When is ok to ask DH to get up

[rayflower]

DH out last night, came home drunk around 12:30, so not too bad. I've been up and down all night with our 1 year old who is sick, been up for the day since 0400 as she can't settle with her bad cough. When is a reasonable time to ask him to get up and swap with me so I can get a few hours sleep? 6.30/7??

I think it depends how drunk he was and when he'll actually be safe enough to look after a poorly baby, I know it's tough when you're tired

Will it make any difference to how much sleep you get once you can go back to bed?

if so why?

He wasn't as drunk as I would normally expect him to be, although I didn't give him much notice. We are sitting with a yogurt and tea watching strictly, so we're ok for now

What was the agreement beforehand? DH and I usually take turns for a lie in at the weekends especially if we have gone out for drinks. My one year old has just got over a vomiting bug so I feel for you though. You might find she will go back to sleep in an hour or so anyway and you can get some rest 🤞

Not really, I only want an hour, maybe 2. Tbh prob by the time he gets up I'll be fine and not bother going back. Just feels hard at the moment 😕

No real agreement...usually I deal with night wakings and DH gets up on mornings with her. Normally that's between 6-7am. He works every weekend and went straight out after work yesterday so I've been looking after her completely since he left yesterday morning. Which is fine, just running a bit low at the moment

Definitely 6.30. As you say you'll get more benefits from the sleep if it's a bit earlier. He can always have a nap again later on. He will have had six hours unbroken sleep, so that's fine. Are you worried he'll be arsey about it?

Yeah, it's rubbish!

However, if you would get the same amount of sleep at 10 as I would at 6:30 I would say push on through while you felt safe enough doing so. But if you were all going out this morning I'd say whatever time you need to to get a couple of hours sleep.

I don't think it's so much about what's 'reasonable' as much as what you need. He usually gets up with her, so it's kind of 'his shift' by 7 anyway & he chose to go out, you didn't chose to be up all night with a sick baby & up from 4 because she is!

hopefully she'll cuddle up & watch strictly then fall asleep and you can rest & not need to wake him at all... then it's surely his turn for most of the day!

I hope she's feeling better soon x

Honestly I'd probably just leave him for now and try to get a couple of hours during the day instead.