What should I do?

[Badgerloco]

Last November I was offered what I thought was my dream job, in the charity sector, responsible for 25 staff. December DM collapsed and after 6 weeks in intensive care sadly passed away. Leaving terminally ill DF. I started my new job in February and although it’s been a challenge had held down the position and looked after DF, along with carers ever since. I didn’t take anytime to mourn my lovely mum, I didn’t have the time.

Three weeks ago DF collapsed and passed away, I am obviously devastated and struggling to cope with work.my job is really stressful, I’ve inherited lots of staff that have been allowed to get away with doing as they please. I’ve had two weeks off compassionate leave, and went back last week.

I just can’t deal with it. The moaning about inconsequential issues, people off sick just because they can’t be arsed to come in, unrealistic targets.

The funeral is coming up, and after that I just feel like I don’t want to do this anymore. I know I shouldn’t make any hasty decisions whilst I’m grieving but I just want to quit, and go back a step in my career - is that normal? I lack the drive needed to carry on.

Alternatively I could get signed off with stress for a couple of weeks and see if I can pull it together. I’m struggling to get anything done, or stop crying.

Any advice great fully received.

Wow OP, you’ve been through such a lot, I’m so very sorry 💐

In the first instance get signed off and take a bit of time. You haven’t had a chance to take a breath since your poor mum got ill, you need to rest and nurture yourself a bit.

It sounds like the job isn’t what you’d hoped but who can say how it would have been if you weren’t dealing with so much outside of work. Don’t make a hasty decision but some time away will hopefully give you clarity. Can you afford to quit without something else to go to? Adding financial woes to your existing grief and stress wouldn’t help.

So sorry op, what an awful time you are having. I wouldn’t make any rash decisions at the moment if I were you. I would totally take a few weeks off sick and rest up before going back to work and assessing the situation with a clearer head hopefully.

Thank you both, I can’t afford it really but I could make it work. I’ve never been signed off in my life, and struggle to understand my needs are great enough. However I can’t see the situation improving without a decent break. I’m exausted, anxious and overwhelmed.

I'm so sorry that you've lost both your parents within such a short time, OP. That must be very difficult to deal with, on top of the stress your job is causing you.

I agree with the above posters. Don't rush in to a decision, get yourself signed off for as long as you need. You might and probably will need more than two weeks, but I think it would be wise to do so.

Btw, I've been a manager in the charity sector and I understand everything you are up against, especially the issues with staff.

Just seen your second post. It's time to put yourself first, your needs really are great enough. I've had to get signed off with stress just once in my long working career and two weeks was just enough to help me reset myself.