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Boring how do you do it question

21 replies

HeartShapedBoxes · 25/09/2022 00:00

Im learning to drive at the moment. Having left it really late. I’m struggling with knowing when the gap in the traffic is safe enough for me to go at junctions. How do you do it? I’ve had loads of lessons and my instructor still has to prompt me every time.

OP posts:
Cynderella · 25/09/2022 00:07

It's not knowing, I think; it's confidence. I have been driving a long time. When I'm driving a lot, I'm fine, but off the road for a while, and I'm sitting dithering. It'll come to you in time.

OytheBumbler · 25/09/2022 00:35

I think you don't go unless there's a gap you feel confident about. You could wait for ages but it's better to be sure.

As you're driving generally you will learn how fast your car can accelerate etc so joining traffic does become easier.

Ylvamoon · 25/09/2022 00:45

I agree, it's all about confidence and a lot of practice.

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Hellocatshome · 25/09/2022 00:51

The same way you know that a gap is big enough when you cross the road as a pedestrian. Practice and confidence.

whatwhhat · 25/09/2022 00:51

A bit morbid but I process in my head if the car will hit me. I like big gaps and it really does depend on the road (speed limit, conditions etc).

It does get easier with experience but I'm assuming you are taking a really long time if your instructor is prompting you. instructors I know would hit their breaks and stop you if you weren't being ridiculously cautious.

Be ready (car in gear one and ready to accelerate) think how much space you need and add another half as soon as you see the gap double check both directions and go don't hesitate (as it won't be clear to other drivers if you are going or not). I know you can't rely on it but most drivers will slow down for a car clearly joining the road.

HeartShapedBoxes · 25/09/2022 22:06

I think that’s my problem. I can’t judge how quickly the cars are coming/ how much I would need to accelerate or what the gap would be. I feel so panicky when I’m waiting and trying to judge it. I don’t know how to improve. I’ve had loads of lessons

OP posts:
napody · 26/09/2022 07:38

OytheBumbler · 25/09/2022 00:35

I think you don't go unless there's a gap you feel confident about. You could wait for ages but it's better to be sure.

As you're driving generally you will learn how fast your car can accelerate etc so joining traffic does become easier.

Agree with this.
Is instructor a bit pushy? I think him/her telling you when to go probably isn't helping and youve got into a bit of a vicious cycle with nerves. Could you ask them to just wait and leave it to you, or can you find someone else patient to practise with and agree that you'll just wait till you're happy to pull out? It's completely normal to want to wait for a big gap at first. My driving instructor would just laugh and cheerfully say 'take your time and if the person behind you beeps, put it in reverse and watch them panic when they see your reverse lights!' Made me laugh as a nervous learner and I'm a calm and confident driver now.

Turquoisa80 · 26/09/2022 07:41

If you would cross as a pedestrian in that gap then its definitely safe to go in the car

Onandgrowing · 26/09/2022 07:42

I always remember my instructor saying if you would cross the road in front of this car, you have time to go.

It does get easier to judge the more experienced you are.

lljkk · 26/09/2022 07:54

OytheBumbler · 25/09/2022 00:35

I think you don't go unless there's a gap you feel confident about. You could wait for ages but it's better to be sure.

As you're driving generally you will learn how fast your car can accelerate etc so joining traffic does become easier.

yeah agree, with practice & knowing your vehicle you'll get more confident. Also depends how many lanes you need to navigate across. (I loathe 3 lane RABs). Sometimes drivers get it wrong, and other drivers on RAB should be vigilant to that possibility to take evasive action. Just try to not get it very wrong.

lifesabitchandthenyoudie · 26/09/2022 07:59

I also think it's possible your instructor is 'helping' too much. My ex used to do the same when we were out walking if we were crossing a road. I realised after a while I'd lost any confidence in doing it myself. When I left him I had to, and found I was perfectly capable of judging it for myself! Maybe ask your instructor to let you work it out for yourself. Their interference stops your thinking process. You might be 'too slow' at first but you will improve as you increase your confidence. Also 'too slow' is better than dangerously fast!

FinallyHere · 26/09/2022 08:19

Hellocatshome · 25/09/2022 00:51

The same way you know that a gap is big enough when you cross the road as a pedestrian. Practice and confidence.

This is a good point.

So you find you have the same difficulty trying to cross the road in traffic or is it just that driving is so overwhelming for you are the moment that you can't concentrate on this calculation they way you can when walking across a road?

Dailymauifan · 26/09/2022 08:31

What I think is, there have been no recorded cases of people starving to death at a road junction, but plenty of recoded cases of people being killed by pulling out when they shouldn't, them and others.

Take your time OP, you will get more experienced. That tip about there being enough time to cross as a pedestrian is a good one.

Good luck with your lessons x

tranquiltortoise · 26/09/2022 08:39

The only way to improve is by driving more. Even if you've had lots of lessons, you don't have the same kind of experience as people who are driving daily, so don't be too hard on yourself. It takes time, just keep at it and you will get the hang of it.

SallyWD · 26/09/2022 08:39

I am too cautious and wait for a massive gap! It probably annoys the people behind me but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I always think what if I stall or something when turning out and the other car doesn't have time to stop?

qpmz · 26/09/2022 12:29

It's about not dithering. Accelerate quickly when there's a gap. Do not hang about. Do not wait for ages and ages as you'll get beeped.

HeartShapedBoxes · 27/09/2022 11:21

But how do you know if the gap is big enough that accelerating quickly will clear the car behind? I really don’t understand how you are supposed to judge the speed of the car behind

OP posts:
scissorsandsellotape · 27/09/2022 11:30

I would hope no one would beep a learner

Are you a passenger often OP? You can learn a lot about gaps by watching...

Meandyouandyouandme · 27/09/2022 11:35

I would look left, then right, look left again before pulling out. If any car coming from the left has been travelling faster than I thought ie, over the speed limit, and was now too close I would wait. If travelling at say 30mph, I would pull out if the distance was still sufficient for me to then get up
to 30mph. This works so long as people aren’t speeding, and if they are then try and get your speed up to the limit as soon as possible, but don’t feel forced to speed. This is trickier to judge on roads with a higher limit, as cars will reach you quicker.

bonnielochs · 27/09/2022 12:17

I was taught: If you would were a pedestrian and would need to RUN to cross the road, its not safe to pull out as a driver. Only if you were able to walk at average pace as a pedestrian would it be safe to pull out.
Much easier to judge it that way, I think, as you have years of experience being a pedestrian!

riotlady · 27/09/2022 12:37

I used to be overly cautious about this too (and roundabouts!) when I was learning but as others have pointed out, if you would walk across as a pedestrian then you definitely have enough time to pull out with your car. Sometimes manoeuvres feel like they take ages, but bear in mind you'll probably be out fairly quickly.

Also, remember that other cars can see you too. If you slightly misjudge it, the car coming might have to break a little and slow down, but if you're paying attention and not being impatient, it's very unlikely that you're going to get it so badly wrong that you're going to cause a crash.

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