DD6 will not have filling

[Eslteacher06]

I found out my daughter, 6, needs to have a filling on an adult tooth in June. Even though she has had 6 month check ups since she was born and I thought I was meticulous with her teeth. The dentist would not do the filling then and referred her to a community dentist. I was not happy about this but he insisted. I personally think because he refused to spend time on it because my daughter started to panic. (He had the personality of a wet fart).

3 months later I enquire about the referral, worrying that the tooth can get worse. I find out that the referral can take at least 6 months. This has really panicked me because I worry her tooth will get worse.

Long story short and I change dentist because I am very unhappy with the old dentist .

New dentist is like a spa day in comparison. Really compassionate and takes time. She asks for an xray. Dd refused to do it, so we had to reschedule.

She finally gets xray and dentist says it's a deep filling. It needs sorting or pulling out.

By now 4th appointment, my DD took the injection fine. I was amazed! But then would not let her sort the tooth out.

After an hour, the dentist conceded that we wait for the referral and we put in a temporary filling. The dentist was losing her rag at the end herself

My dd panics over anything like this. I've tried to persuade her to have a Covid test in the past (to get back into school) and she will.not.do.it. I know giving her a temporary filling is kicking the can down the road. She WILL NOT back down. She will be like this every single time.

I am at my wits end. Does anyone have any suggestions? Please???

Sounds tough 😟

Is there a children’s dentist in your area? The Tooth Beary in Richmond is amazing - my dd needed 3 teeth extracted (not quite the same as a filling) and they were so kind, gentle - spoke to her, not over her, about the process in non-scary terms.
There’s a tv on the ceiling playing kids movies!
It wasn’t cheap, but so worth it for the calm experience - it was honestly almost a non-event in the end!

This is not medical advice as I genuinely know nothing about dentistry (Sorry!) but just a general "I am aware of" post - at the hospital we do childrens dental theatre lists where for teeth extractions in children who are unable to tolerate procedures awake we give them anaesthetic gas to anaesthetise them and then allow the dentists to do whatever is needed under a short general anaesthetic. They go home within about an hour of it all being done, all being well. I have no clue if this service is available everywhere nor if it enables them to do fillings, I don't know much about it. But this might be something you could speak to the dentist about if all other avenues fail. Obviously it's not ideal but it gets essential dental treatment done.

Are you not able to request that her dental work can be done under sedation/ anesthesia?
Regardless if it's the filling or the tooth being removed both would require her to
cooperate so maybe a referral for sedation would be the most sensible way forward if your dentist is unable to offer this service.

Can you explain if the referral already in motion to the community dentist is for the filling to be done using local anaesthetic or would it be for her to be put to sleep?

Is there a local dentist who specialises in phobic patients of any age, doesn’t have to be a specialist with children. A few years ago I had a real dental phobia and found a wonderful dentist who specialised in such patients, I used to get sedated for a filling ( to even be able to walk into the surgery took every bit of courage I had) he was incredible and I grew to trust him.

Yes, could you find a specialist service for her?
There's a Pain Free Dentist in Lancashire for example-perhaps something similar near you?

She was referred to the community dentist originally who are skilled at treating patients who need extra support, you booked her in elsewhere thar hasn't worked and now she's going to see the community dentist who can offer the support she needs. She has got the temporary filling. I'd focus on the success of having the injection and the temporary filling and take the pressure off while waiting for the appointment.

My daughter had a sedative liquid and the dentist almost hypnotised her before she had a filling. Some of her teeth didn’t have proper enamel and they had started to decay as soon as they emerged.

It's not about having patience or being able to deal with a phobic patient.

We come across lots of phobic patients. They don't want to traumatise a child and in all honesty it isn't the dentist job to battle a child who doesn't want it done so easier to refer out.

I had this with one of mine, the community dentist was excellent and we got the job done. He’s even had a tooth out at my normal dentist since.

The tooth needs sorting soon or it will become infected and she'll be in agony. You need to find a child friendly dental practice who offers inhalation sedation. Which area are you in?

I had this, lovely patient dentist, this was for extraction went 4 times , sometimes got as far as injection, then refused
In the end got referred for having it under gas, was amazing she was happy throughout
Once we got past that her teeth have been fine and she'll go happily to dentist

She was referred to a community dentist 3 months ago and its a minimum 6 month waiting time. They can give gas and air but personally I think she will need to be sedated. I don't know if they will do this.

While the dentist had the right to not bother with it, it's the wait that is stressing me out.

Yes, of course, we got further than before but the whole process has given me and my daughter anxiety. And now having to do the whole process again. It is a fine balance between getting it done and traumatising her. The first dentist was an absolute waste of space though.

We have a huge shortage of dentists in this area. I live North of Manchester. I might try the Lancashire place but im not sure they will accept her.

Thank for your help though. Its the most frustrating thing ever not being able to fix something like this due to her being scared.

My son had a temporary filling in an adult tooth that lasted a good 18 months. Hopefully it will tide her over until she's ready to try again.
Bedside manner is everything. My son got up and walked out when he was 10 and it took us a further six months to find a dentist who was more personable.