodswoman · 27/09/2022 17:45

You could do a basic soundproofing with something like flexible underlay fixed to the adjoining walls, with sheets of ply covering it that you could paint, which wouldn’t cost a million pounds and could be easily removed without any mess in the future.

But I think I’d speak to them first…

Flip

1 2