Villa for a month with 3 mo & 2.5 yr old. Great idea? madness?

[roarfeckingroarr]

DC2 is due end of Jan. I'll be on mat leave for a year and have an almost 2 year old who is (at present) as easy as toddlers come, he's awesome and great company.

I want to make the most of mat leave so was thinking of renting a villa somewhere - probably Italy - for a month around May/June.

DP will be working but could fly out for a week or two mid way so he doesn't miss the kids too much. My two best female friends don't work and would no doubt pop out for a week each. One has a one year old, one has grown teenagers.

Is this madness? What could go wrong? Have my hormones made me forget that it's all quite hard with a tiny one? Only issues I foresee are a) I don't fancy driving abroad and would need two car seats. PITA. So would need somewhere not far from markets / town.

Any advice about where to go? I want warmth, a pool (shared ok), ideally a cleaner at least every few days.

My questions would be how quickly can you get baby’s passport.
Availability and cost of English speaking doctors and proximity and cost of local hospital eg A&E
Will you be lonely? No baby groups to attend. And during the week your DH will not be there? That is hard .

@Lavendersummer I rarely feel lonely, if ever. I'm very content with my own company, chatting to strangers, chatting with DS. DP and friends will definitely join for some of the time - flying out and back, plus getting settled, I'll need someone with two kids + bags.

I feel quite excited but it'll depend on the baby. Pre kids I set off alone round India and Nepal with a one way ticket and a small bag, ended up away for a year.

Thanks everyone !

@NameChange30 he wasn't the best sleeper but we co slept for ease / feeding and muddled through. I loved mat leave with DS, we did so much. I think oxytocin has a lot to answer for - I don't remember the hard bits 😂

My idea of hell- new borns are hard enough. I need familiarity, ease of speaking the language, my own house, having all my stuff, all my elder child’s toys and belongings. Seeing friends and family keep me sane amid chronic sleep deprivation. I want my husband to pass them off to when I just need sleep.
Sorry to be downer

I'd do it if I didn't have the DSC to consider.

I took DS backpacking for 8 weeks solo when he was 3.5-5.5 months old. Had the time of our lives. I'd happily have done it with 2 staying in one single place.

Only you know your capabilities and if you'd struggle being solo for that length of time.

@Rtmhwales that's awesome!! Where did you go?

You do forget pretty quickly, very few people would have more than one child otherwise

I've done cosleeping and breastfeeding in bed to survive with a bad sleeper (twice over) and it did help but it was only really bearable because DH did as much as he could to ensure I got chunks of sleep; he did all the chores so I could get early nights, he did nighttime nappy changes, he got up with DC2 in the morning (and DC1 if awake) so I could sleep in... luckily he didn't have to go away for work at any point, I would have survived if he had but would have been very grumpy about it! Personally I wouldn't have contemplated holidaying abroad without him at any point in the first year after the birth of DC2. But we're all different.

I have been travelling btw, backpacking in my late teens and an adventurous long trip with DH pre-kids... met couples travelling with babies/toddlers and thought good for them, but it wasn't for me!

Exactly.

People only think they need the kitchen sink. You don't.

And if you're going somewhere like Italy you could drive - although I know you said driving abroad worries you.

I think you'll find it fine.

We didn't have masses of toys for ds when we loved abroad because it's an entirely different lifestyle. Much more time spent outside and much more community facilities for young children. That's the things I'd be researching.

Congrats OP, I would wait until baby has arrived before you make plans. I find with my two (21 mth gap) it was easier to be at home, DS2 was a very different baby to our first DS. It would have been my worst nightmare to be away from home, DH & I found it really hard. Hopefully you will have a happier & more contented baby

Go for it but despite the distance I recommend driving as you then have your car and luggage is easier. You will need 3 overnight stops assuming you live in the s of England, an extra one if further north. I've just got back from lake Como and it's so beautiful, I want to move there! We took 3 days/2 nights but that was adults so add one extra day possibly 2. Tuscany is another option, closer to france for easy access to the autoroute.

The place I stayed wasn't child friendly unfortunately otherwise I would pm the details, though would highly recommend it to anybody who is an adults/teen group.

I took mine away at 5 month old and 2 years but a 4 week backpacking trip, was amazing! Where there's a will there's a way. Admittedly there was 2 of us and I didn't literally carry my luggage, it had wheels and we had the double buggy

The main thing I would worry about is medical care for the newborn especially if required - would want really good health insurance.

The other thing I would have hated would have been doing all the nights plus early starts with toddler - we shared this at home but obviously if you do it all anyway, no difference

You should do it. You sound like you'd regret not trying at least.

I took my three tinies away for a month to the seaside (familiar and in UK) for a month in the summer during covid. It was great- but I had a car and lots of little local activities to do.

It doesn't matter what the rest of us would do if it suits your personality and family and have the means to do it.