Well, well, well. Look what we have here….. 🤯
Fed up of salt & vinegar? Smoky bacon? Well here we have for our readers with less discerning tastebuds… VAGINA flavoured crisps!
I have a few questions though..
- On whose vajayjay was this based?
I hark back to the bold Gwynnth Paltrows “this smells like your vagina” candle and again must ask HOW and WHY?
Did they base this like a family fortunes question? Les Dennis in a lab coat? “We asked 100 people to let us smell their points silently towards a womans crotch”
B. How did they chose which one was best? Surely that’s subjective?
Was it like blind date? Everyone gets a whiff then decides their favourite? “Cilla, I’m going to go with foof number 43”
“Aw our kid, look who you’ve turned down… you’ve turned down the glamorous Gemma who is just over a bad bout of cystitis”.
iii. What was the criteria?
Because I’m not joking, I’ve been really poorly all week with a horrific cold and have only had one shower in 5 days, by day 5, if I was able to smell, I have no doubt that my lady garden, which could have been more accurately described as the swamp of an ogre, with the delicate (not delicate at all) aroma of the bottom of a dead hamsters cage.
- So was there criterion to meet? You must have washed with dettol and a wire brush within the last 24 hours?
What about the heat on that day? Were the flowers kept under a strictly controlled temperature? because ladies, you KNOW this matters! Anything over 20 degrees outside temperature and I feel I’m walking about with a leaking nappy on, not sure whether I’ve peed myself or lost my body weight in sweat from the area of my doo-dah.
F. What was the age range of the Noo Noo’s?
There was a period of time in my life, prob about 2 years, where every orifice of my body smelled of CKOne perfume. I’m guessing between 20 and 22 and as long as the mating rituals haven’t changed too much over the years then they would have to exclude every moomoo between those ages as they will undoubtedly be bathing in the current perfume of the moment. They may also have to exclude my age group as I think I’m confident in describing my age group as the unmistakable aroma of off white, greyish big pants with a spattering of “shit, the elastic has gone on these… ah they’ve got another coupla months in them yet!”.
WHEN will this craziness end? WHO is going to buy these? (I might for research purposes.. and report back with findings “yes indeed, the smell was reminiscent of a Sunday morning in jammies on the couch after a weekend of being out out and sweating all night”)
What is next?
Walkers flavour pickers saying, Eureka! I have an idea and then the bold Gary Lineker appears on TV sitting on a park bench next to 2 upper class English ladies In their 90’s “well if the cheese and onion isn’t cheesy enough for you, taste these, the new Willie Walkers! Ladies you won’t regret it” whilst of course pointing silently to his crotch.
I’m going back to bed…. I’ve had enough internet for the day… THAT’S PLENTY!