All my family have passed away and I'm only 34..how to deal with sadness?

[hotfloorgg]

Hi I'm just having a low day today.
I'm 34 and pretty much all my family have died through the years.
We were a close family and I had no siblings.
My mum died when I was 14
My grandad shortly after at only 67.
Then 5 years ago it all went wrong and my uncle died followed by my cousin 3 months later (he was only 33)
A year later his dad died (my uncle ) followed by my aunty a month later then my grandma who was my world and a mother figure passed at 98.
I was incredibly lucky to have her.
I only have my dad left and a aunt abroad who never speaks.
I'm so sad
I walk past all their houses and remember all the happy memories
All the nice Christmas days when they all came to grans and we opened presents
The same every year my gran would say "Christmas isn't like it used to be is it"
Then my uncle would chime in "no mum it's not,shall we go to the pub before dinner"

I just feel sad
It feels so unfair
How do I cope with all of them gone?
I have a partner and we live together,we want kids but I'm not getting any younger.

That's 2 uncles not the same one ...

Grief is never ending. I lost my mum, gran and then my son within a space of a year. Recently lost my dad too.
All I can say is that it changes you. It changes your outlook and makes you appreciate the tiny things.
life will never be the same but I try to enjoy and be happy in the ‘moment’. I would be doing a dis service to their memory if their legacy was to be a bad one.
You are young and will one day have your own children who you can talk to about their amazing relatives
I carry each of my loved ones (especially my son) with me at all times. The pain is a reminder of the wonderful years we had together.
They only die when you stop thinking about them.
x

Forgot to say OP thats its ok to have a sad day. When I have a particularly bad day I always buy fresh flowers.. not sure why but I need to ‘see’ beauty. The act of being positive helps me.
I will buy some beautiful flowers later and think of you, yours and mine OP x

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I have a small family with elderly parents, all other loved ones are gone. Both my husband's parents passed away at a very young age too. We recently had a baby and there are times we both feel really sad thinking they will never meet him.
My husband says over the years he got used to consoling himself by hanging on to the fact that he has so many lovely memories with his loved ones and that he is incredibly blessed to have shared this life with such a wonderful loving family.
I don't think it ever goes away and it does change you, but the wonderful memories are always with you 💜

What a beautiful idea. You are a lovely person.

@cathycake so sorry for your losses
The flowers is a beautiful idea
Thankyou
My gran loved flowers too

I'm so sorry @hotfloorgg and to you too @cathycake for your losses.

Oh OP, I found your post really moving. That's a lot of loss in a short space of time, no wonder you are struggling. Losing your mum really young must've been difficult too. Cherish the memories, they keep your loved ones 'alive' in your mind. Allow yourself to have days like today where you feel sad, grief is not a linear process and it comes in 'waves'. And 34 is very young, plenty of time to have your own family. Sending love, 💐

Im so sorry, it's heartbreaking. I lost my dad ages 55 14 years ago and my mum 65 last year. All my nans and grandads are all long gone.my mum was my everything my best friend and im truely lost with out her. Ive had to completely change my days as we soent them together, i feel so alone too.
I have my sister and brother but he lives in another country.

It was mums anniversary yesterday and i still can not grasp it.

It is absolutely ok to be sad, you need to deal with it the best for you.

I unfortunately have no advice, but you are not alone.

@hotfloorgg that is an incredibly amount of grief to deal with at a young age. I lost both my grandparents (the ones that were alive when I was born) at 20 and my dad at 23, then my great uncle and aunt who I was very close to, a year later. I have carried them all with me through the next 30 years (I'm early 50s). My teenage son is so like DDad that it is unsettling at times, and can be very triggering and bittersweet. A very good friend died 5 years ago. There are always empty places at Christmas, weddings, birthdays, christenings...

It is ok not to be ok. It's ok to be sad, it shows what wonderful people you've know and loved, to miss. Be kind to yourself. I love the idea above of fresh flowers, to bring new life to offset the sadness.

Feel the same, we were once a biggish family but over the years we have had losses, dad died when I was 14, my stepdad, sister and now my mum is in advanced stages of dementia. Christmas is when it hits home, we used to have big fun family Christmasses and I'm now it's just me and my dd and her dad. Sad but we have lovely memories.

OP what lovely messages you have had. I hope it makes you feel less ‘alone’ you are welcome to reach out anytime for a handhold

Grief is bearable we wear it like a cloak but the sense of huge loss is at times totally overwhelming.
The Queen summed it up perfectly when she said it’s the price we pay for love.

Although the loss is great fill the space with love, kindness and splashes of happiness. Live your life as they would want you to. You will have so many lovely stories to tell.