Feeling crap about myself today

[christmaslover100]

I've been through a really rough couple of years, lost 3 loved ones quite quickly together and been through the ringer with health problems aswell. I was diagnosed with ADHD also last year. The anxiety that I deal with along with the ADHD can be really crippling at times.

I have a long history of trauma due to bullying and an abusive relationship and it has made me very closed off the last few years. I used to be an incredibly open and friendly person, but I feel it has all been knocked out of me the last few years.

Anyway earlier I went to see an aesthetian about a microneedling treatment and I ended up leaving there feeling 100 times worse about myself. She criticised pretty much everything about my appearance, told me one of my eyes was bigger than the other, that I "looked wrecked " and on and on really. I know its their job to look at the skin, but not to be so horribly nasty. I obviously didn't make another appointment. It's just something small but it has made me feel so much worse about myself when I'm already feeling pretty low

I do see a wonderful therapist and have been doing great work but it still hasn't improved the really low self esteem that I'm dealing with. Can anyone relate or If you've been through a low period and come out the other side, how did you manage to do it?

Essentially, she’d be out of a job if her clients didn’t feel insecure about their appearance and weren’t willing to part with money to improve it. She has a vested interest in telling you you look awful, it doesn’t mean you actually do. Can you rationalise it to yourself like that? If you already have low confidence, stay away from this sort of thing.

I found that lifting weights really helped improve my confidence in myself. Not necessarily because it makes me look fab (although it does) but because it makes you really aware of what you’re capable of if you persevere and what your body can do when it’s strong and healthy. It gives you something to focus on and feel proud of.

Don't give this person too much space in your head. Easier said than done, but try and think about how little you value her opinion, how bad her customer service is, how she has just lost a potential customer. And then try and think about how you value you and that is the most important relationship in your life. Even if that sounds trite, it is true.
It just takes time to come out the other side OP. That has been my experience anyway. Just time and trying to stick with therapy through the highs and the lows like this. Just stay with it.

@ComtesseDeSpair yeah you're spot on. Put like that it makes sense why she would say the kinda stuff she did. I've been trying to make myself better by reasoning about it like that. I never thought about lifting weights but would definitely love to get into fitness so it's a great idea. I am also going to stay away from stuff like beauty salons until I feel a little better in myself

@coffeeisthebest thanks for your kind words. Thankfully I've felt a little better and have just tried to tell myself that her crappy customer service and insults just reflected badly on her

So sorry you experienced this op. I second what another poster said, sometimes people like this kinda want to make people feel insecure because they want you to go back and spend more money. I have noticed when my own confidence has been low that it kinda shows on the outside and I tend to avoid beauty salons unless it's a particular one where l know the people and they are kind.

I know it's hard but please try not to internalise what this person said, she sounds rude and unprofessional and you didn't deserve to be spoken to in such a way